# If your Dope is running slow. **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [June 5, 2010, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044 "2010-06-05T12:16:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/21 "2010-06-08T10:38:06Z")
Nice work. 🙂 @ **ZipperJJ** — I don’t suppose you’d care to walk me through it? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/22 "2010-06-08T11:38:49Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > \*If your Dope is running slow > And you’ve got no place to go > And your membership means no ad > Don’t get cranky. Instead be glad! > > Cook some food. Hey, have some lunch– > It’s later than noon? You can still munch. > Just head off to the grocery store. > Or clean your house. But wait, there’s more! > > Throw a toy mouse for your cat. > Open your closet, select a hat. > Wear it as the dog you walk. > Call a friend; catch up and talk. > > When my Dope is running slow > I don’t sit there and say, “Woe > Is me,” because although I’m paying > There’s other stuff. Know what I’m saying?\* > > Yeah, well, anyway, I guess the point is that IME, there are other sites to see and other things to do, if the SDMB is running slowly. > > Darn the title of the thread for scanning so well and popping these lines into my head. This is what was running through my head: Does your Dope run slow Is the speed way to low Is it the only spot? Does it make you want to blow? Can you feel your anger molder Like a volcano that smolders? Does your Dope run slow? (To the tune of “Do your ears hang low”, of course) ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/23 "2010-06-08T12:25:34Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > Rubicon isn’t scanning the SDMB; it’s the supplier of our **remnant ads** … Revenants? AAAAHHH! [childish scream], Zombies! ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/24 "2010-06-08T12:43:02Z")
_If your Dope is running slow and you’ve got no dough and it’s pissing down outside and you’ve just ran out of blow oh no, oh no, oh no, oh woe!_ Altogether now… _If your Dope is running slow and you’ve got no dough and it’s pissing down outside and you’ve just ran out of blow oh no, oh no, oh no, oh woe!_ ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/25 "2010-06-08T14:31:47Z")
Aliens are slowing down the performance of certain Dopers’ computers, out of fear that those particular Dopers will discover them. They do not need to slow down all of our computers because most of us are sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/26 "2010-06-08T15:02:40Z")
> [@xtisme](#): > > …if not, perhaps I can send you some pictures next time… > > -XT Yeah, send me pictures! 😃 And make sure they are slow, so I get it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/27 "2010-06-08T16:00:12Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > Nice work. 🙂 > > @ **ZipperJJ** — I don’t suppose you’d care to walk me through it? Mods probably don’t want me telling people how to subvert advertising, so check your PMs. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/28 "2010-06-08T18:30:19Z")
I’m having the same problem, only on the SDMB… pages will partially load but it then there is a loooong pause while it finishes doing…something, during which I can’t scroll or click on anything. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/29 "2010-06-08T18:31:50Z")
Yikes, it’s spreading! ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044/30 "2010-06-08T20:03:24Z")
Interesting - the symptoms at the top of the thread seem not unlike I have been trying to report to my DSL provider for almost a year now. I see it on some sites and not others. The local paper, with lots of such ad servers embedded is very similar in response. but sometimes it could be yahoo or google that is entirely unreachable. Persistence on my part seems to show that their changing the physical and virtual network I am connected to does nothing to resolve the problem. But sometimes I can show that I can’t even reach the dns server that they run, and so I can’t resolve a url to an IP address, so the browser just hangs waiting for that address translation to happen. I haven’t been able to convince ATT of that yet, but I might be getting close. I had a very senior guy out here last week. He told me that there is just one router between me and the dns server, and I am about to suggest to him that he swap out that router. When routers go, they tend to affect people locally and in strange ways, while others whose traffic takes a different path are completely unaffected. Sort of like traveling in cars - I don’t care about the traffic report in your neighborhood - no matter how clogged, it doesn’t affect me. But if my neighborhood, even my block is clogged, whoa nelly! Not saying this is the issue being seen here, or even if it is, it will be easy to resolve (no pun intended for the geeks reading this) but it could account for the variety of experiences reported in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-dope-is-running-slow/542044.md?page=1)