# If you'll smear your penis with mustard will it get burnt?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [December 25, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024 "2003-12-25T17:39:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@eyeamflesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eyeamflesch)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/1 "2003-12-25T17:39:29Z")
?
---
### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/2 "2003-12-25T17:49:04Z")
Why don’t you try it and let us know.
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/3 "2003-12-25T17:51:19Z")
:dubious:
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### Author:  [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/4 "2003-12-25T17:51:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by eyeamflesch \*
> \*\*? \*\*
But of course.🙂
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### Author:  [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/5 "2003-12-25T17:52:19Z")
Yeah, man. Only one way to find out.
It’s probably going to hurt like hell, but it all depends on the spiciness of the mustard.
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### Author:  [@Slartibartfastt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slartibartfastt)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/6 "2003-12-25T17:55:52Z")
Only if you then put it into a hot bun 🙂
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### Author:  [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/7 "2003-12-25T18:01:34Z")
This sounds like a job for **[mangeorge](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=198659)**!
😃
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### Author:  [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/8 "2003-12-25T18:53:13Z")
Ask SPOOFE.
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### Author:  [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/9 "2003-12-25T19:06:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by XWalrus2 \*
> \*\*Ask SPOOFE. \*\*
He used toothpaste.
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### Author:  [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/10 "2003-12-25T19:08:04Z")
I know, but I was thinking maybe he’d be willing to find out for us.
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### Author:  [@RyanV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RyanV)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/11 "2003-12-25T19:19:40Z")
Dude I think your dog would prefer peanut butter.
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### Author:  [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/12 "2003-12-25T21:59:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by RyanV \*
> \*\*Dude I think your dog would prefer peanut butter. \*\*
Maybe he has a pig.
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### Author:  [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/13 "2003-12-25T22:13:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chandeleur \*
> \*\*This sounds like a job for **[mangeorge](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=198659)**!
>
> 😃 \*\*
Grey Poupon. 😛
It burns a little, esp under the glans.
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### Author:  [@gubernator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gubernator)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/14 "2003-12-25T22:21:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> It burns a little, esp under the glans.
You made me whimper…
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### Author:  [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/15 "2003-12-25T23:03:01Z")
My question is this:
Where would I find enough mustard?
: ducks and runs :
Tripler
I really would run, but I’d trip over myself, and that would hurt like hell. 😉
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### Author:  [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)
#### Post date: [December 25, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/16 "2003-12-25T23:22:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mangeorge \*
> \*\*Grey Poupon. 😛
> It burns a little, esp under the glans. \*\*
I nominate you for the First Annual "_Anything to Fight Against Ignorance, Lifetime Achievement Award"_
You da man, george!
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### Author:  [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/17 "2003-12-26T00:13:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chandeleur \*
> \*\*I nominate you for the First Annual "_Anything to Fight Against Ignorance, Lifetime Achievement Award"_
> You da man, george! \*\*
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And I’d like to thank all the little people who helped get me where I am today;
My ex-wife.
My ex-girlfriends. Even Kim.
The nuns at St. Joseph’s primary school.
And a really skinny, totally hairless guy in Salt Lake City.
Peace,
mangeorge
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### Author:  [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/18 "2003-12-26T00:18:24Z")
Some kraut and relish for me, thank you. Light on the onions.
…hey, you gonna finish that?
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### Author:  [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/19 "2003-12-26T00:20:24Z")
It took until the 18th reply for someone to ask…
WHY?!
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### Author:  [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)
#### Post date: [December 26, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/20 "2003-12-26T01:01:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by clayton\_e \*
> \*\*It took until the 18th reply for someone to ask…
>
> WHY?! \*\*
I’d guess the “why” was answered in the 10th reply.
😉
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