# If your kid came home with a baby dragon... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 19, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484 "2008-11-19T18:32:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/1 "2008-11-19T18:32:15Z")
Say your kid gets home (or you find it, whatever) with a basketball sized egg, saying “look what I found” and before you could fire up your "put that thing back where it came from or so help me"s the thing cracks and there is a baby dragon inside. Unmistakably a baby dragon, not a dinosaur, not a lizard, you can clearly tell it is the creature of legend you very well know not to exist. Yet there it is. What do you do? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/2 "2008-11-19T18:42:53Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > What do you do? Research. Oh yeah, we’re keeping it. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/3 "2008-11-19T18:49:32Z")
Well you touched it so the mama dragon isn’t going to take care of it anymore. you have to keep it. go to the pet store for an aquarium and dragon food. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/4 "2008-11-19T18:50:43Z")
Figure out what it eats before it figures out what it eats. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/5 "2008-11-19T18:52:16Z")
1. Call lawyer to retain portion of rights to any profits from dragon-related research or entertainment. 2. Donate to San Diego Zoo — let them worry about insurance, exercise, vet, source for dragon chow. 3. You still here, kid? We’ll visit your dragon on the weekend. Now, I asked you to go find me a _hippogriff_ egg. Geez, kids these days. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/6 "2008-11-19T18:55:47Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > 1. Call lawyer to retain portion of rights to any profits from dragon-related research or entertainment. Only problem there is you’re putting yourself on the hook to be named in the lawsuit after the San Diego Zoo burns to the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/7 "2008-11-19T18:57:55Z")
Considering I wouldn’t let him keep the fiddler crabs (they skittered every time I walked into his room) or the billion-legged caterpillar thing he brought home, I’d probably send the dragon back, too. Unless it starts talking to him telepathically. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/8 "2008-11-19T19:01:50Z")
There was a Barney movie with a similar plot, except the egg didn’t hatch until the end. Me? I’d figure out who’d give me the most money for it and cash in. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/9 "2008-11-19T19:05:39Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > There was a Barney movie with a similar plot, except the egg didn’t hatch until the end. > > Me? I’d figure out who’d give me the most money for it and cash in. 1- Egg 2- ??? 3- Profit Elaborate on 2, please. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/10 "2008-11-19T19:06:47Z")
> [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](#): > > Considering I wouldn’t let him keep the fiddler crabs (they skittered every time I walked into his room) or the billion-legged caterpillar thing he brought home, I’d probably send the dragon back, too. Unless it starts talking to him telepathically. Send it back, where? Are you trusting a child to dispose of a live dragon? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/11 "2008-11-19T19:09:15Z")
I wonder if it would be edible. Not knowing I’d donate it to science. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/12 "2008-11-19T19:18:31Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > 1- Egg > 2- ??? > 3- Profit > > Elaborate on 2, please. Alert the media, then sit back and wait for the offers to roll in. Or something. Excuse me for not having a concrete plan for when my kid brings home a dragon egg… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/13 "2008-11-19T19:33:52Z")
I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. Bad! Bad Squishy! ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/14 "2008-11-19T19:35:52Z")
> [@Omegaman](#): > > I wonder if it would be edible. Not knowing I’d donate it to science. Who do you call? The National Institute of Dragonology? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/15 "2008-11-19T19:36:56Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > Alert the media, then sit back and wait for the offers to roll in. Or something. Excuse me for not having a concrete plan for when my kid brings home a dragon egg… 😃 Well you should! Dragon Eggs are like Flood Damage, nobody thinks it will happen to them. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/16 "2008-11-19T19:57:09Z")
Well, come to think of it, I guess I would call up Lloyd’s of London to insure it and hire Chuck Norris to guard it until I get the funds from the sale transferred to my Swiss bank account. Maybe get {insert name of reknowned herpetologist} to help me figure out what to feed it and what to do with it’s excretions (maybe I could sell them, too). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/17 "2008-11-19T20:05:55Z")
…oh, and maybe hire Galen Bradwarden, in case Momma comes looking for it… (no, I’m not that much of a mom’s basement-dweller; I had to look it up) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/18 "2008-11-19T20:35:56Z")
I’d start brushing up on my knowledge of science and mathematics, if you catch my drift. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/19 "2008-11-19T21:15:38Z")
Feed it fast and hope you Impress it. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484/20 "2008-11-19T21:20:32Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Feed it fast and hope you Impress it. You win the thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-kid-came-home-with-a-baby-dragon/473484.md?page=2)