# if your ex did this, what would you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 22, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782 "2014-07-22T22:28:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/1 "2014-07-22T22:28:10Z")
I’m curious, if you knew your ex and their SO broke into your email then followed you around the forums you signed up for with that address, then sent an email to your employer accusing you of doing illegal drugs, then included your sign on information for the forums and shared private medical information with the employer, what would you do? Other than obviously changing passwords and taking more security measures, would you go to law enforcement, just drop it or what? What if you had a child with this person? Would you be inclined to go the path of least resistance? ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/2 "2014-07-22T22:31:54Z")
I’d be thinking of contacting the police and maybe the courts for at minimum a retraining order. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/3 "2014-07-22T22:40:49Z")
I’d be contacting a lawyer to see what my options are. Off the bat, I’m thinking HR should back away from any BS like this. So I don’t think one would have to worry employment wise. But still, that’s fucked up. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/4 "2014-07-22T22:44:00Z")
Aren’t you currently contracting with a lawyer about this, or considering it? Because I highly doubt a lawyer will want you to be posting this kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/5 "2014-07-22T22:50:47Z")
Is there a way to change the thread title? I left a word out. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/6 "2014-07-22T23:39:23Z")
I would have been more careful about who I got involved with in the first place, and found an amicable way to separate if it cane to that. So if what the OP described had happened to me, I would chalk it up to my own poor judgment, carelessness and negligence. When my wife asked me why I loved her, the fist thing I thought of was that I saw in her a character that I knew would never intentionally do anything to harm me (nor anybody else), no matter what happened. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/7 "2014-07-22T23:41:49Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Is there a way to change the thread title? I left a word out. Sorry. Go to your first post and click on the red triangle at the upper right (Report This Post). You can then type a message to the forum Moderator requesting help with the title change. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/8 "2014-07-22T23:48:18Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I would have been more careful about who I got involved with in the first place, and found an amicable way to separate if it cane to that. That’s ridiculous. You do not have a crystal ball, and you ain’t Charles Xavier. You can’t predict the future or read minds. People change. Sometimes people go batshit crazy before, during, and/or after a relationship ends. Particularly when children are involved. Or when remarriages happen. Or when one party has a string of bad luck. Or when the other party has a string of good luck. Etc. Sometimes addictions happen. Sometimes crimes happen. The world really does not work the way you seem to think it does. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/9 "2014-07-23T00:12:38Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I would have been more careful about who I got involved with in the first place, and found an amicable way to separate if it cane to that. So if what the OP described had happened to me, I would chalk it up to my own poor judgment, carelessness and negligence. > . Are you kidding me with this shit? Way to victim blame dude. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/10 "2014-07-23T00:19:20Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I would have been more careful about who I got involved with in the first place, and found an amicable way to separate if it cane to that. So if what the OP described had happened to me, I would chalk it up to my own poor judgment, carelessness and negligence. > > When my wife asked me why I loved her, the fist thing I thought of was that I saw in her a character that I knew would never intentionally do anything to harm me (nor anybody else), no matter what happened. I really hope I’m wrong in your case but a lot of sociopaths are looking for people with this kind of naivete. Hopefully that doesn’t happen to you. Moving on… ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/11 "2014-07-23T00:21:23Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Go to your first post and click on the red triangle at the upper right (Report This Post). You can then type a message to the forum Moderator requesting help with the title change. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/12 "2014-07-23T00:24:01Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > That’s ridiculous. You do not have a crystal ball, and you ain’t Charles Xavier. You can’t predict the future or read minds. People change. Sometimes people go batshit crazy before, during, and/or after a relationship ends. Particularly when children are involved. Or when remarriages happen. Or when one party has a string of bad luck. Or when the other party has a string of good luck. Etc. Sometimes addictions happen. Sometimes crimes happen. The world really does not work the way you seem to think it does. Some people are sociopaths and are very good at pretending. And I didn’t ask to get his gf involved, I have no control over who he chooses to include in his life you know? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/13 "2014-07-23T00:33:28Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Some people are sociopaths and are very good at pretending. And I didn’t ask to get his gf involved, I have no control over who he chooses to include in his life you know? I’m pretty sure **Oakminster** was responding to **jturr88** , not you. I’d definitely be calling the police, or an attorney, to find out what sort of laws my ex and his/her SO were breaking. I’d probably talk to HR or my employer, too. I certainly wouldn’t do nothing beyond changing passwords. that sort of behaviour shouldn’t be tolerated. I don’t see how the presence of offspring would affect my decision. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/14 "2014-07-23T01:21:07Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Is there a way to change the thread title? I left a word out. Sorry. You should have left all of them out. This is not the right place to open a can of worms like this. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/15 "2014-07-23T01:37:48Z")
Really? Should I ask to have it deleted? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/16 "2014-07-23T01:42:16Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Really? Should I ask to have it deleted? Why would you? I don’t see why. Unless you use the same user name and password across all forums, email and other accounts, perhaps (and assuming your OP is something going on in your life right now.) But presumably you are being sensible about posting here, and not using the same log-in info everywhere. If that is not the case, I don’t see why this thread needs to be deleted. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/17 "2014-07-23T01:44:07Z")
Changed the title like you asked. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/18 "2014-07-23T01:46:21Z")
I just thought I broke some odd rule about proper topics of conversation. I just really am curious as to what people would do. I know some people are the bury their heads in the sand types, some avoid any kind of involvement with the law, some people are more aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/19 "2014-07-23T01:56:51Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Why would you? > > I don’t see why. Unless you use the same user name and password across all forums, email and other accounts, perhaps (and assuming your OP is something going on in your life right now.) But presumably you are being sensible about posting here, and not using the same log-in info everywhere. > > If that is not the case, I don’t see why this thread needs to be deleted. Me neither, though it might be wise to caution amorali to not go into any specifics. But I’d think it might be possible to find a lawyer who’d be very interested in this case. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782/20 "2014-07-23T02:03:27Z")
No specifics. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-ex-did-this-what-would-you-do/693782.md?page=2)