I suppose it’s possible that the spread of woo (like trying to cure one’s cancer by “changing body pH”) and antivax attitudes might have a significant impact of life expectancy.
But I’d want to see the hard evidence there too.
Now I’m confused… is it bigger water or smaller water that’s supposed to help?
I know! I’ll take the middle road and just drink… water. 
If you want big water, just use one of those Bobble Tea straws. For smaller water a regular straw works fine. But don’t use one of those bendy straws because it causes turbulent water and we know that’s not good.
Yesterday I saw a claim that drinking lemon juice and AC vinegar will alkalize your body and make you healthier. I don’t get it. Those are acids. I mean, obviously it’s nonsense about the alkaline and all, but why would anyone claim that acids would make you more alkaline? Is it just complete stupidity? Some chain of ‘reasoning’ that I missed?
" My target market has no understanding of basic biology."
Well, that would explain it I guess. Right up there with holistic water, indeed.