# If you'll smear your penis with mustard will it get burnt? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 25, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024 "2003-12-25T17:39:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/41 "2003-12-27T06:03:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eyeamflesch \* > **don’t you focus on me but on the act of smearing mustard on your penis and the utilitarian properties of it.** Though I tried hard, I can think of any utilitarian property for that. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/42 "2003-12-27T06:04:48Z")
Make that “I CAN´T think…” ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/43 "2003-12-27T06:07:51Z")
So it takes 40 posts before someone notices: **you’ll smear** He’s not asking about HIS tallywhacker, he wants us to all see if our schlongs pass muster(d). ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/44 "2003-12-27T06:14:11Z")
Oh and I prefer my wenies served with a clam instead of in the buns. ---
**Author:** ![gluteus\_maximus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@gluteus\_maximus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gluteus_maximus)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/45 "2003-12-27T12:11:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blasphmer \* > \*\*So it takes 40 posts before someone notices: > **you’ll smear** > He’s not asking about HIS tallywhacker, he wants us to all see if our schlongs pass muster(d). \*\* So, you counted, **blasphmer** , but didn’t you read? > [@](#): > > _originally posted by gluteus maximus_ > \*\* Re: If you’ll smear your penis with mustard will it get burnt?\*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by eyeamflesch_ **If you’ll smear your penis with mustard will it get burnt?** > > \*\*There are no known cases of mustard being burnt by contact with my penis. > > Yet, some ancient philosopher supposedly said, “He who has a hot rod may as well smear mustard on his penis.”…\*\* Therefore, it took 30 posts before someone noticed… you “noticed” again, 11 posts later. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/46 "2003-12-27T12:48:09Z")
> [@](#): > > From _Father Ted_: > > Ted: We need more concrete ideas than that. What do older women like? > > Jack: My cock in a burger bun. ---
**Author:** ![eyeamflesch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b2d939/32.png) [@eyeamflesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eyeamflesch)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/47 "2003-12-27T19:01:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mangeorge \* > \*\*Location: Greece > Really? First poster in Greece I’ve noticed here. And welcome. > > Most people refer to only the part of the male genitals that protrudes (the shaft) as the penis. Rarely does it grow any hair. \*\* When I’m whacking off imagining that I’m eating a vagina I tend to see it as a whole, not a mixture of clitoris, pussylips and sometimes small hair that get stuck between your teeth. That’s how I think about the whole “penis area”. Yer witty though. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/48 "2003-12-27T20:05:59Z")
Witty? I was trying to be clinical. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/49 "2003-12-27T22:50:19Z")
theres a joke in here with the “Grey Poupon” but i just cant find it. for your curiosity I recomend the encyclopedia of unusual sex acts (or is it practices?) either way seems right up your alley. ---
**Author:** ![eyeamflesch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b2d939/32.png) [@eyeamflesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eyeamflesch)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/50 "2003-12-29T12:54:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Critical1 \* > \*\*theres a joke in here with the “Grey Poupon” but i just cant find it. > > for your curiosity I recomend the encyclopedia of unusual sex acts (or is it practices?) > > either way seems right up your alley. \*\* I’m watching an eBay bid of the book, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024/51 "2003-12-29T14:38:42Z")
Television host Conan O’Brien is rumored to be launching a line of gourmet condiments. The profits will go to charity. The first two are ready to hit the stores in January. There’s **Spicy Brown Formita Poupon Mustard.** The other is **Golden Arc de Triomphe Salad Dressing,** a lemon-pepper preparation. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youll-smear-your-penis-with-mustard-will-it-get-burnt/221024.md?page=2)