# If You Weren't You, Who Would You Be? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836 "2013-05-20T16:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/1 "2013-05-20T16:41:27Z")
Not a bit metaphysical here. For whatever reason you picked your Doper name, which undoubtedly has an effect on how other Dopers perceive you. So, IF you hadn’t picked your present Doper Handle, what was your second choice? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/2 "2013-05-20T16:50:03Z")
**T. W. Sanders** ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/3 "2013-05-20T16:51:12Z")
Sam Francisco ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/4 "2013-05-20T16:52:28Z")
Hmm… maybe Muzition, which is my username on a lot of Internet things. Or something involving Montreal. Hadn’t really thought about it. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/5 "2013-05-20T16:55:06Z")
Spectre ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/6 "2013-05-20T17:15:47Z")
Hey, this is already my second choice doper name. My first one sucked, so I changed it. I do know that my porn star name would be [Amber Bikini](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BIKINI_state). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/7 "2013-05-20T18:13:19Z")
Either **HappySeaSlug** \* or **Why I Am a Destiny** \*\* \*\*This is a dorky reference to Nietzsche’s hilariously egotistical _Ecce Homo_, in which he has chapters entitled things like, ‘‘Why I am a Destiny’’ and ‘‘Why I Write Such Great Books.’’ \*This is a reference to a [happy sea slug.](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9a9bswCwp1qb3vqr.jpg) I would change my username, but whenever I talk about changing it, I get pushback from other Dopers who enjoy thinking of me as a bunch of marching olives. And really, my handle is silly like I am, so it’s hard to argue. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/8 "2013-05-20T18:20:53Z")
I have several other options and they are all my usernames on other parts of the internet, so I ain’t a-gonna share 'em here. So there. I guess if I had to think up yet another, I’d go with **Puddin Jr**. That’s what my husband calls both me and our daughter whenever he accidentally begins calling us by the cat’s name. “Hello there Puddin… uh… Jr.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/9 "2013-05-20T18:26:00Z")
Bug Vomit, of course, but it was already taken. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/10 "2013-05-20T18:41:44Z")
OZ the Great and Terrible because I am a humbug and originally from Omaha. But if I change now, people will think it’s just because of that movie which I haven’t seen yet. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/11 "2013-05-20T18:59:29Z")
Actually, come to think of it, if I was to change my name again, I would probably go for [Deranged Penguin](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7kdDeGXUjI). ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/12 "2013-05-20T19:17:05Z")
I sometimes think about changing my name to the XKCD reference, **Little Bobby Tables** , but considering the strip wasn’t written when I joined, I didn’t have that as a backup name at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/13 "2013-05-20T19:56:13Z")
I would use the screen name that I use on literally every other internet forum and online community that I belong to. I honestly have no idea why I picked “Johnny Bravo” way back when. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/14 "2013-05-20T19:59:59Z")
Why am I Gabriel? …Why am I Anderson? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/15 "2013-05-20T20:32:41Z")
Jack Off All Trades ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/16 "2013-05-20T20:39:45Z")
I have no idea. I chose my username when I was young and stupid and as many have pointed out over the years, it does not accurately reflect my attitude towards most things (unless I’m pissed off and cranky. Nothing makes me happier than out-pedanting an annoying pedant) but while I’d like to change it, I don’t know what I want to change it to and the fear of being stuck with something worse keeps me from doing anything. If I was forced to change it, I’d probably change it to something from the Phantom Tollbooth. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/17 "2013-05-20T22:36:49Z")
Ooh, I know the answer to this one… in my case, no one’s spending any spare time thinking about me. Even if I was _ **DonkeyDung Scratch’N’Sniff** _ or _ **Shaken Not Stirred 007** _, I’d be flying under most people’s radar. It’s quite liberating, really. To realize that 99% of people don’t care about details like your choice of name. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/18 "2013-05-20T22:42:41Z")
I had a few ready= \*\*STFU Donny KillerWatt AnotherRoadsideInfraction Stutz \*\* ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/19 "2013-05-20T22:43:55Z")
I picked mine in a fit of pique, but it does fit me pretty well. I’ve never really considered changing it. I’m partial to Sarchasm as an alternate, but it’s way too close to Czarcasm for use on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836/20 "2013-05-20T22:57:16Z")
Probably Blackthorn, as that’s my SCA name, and I was pretty active in the SCA at the time. If I had to rename myself now, it’s be something more along the lines of a Monty Python reference, like Dennis Moore. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-werent-you-who-would-you-be/658836.md?page=2)