# If your spouse had to cheat on you... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828 "2015-05-25T21:41:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/1 "2015-05-25T21:41:18Z")
So you’re in a Nazi death-camp, and the only way to get ou tis if your spouse/ significant other sleeps with one of the guards. Would you rather the guard was Brad Pitt/Scarlett Johansson; or Dick Cheney/Roseanne Barr? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/2 "2015-05-25T23:08:39Z")
She’s my spouse. If she has to have sex with somebody else for whatever hypothetical reason, I’d want her to enjoy the experience. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/3 "2015-05-25T23:09:27Z")
I blame myself for this. Sorry, everybody. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/4 "2015-05-25T23:21:21Z")
I’d rather my wife sleep with Scarlett Johansson. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/5 "2015-05-26T00:19:00Z")
No preference; hence no vote? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/6 "2015-05-26T00:21:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I blame myself for this. Sorry, everybody. You can make it up to us with heaps of Ferraro Rocher chocolates. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/7 "2015-05-26T00:34:27Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’d rather my wife sleep with Scarlett Johansson. +1 ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/8 "2015-05-26T00:52:42Z")
> [@desertmonk](#): > > +1 LOL. However, that’s cheating. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/9 "2015-05-26T00:53:43Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > No preference; hence no vote? Really, no preference? Ask your wife if whe has one…? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/10 "2015-05-26T02:56:49Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > LOL. However, that’s cheating. (giggle) Depends on your relationship-rules. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/11 "2015-05-26T03:17:17Z")
What if we’re Nazi Death Camp role-playing, and I’m pretending to be Dick Cheney as a Nazi guard and the wife is pretending to be Scarlett Johansson captured during a USO tour? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/12 "2015-05-26T03:25:08Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > So you’re in a Nazi death-camp, and the only way to get ou tis if your spouse/ significant other sleeps with one of the guards. > > Would you rather the guard was Brad Pitt/Scarlett Johansson; or Dick Cheney/Roseanne Barr? Depends. Is she conscious or unconscious? ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/13 "2015-05-26T04:06:04Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Depends. Is she conscious or unconscious? Scarlett, or your SO? ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/14 "2015-05-26T04:11:39Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > What if we’re Nazi Death Camp role-playing, and I’m pretending to be Dick Cheney as a Nazi guard and the wife is pretending to be Scarlett Johansson captured during a USO tour? Then it sounds like you’re having a lot more fun than I am. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/15 "2015-05-26T04:14:48Z")
I’d rather the guard be whomever my husband would prefer to have sex with. I would expect it to be Johansson, but if he’d rather boink Barr, then that’s fine. He likes voluptuous women and isn’t terribly ageist, so neither choice would really shock me. So since your hypothetical doesn’t say I have to pick, it’s his choice. I would only hope he wouldn’t pick Barr _because_ he thinks I think she’s nasty and therefore wouldn’t be hurt; I’m pretty sure he knows me (and my admiration of Roseanne) better than that. If he’s going to have sex with someone else, I’d rather he enjoy it. But if he wants me to have sex with Cheney, then I’m afraid he’s going to be disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/16 "2015-05-26T10:14:37Z")
You’re assuming that everyone finds Brad Pitt more desirable than Dick Cheney, and Scarlett Johansson more desirable than Roseanne Barr. Not necessarily true. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/17 "2015-05-26T11:06:30Z")
This isn’t cheating because ‘all’s fair in love & war’. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/18 "2015-05-26T11:21:39Z")
_NVM, misread OP_ ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/19 "2015-05-26T11:23:33Z")
Agreed with **quicksilver**. In fact, though the OP is a little vague, it might be that what is being described amounts to rape–sex under duress. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/20 "2015-05-26T11:41:40Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Agreed with **quicksilver**. In fact, though the OP is a little vague, it might be that what is being described amounts to rape–sex under duress. Exactly. A simple explanation of the legalities of the situation to the camp commandant should straighten everything out. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828.md?page=2)