# If You Won $25 Million, What Crazy Ass Stunt Would you Pull? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 16, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156 "2007-01-16T04:11:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/21 "2007-01-16T17:10:54Z")
I’d build myself a 4-engine [flying boat](http://www.zpub.com/sf/history/boeing314.html), take a trip around the world, and make a movie and book about it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/22 "2007-01-16T17:15:03Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] I saw a link here recently about Dracula’s castle being for sale… does buying a probably run-down castle in Romania to fix and turn into a hotel/museum (Parador Nacional style), with a wing for a low-cost hostel and one large room for myself count as a dumb stunt? [/QUOTE] Or you could buy [this castle](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tips/getAttraction.php3?tip_AttractionNo==535) (once it’s rebuilt), fly the Iranian flag from the ramparts and hire a masked and hooded militia to parade around the front of the property with fake automatic weapons. That’d get you some notoriety in the neighborhood. I’d finance an episode of _The Animal Adventurer_ with myself in the starring role and pay Animal Planet to run it. It would feature incredibly hair-brained stunts like: Petting The Domesticated Spaniel Picking Up Live Earthworms (“Woah! It’s Enormous!!!”) and Chasing Small Flightless Birds Now if I could just find my safari hat… ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/23 "2007-01-16T18:14:34Z")
> [@](#): > > “Now with 50% more horse!” This is great! But why stop at horseradish? I think every food product could benefit from this sticker. ---
**Author:** ![groman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@groman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groman)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/24 "2007-01-16T18:18:26Z")
[QUOTE=ZenBeam] This is great! But why stop at horseradish? I think every food product could benefit from this sticker. [/QUOTE] Also “Now cures cancer!” ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/25 "2007-01-16T18:27:34Z")
I’d just take a lesson from everybody’s favorite $315M Powerball winner, Jack Whittaker, and [manage to lose it all in approximately 4 years](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070112/ap_on_re_us/powerball_winner_problems). ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/26 "2007-01-16T18:58:09Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Mine would be that I’d do whatever it took to get on Jeopardy!. I’d go to every audition, do every online test, offer bribes if need me. Then, once I finally got on and was a contestant, I’d deliberately shank every question with some bizarre, insane answer: [/QUOTE] I’d do that now. I’d even dress up as Dee Snider, or better yet in a Speedo, cap and goggles. I wouldn’t even need the money. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Perro\_Fumando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e9c0ed/32.png) [@El\_Perro\_Fumando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Perro_Fumando)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/27 "2007-01-16T21:14:52Z")
[QUOTE=Madd Maxx] I would buy as many season tickets as possible for the new Cowboys stadium being built. I would then give the Redskins @ Dallas tickets (along with airline tickets and prepaid hotel accomidations) to avid Washington D.C. area Redskins fans. Then there would be whole areas of the new Cowboy stadium filled with burgundy and gold for every home versus the Redskins game. The seats would then sit empty the rest of the year. That ought to piss off Jerry “Facelift” Jones. [/QUOTE] You’re also _my_ hero for this, but only if my mother and I can be a part of it. My stunt’s not so big: buy a brand new house custom-built with a stripclub/sports bar themed basement complete with bar, multiple HDTVs, and a stripper pole or two. (Why yes, my husband is a very lucky man.) However, before we move out of the current house, pay most of our neighbors (all but the ones that are about to get pranked) a hefty sum of money to not complain, then set up a giant sound system to blare opera or some other non-rap music in the middle of the night as payback for the neighbors with offensive bass. (Maybe that’s a little mean, but I don’t care.) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/28 "2007-01-16T21:32:13Z")
> [@](#): > > The craziest I’d get is to fly first class on British Airways on my semi-annual trips abroad. How cool your life must be! I’d build a library in my honor. I’d make 'em erect a giant statue of me, with waterfalls. There would be a secret password to get in, and there would be daily events for the kiddies and seminars like (with apologies to F. Nietzsche) “Why Olives is So Wise”, “Why Olives Writes Great Books” and “Why Olives is a Destiny.” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/29 "2007-01-16T22:07:18Z")
Whenever I’d get the urge to spend a quarter of a million dollars on a car, I’d use that much money to buy something useful for the community, instead. I’d find brilliant-but-poor musicians and artists. I’d put 'em on a generous salary to do their best work, rather than having to churn out schlock to pay the bills. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/30 "2007-01-16T22:20:35Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] I’d build a library in my honor. I’d make 'em erect a giant statue of me, with waterfalls. There would be a secret password to get in, and there would be daily events for the kiddies and seminars like (with apologies to F. Nietzsche) “Why Olives is So Wise”, “Why Olives Writes Great Books” and “Why Olives is a Destiny.” [/QUOTE] [It’s been done](http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer). ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/31 "2007-01-16T22:53:35Z")
I was going to say I would take over the independent principality of [Sealand](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealand), an abandoned off-shore WWII anti-aircraft platform taken over and declared an independent nation by a couple of daring crackpots, but from the Wikipedia article I linked, it appears that $25 million wouldn’t be enough. So instead I’d probably start a national campaign of billboard and/or television ads, telling people not to be so stupid all the time. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/32 "2007-01-16T23:06:12Z")
Call the fire department and ask them if they’re busy. Call the Bank and pay off the mortgage and call and cancel the homeowners insurance. Pass out marshmallows and hot dogs to the neighbors. Then move DeHusband and DeMenagerie out and burn that lousy, broken-foundationed house to the ground. It’d be \*so \* beautiful! ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/33 "2007-01-16T23:11:37Z")
Me-262, baby! Then I’d tour the world doing airshows. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/34 "2007-01-16T23:20:27Z")
[QUOTE=Eve] Oooooh–I’d get all the silent movies in vaults all over the world restored, musically scored and released on DVD! There’s thousands of them we’ll never see because not enough people will buy the DVDs to make it pay off. [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t it be so much more fun to have them restored and shown in dream palaces with a Wurlitzer or live orchestra? You could serve dinner and drinks and require period dress. ---
**Author:** ![JCorre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3da27b/32.png) [@JCorre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JCorre)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/35 "2007-01-16T23:59:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] … I’d also rent a bunch of drones and use them to skywrite over various intractable trouble spots, in the appropriate languages: “You people are being idiots. Calm down and smarten up, or we’ll give the whole area to the Martians.” [/QUOTE] That is awesome. Well done sir or maam. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/36 "2007-01-17T00:05:25Z")
I’d spend a few months compiling a mass e-mailing list from as many sources as I could find. Once done, I’d send out hundreds of thousands of emails stating that I am an eccentric millionaire who, by virtue of some run-ins with the IRS, has lost immediate access to several of my accounts, and as such, I need your help. If you reply to this email _now_ with your name, address, social security number, date of birth, and bank account number, this will allow me to channel my money through your account, and as a reward, I will leave you ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Then, when the first few people responded…I’d deposit $1,000,000 into their accounts. Next, I’d contact the media and inform them, anonymously, that this had happened. National news outlets everywhere would begin reporting that replying to emails asking for scads of personal information results in being awarded with fabulous cash prizes. I would then sit back and watch the very interesting changes in global wealth distrubition over the next few months. Yeah, I’m evil. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/37 "2007-01-17T00:17:24Z")
**Mr. Orzabal** , you are one mean bastard. I kinda like it. A lot. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/38 "2007-01-17T00:54:41Z")
Buy 25M worth of futures in avocados, asparagus, citrus, and lettuce. Oh wait, I would have had to do that last week, wouldn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/39 "2007-01-17T02:00:38Z")
I would commission a kick-arse all glass submarine to travel under the polar cap. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156/40 "2007-01-17T02:39:52Z")
[QUOTE=Spectre of Pithecanthropus] Buy 25M worth of futures in avocados, asparagus, citrus, and lettuce. Oh wait, I would have had to do that last week, wouldn’t I? [/QUOTE] What happened last week? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-won-25-million-what-crazy-ass-stunt-would-you-pull/388156.md?page=3)