# If you were the first human to walk .. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045 "2009-01-06T05:02:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/41 "2009-01-06T18:51:10Z")
To be truthful I’m a klutz now so I’d fall out the door and do a face plant. You’d hear “No!” then a air leak hiss with me saying “Shit!” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/42 "2009-01-06T19:04:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I think it would be fun to step just off camera then say, "Well, I’m seeing craters and dust and…wait..what the fuck is that? Something just moved. My God, what IS that thing? HOLY SHIT, IT’S COMING RIGHT AT ME! Noooooooooooooooooooo… Thats just too damn funny! If you could manage to run past the camera, knocking it out in the process of runing past it, that WOULD be too much 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/43 "2009-01-06T23:31:05Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Turning to fellow astronaut “I thought YOU had the keys!” Actually that is closer to reality than you may realize. When Apollo 13 was ready to leave the moon, out the many switches/breakers they had to use, GUESS which one they had broken off accidentally by trying to manuever around in those tight quarters in space suits? A McGyver moment with a ballpoint pen saved the day. Really. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/44 "2009-01-06T23:51:38Z")
Who farted? > [@picker](#): > > I knew I should’ve turned left at Alba-koi-kee. 😃 Or, in a constricted Marvin Martian voice, “Greetings, Earthlings… my name is Marvin, and I am about the blow up the Earth in a great big kaboom!” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/45 "2009-01-07T00:48:41Z")
“Someone remove this prop! It’ll show on the footages. And bring me an iced pop, it’s damn hot with all the projectors…what?..I’m live??..Oh… That’s one small step for a man…” ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/46 "2009-01-07T01:31:52Z")
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.” ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/47 "2009-01-07T02:11:15Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Actually that is closer to reality than you may realize. > > When Apollo 13 was ready to leave the moon, out the many switches/breakers they had to use, GUESS which one they had broken off accidentally by trying to manuever around in those tight quarters in space suits? > > A McGyver moment with a ballpoint pen saved the day. > > Really. Surely not Apollo 13? ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/48 "2009-01-07T02:11:21Z")
“I claim this land in the name of Rocket Science!” Then, the peeing begins. Seriously, other astronauts must fucking hate Neil Armstrong for that. As if being the first guy to walk on the Moon wasn’t enough, he had to go and coin a weighty, meaningful aphorism to commemorate the occasion. So now there’s all this pressure on whoever first visits the next celestial body. They know that everyone back on Earth will be expecting them to say something profound when they step off the ladder; and they probably didn’t sign up for astronaut training to give speeches. That’s the real reason we haven’t gone to Mars yet: stage fright. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/49 "2009-01-07T02:31:51Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > Surely not Apollo 13? Oppps No, Apollo 11. 13 had a more serious switch problem. Probably because they used a pencil instead 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/50 "2009-01-07T03:30:31Z")
“Line.” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/51 "2009-01-07T03:41:57Z")
whooooaaaaaaHHHHHH SHIT I SPRAINED MY ANKLE DAMMIT!!! At least, this is something I say frequently on Earth, no reason to expect the Moon would be any different. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/52 "2009-01-07T03:45:31Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel;10659209Then, the peeing begins. .[/QUOTE] I finally figured out how to do this while staying true to spririt of the enterprise and yet not hurting yee old wang ! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/53 "2009-01-07T17:37:07Z")
Hello, ladies and germs – well, I just flew in from Cape Canaveral and boy, are my arms tired… Thank you, I’ll be here for all of about six hours… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045.md?page=2)