# If your boyfriend/husband impregnanted another woman, would you raise the child? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170 "2005-02-03T14:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/21 "2005-02-03T18:50:21Z")
> [@Q.N. Jones](#): > > Whoa–so now she’s a _murderous_ slut?!? > > Seriously, though, Mynn–you do realize that it wouldn’t be your decision whether or not the biomom got to keep any parental rights, don’t you? Fully. I completely support as much as I can, a woman’s right to abortion. Access to abortion, access to learning how to do them, and everything else necessary gynecologically speaking. However, when it gets personal - **I** would never\* have an abortion except under exceedingly extreme circumstances. Either I do everything in my power not to get pregnant, or I stick it out. Period. I have always felt that way. My husband and I have a child. If another child were to enter into that picture with my biology or his, and it was the choice of “abort” or “adopt” I’d pick adopt. But if someone is going to fuck with us like that, they will sign away their rights so that I can adopt the child. She says she’ll get an abortion, doesn’t want the child. I don’t want her to do that, but I can’t very well stop her. But if she’ll have the child on the condition that we keep it and raise it, I will assume parental rights, and she will give them up (I can’t adopt the kid, as far as I know, unless she does anyway). If she changes her mind, I’ll do my best to adapt to the situation (be it abortion or a now split extended family) and try to keep it amicable for the sake of the children. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/22 "2005-02-03T18:58:02Z")
> [@Mynn](#): > > **I** would never\* have an abortion except under exceedingly extreme circumstances. We had some interesting test results with Wolfie, and I had to think about it really hard - if it turned out to be worse or if I became 85% or so likely to die, would we. We didn’t have to make that decision, and I don’t expect I would have, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/23 "2005-02-03T19:24:25Z")
Rather than post twice, here’s a [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5797601&postcount=31). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/24 "2005-02-03T19:38:57Z")
Never never never. a) I don’t want to have kids anyway. b) His cheating ass would be on the doorstep. I do have some odd & slightly unorthodox views about cheating but the bottom line is you spawned a _kid_, you deal with said kid. If I was in any kind of rational state of mind, (say if the guy was my friend and had done this to somebody else) I might even encourage him to be with the \*other \* woman - the kid he created needs him more. c) I cannot believe that I wouldn’t feel some unconscious resentment throughout my whole life at the kid that f\*\*\*ed up my life and my relationship with my SO. I wouldn’t blame him…but subconsciously I might, and inadvertently might punish him for it without ever realizing it. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/25 "2005-02-03T20:09:34Z")
> [@DeadlyAccurate](#): > > No, because there would be no more “us.” Now if some woman dropped her kid off on our doorstep claiming it was my husband’s, and the kid was old enough that he/she was conceived before our relationship became exclusive, then yes, I would. \*\*Deadly Accurate \*\* expresses my feelings as well. However…Ann Ross has written an amusing series of light books about a lady named Miss Julia, who finds out after her husband’s death that he had cheated on her. She finds out when the other woman and child show up on her doorstep. Now, in that case, if I no longer had to deal with the cheating husband, I would consider raising the child. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/26 "2005-02-03T21:33:42Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > Absolutely not. We don’t want kids at all, and I certainly wouldn’t continue the marriage if I discovered he was cheating. Yeah, what she said. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/27 "2005-02-03T21:52:25Z")
Kids are a deal-breaker for me too, so no way. If he cheated, but the other woman had an abortion, I’d consider working through our relationship issues and giving him a second chance, depending on circumstances. I would want to know I gave it a try at least. However, if he became a father (i.e. the woman decided to have the child), I would boot him straight out the door. Like I said, it’s a deal-breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170/28 "2005-02-03T22:55:17Z")
Nope. We probably wouldn’t be married anymore, either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-boyfriend-husband-impregnanted-another-woman-would-you-raise-the-child/288170.md?page=1)