# If your SO says they want to buy something, do you ask how much it costs? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2024, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155 "2024-03-21T18:35:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/41 "2024-03-23T17:16:00Z")
We safely sparred All punches were above the belt! He paid for the car I drive. The fambly outback. I offered he could drive that car now and we’d shop for New “sporty fun” car for me and I’d pay for it. I would spend a lot less than him nd be perfectly happy driving it too. He got two hundred miles on the bike in Jan-Feb! In Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2024, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/42 "2024-03-23T23:25:27Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Neither of us asks, but the buyer always offers the info if it’s above some arbitrary threshold that appears to be an emergent phenomenon that we never discussed. This was how my late wife and I always worked. The nebulous threshold amount evolved as our overall financial position did. Then again, we were so joined at the hip that the idea of even thinking about purchasing something without the other being involved from concept to completion itself feels foreign to me. The “Honey, I just bought a [whatever]. Surprise!” just rings unrealistic to me for anything more impactful than a sandwich. Unless it was a gift for the other; those we tried to make surprises. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/43 "2024-03-25T11:04:34Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > I always ask, she always complains. Between gambling and her gold/jewelry habit we would be broke in about 3 weeks. AHH!! I got coffee up my nose! 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2024, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/44 "2024-03-25T12:18:58Z")
My husband has left managing the household budget to me for the last 40 years. He has no idea how much money we have, when it comes in or goes out, or even what everyday things cost. Honestly, I don’t think he has any idea what gas is per gallon. We discuss big purchases and he’ll often tell me about smaller amounts he spends. I get alerts if there are VISA charges over $20 - not because I don’t trust him, but because we’ve had far too many instances of our cards being compromised. It drives him crazy if I ask “Did you spend $XX on Website YY?” even tho he understands why I ask. These days, it seems like the only time I actually say “How much is that?” is when he’s reading yacht listings to me. He loves looking as luxury yachts, and gets a kick out of saying “It’s only $1.3 million!!” Anyway, we talked about buying a car, but not about the sheet of marine plywood he needed for a project our our non-luxury yacht ($197 for plywood???) Mainly, I need to know what he’s spending so I can plan for the next VISA bill. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/45 "2024-03-26T11:30:57Z")
Thinking about it, we don’t much ask each other such things. Mostly because we will def discuss such purchases and the buyer will always volunteer the price. Usually with the intent of impressing what a great price they got! I rarely ask, ‘Should I buy it?, when I’m wavering, because hubs is a, ‘Buy it, just buy it!’ Guy. No matter what the article is! When we are travelling he will buy anything I take a fancy to, no matter how difficult to carry or ship. Our house is littered with things that make people say, ‘How’d you get THAT home?’ The boy loves a challenge. And while I called him all kinds of names at the time, and went hoarse trying to reason with him often…these items make me smile when I see them, and laugh when I remember the efforts he made to get them home. Large stone objects, delicate ceramics, all in the same bag! And never complain, when I’d ask, ‘still loving that heavy rock, dinner plate sized mortar and pestle you bought, now?’, always a, ‘yep, totally!’ ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2024, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/46 "2024-03-26T18:13:51Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > These days, it seems like the only time I actually say “How much is that?” is when he’s reading yacht listings to me. He loves looking as luxury yachts, and gets a kick out of saying “It’s only $1.3 million!!” Hah - we will sometimes look at big ticket stuff and wave our hands and announce “No problem, lemme check under the couch cushions” or something along those lines. We’d absolutely discuss a new car. A friend of mine surprised her husband with a new car on his birthday. It was something they’d talked about, but had no immediate plans to do (and it wasn’t an insane vehicle, a Honda Pilot I think). No way would I do that. When we needed a new dishwasher, I just went ahead and bought it. I’m pretty sure I told my husband what I was spending, but he knew I wasn’t gonna do anything foolish. When I ordered new hardwood flooring last year, I didn’t tell him the cost (and it was more than I’d anticipated, to be fair); we had the money to pay for it, and it was a necessary investment. But as noted upthread, we don’t tend to spend much money on really frivolous stuff. Back when I was still working in an office that required professional attire (suits etc.) he didn’t bat an eye when he was with me as I shopped and dropped something like 1200 bucks on several new suits etc. These days, I don’t spend that in an entire year on all my clothing! ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2024, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155/47 "2024-03-29T14:27:34Z")
Clothes, shoes food, books, nope. Anything over a few hundred, such as guitars, phones, computers, will be discussed before purchase. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-so-says-they-want-to-buy-something-do-you-ask-how-much-it-costs/999155.md?page=2)