# If your spouse had to cheat on you... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828 "2015-05-25T21:41:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/21 "2015-05-26T11:42:47Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’d rather my wife sleep with Scarlett Johansson. Me, too. W/pics. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/22 "2015-05-26T17:07:57Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’d rather the guard be whomever my husband would prefer to have sex with. I would expect it to be Johansson, but if he’d rather boink Barr, then that’s fine. He likes voluptuous women and isn’t terribly ageist, so neither choice would really shock me. So since your hypothetical doesn’t say I have to pick, it’s his choice. I would only hope he wouldn’t pick Barr _because_ he thinks I think she’s nasty and therefore wouldn’t be hurt; I’m pretty sure he knows me (and my admiration of Roseanne) better than that. If he’s going to have sex with someone else, I’d rather he enjoy it. > > But if he wants me to have sex with Cheney, then I’m afraid he’s going to be disappointed. Now, you realize, in the hypothetical, you both die, right…? (Poor Cheney). > [@](#): > > “You must eider haff sex wit me or die!” > > “I choose death.” > > (Pan to sad-faced Dick Cheney) It doesn’t have to be Rosanne, specifically. Just the female version of Cheney. If you’re willing him choose, though, I think that answers the question. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/23 "2015-05-26T17:40:18Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > LOL. However, that’s cheating. _looks at thread title_ … and? ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/24 "2015-05-26T17:43:20Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > You’re assuming that everyone finds Brad Pitt more desirable than Dick Cheney, and Scarlett Johansson more desirable than Roseanne Barr. Not necessarily true. No. It’s just more fun to use real names than “hypothetical unattractive person”. If you find Dick or Roseanne attractive (or Brad and Scarlett ugly), you use any name if you want. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/25 "2015-05-26T17:50:46Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > _looks at thread title_ … and? Sorry… meant sending your wife to Scarlett was cheating… not “infidelity,” but cheating on the rules of the game. Certainly taking pictures of it is cheating. The Nazis are not going to let you have a camera. Also, meant to quote the post, but accidently quoted the post that quoted it. Again, sorry for the confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/26 "2015-05-26T17:53:26Z")
I’m not even gay and I’ll have sex with Brad, so I’l let my wife do whatever she wants ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/27 "2015-05-26T17:55:10Z")
Cheney doesn’t deserve it. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/28 "2015-05-26T18:01:43Z")
Scarlett/Brad. Might as well be a good experience… ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/29 "2015-05-26T18:41:27Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > She’s my spouse. If she has to have sex with somebody else for whatever hypothetical reason, I’d want her to enjoy the experience. +1. And I’d hope to God that if the tables were turned, my wife would choose the same thing. Roseanne? \. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/30 "2015-05-26T18:59:25Z")
> [@bump](#): > > +1. And I’d hope to God that if the tables were turned, my wife would choose the same thing. Roseanne? \. So far, IRL, my wife’s the only one who’s forced me on Roseanne. (Forced Roseanne on me?) I think I’ll get her back by saying I’ll let us both die. (Knowing her, though, that won’t change her mind.:)) It’s interesting the poll has more people making the “ugly” choice. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/31 "2015-05-26T21:47:09Z")
Substituting Brad Pitt for any of the men my wife knows she has a hypothetical hall pass for (e.g. Tom Hiddleston), I would go with that option. Might as well make it the best day of her life in every possible way, and if Tom happens not to really bring it in the boudoir, I come off looking even better. ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/32 "2015-05-26T23:35:52Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Substituting Brad Pitt for any of the men my wife knows she has a hypothetical hall pass for (e.g. Tom Hiddleston), I would go with that option. Might as well make it the best day of her life in every possible way, and if Tom happens not to really bring it in the boudoir, I come off looking even better. Hmm. Might make a good thread: “How many ‘hall passes’ does your spouse have?” ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/33 "2015-05-27T00:30:12Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Exactly. A simple explanation of the legalities of the situation to the camp commandant should straighten everything out. Huh? I was just saying it’s not quite right to title the thread 'if your spouse had to cheat on you." More accurate (but much less fun to think about) would be “if your spouse had to be raped…” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2015, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828/34 "2015-06-28T04:22:12Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > …Huh?.. Don’t ask me…I just re-read my post, and I can’t even imagine what I was thinking, and, I most definitely cannot make heads nor tails of what it means… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-spouse-had-to-cheat-on-you/720828.md?page=1)