# If your wife or SO told she had fellated a male stripper is that a deal breaker? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633 "2008-10-12T21:23:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/41 "2008-10-13T18:43:56Z")
Contrary to popular belief, it _is_ still cheating if you pay for it. IMO ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/42 "2008-10-13T18:54:34Z")
To the folks who say no way to limited head, how about if they grab the guys prick and jerk if for a minute? Is that the same level of no-no too? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/43 "2008-10-13T19:01:04Z")
Definitely a deal breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/44 "2008-10-13T19:01:58Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > To the folks who say no way to limited head, how about if they grab the guys prick and jerk if for a minute? Is that the same level of no-no too? Yep. With the same caveat of pre-negotiation. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/45 "2008-10-13T20:12:27Z")
> [@astro](#): > > #29 Today, 12:21 AM > > [Now you can!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjHWexWlKtk) I must admire that woman’s athleticism. Why does she not have shoulders like the Hulk? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/46 "2008-10-13T20:40:43Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Yes and that was all I was trying to say; in the few utube thingies I’ve seen of this, the guy is pretty heavily coated with whipped cream (or something, whatever) and the actual mouth to genital contact is very limited. The woman providing the contact is usually giggling and all disbelieving at her own daring. The other women in the pictures are pointing and giggling; trying to work up the nerve to give it a shot themselves. It’s a virtualy meaningless situation so why get all worked up about it? This pretty much describes it. Yeah, they ‘get away’ with more in the main room than male patrons would, but it usually doesn’t lead to anyone getting off. Now, if she went to a back room with him and he pressed his hard cock against her clothed crotch 'til she came – that’s what I’d consider the equivalent of the link in the OP. Especially since the acquiescent fiance is probably expecting a scenario more like the one above (cheesy stripper, penis pasta, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/47 "2008-10-13T21:23:13Z")
Bachelorette party: I’d probably be fine with it if a little annoyed. I’d probably give her shit every time she refused to give me a blow job though (just for grins, of course). Regular every day girls night out: I’d probably be slightly more annoyed and would question her impulse control. It’s probably not a deal breaker but I’d definitely be pissy for a few days. ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/48 "2008-10-13T23:19:07Z")
Single guy here, but chiming in with my responses nonetheless. If it was my (hypothetical) wife, there would have to be some serious discussions. If it was a girlfriend who I hadn’t tied the knot with, I’d probably guilt trip her into giving me lots of blowjobs for a few days/weeks, then call the whole thing off and break up with her. ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/49 "2008-10-14T05:28:26Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Per the [URL=“[My Husband is at a Strip Club and I Can't Stop Crying - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=487482)”] > The closest analogy to what he did is a woman sucking a male strippers penis at all male shows, . Dude, I’m not sure you know what analogy means, because some loser cumming down his shorts when a nipple grazes his face is not the same as sucking a dick in any universe. ---
**Author:** ![greatshakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@greatshakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greatshakes)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/50 "2008-10-14T06:48:44Z")
> [@hobscrk777](#): > > Single guy here, but chiming in with my responses nonetheless. > If it was a girlfriend who I hadn’t tied the knot with, I’d probably guilt trip her into giving me lots of blowjobs for a few days/weeks, then call the whole thing off and break up with her. You are my new hero. greatshakes ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/51 "2008-10-14T07:58:46Z")
> [@cainxinth](#): > > Dude, I’m not sure you know what analogy means, because some loser cumming down his shorts when a nipple grazes his face is not the same as sucking a dick in any universe. I heartily second this. I don’t agree that the two are in any way equivalent. For myself I’m not sure I’d be all that bothered, but then I’m not a big one for exclusivity. ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/52 "2008-10-14T12:18:54Z")
I’d laugh and ask my SO to show me what she did, not just tell me about it. Thats drunken night out with the girls cheating right there, not show up on the doorstep with divorce papers and a new fiance cheating. The second is bad. The first is meaningless fun. ---
**Author:** ![Spezza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/53 "2008-10-14T20:33:34Z")
I am wondering why more people aren’t commenting on the obvious double-standard implicit in the OP. “The closest analogy…” What?! How on earth does man sucking on nipple equate to woman sucking on cock?! The closest analogy is nipple : nipple. So why is that so casually passed over? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/54 "2008-10-14T20:39:23Z")
How is this even a valid question? I can’t imagine a scenario in which this wouldn’t be a deal breaker. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/55 "2008-10-14T20:41:31Z")
I’m getting a little fatigued of all these “Is it a deal breaker” threads. Why not just have one asking “If your SO was a total moron, would that be a deal breaker?” ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/56 "2008-10-14T20:55:03Z")
I get as many blow jobs as I want, so maybe I wouldn’t freak out about it. My girl is crazy about me, loves the oral, and I wouldn’t be upset at all. Or course, she has no problems with a MFF threesome either, and although it’s not the same thing, a random blow job she told me about and was obviously not someone she cared for or wanted to be in a relationship with, would not bother me. ---
**Author:** ![WreckingCrew](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wreckingcrew/32/4080_2.png) [@WreckingCrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WreckingCrew)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/57 "2008-10-14T20:57:40Z")
Just as an FYI, since several people have commented on it, here in RI there is definitely more than just dancing going on at the strip clubs. The current law on the books here makes public solicitation against the law, but paying for sex is not. It is a loophole successfully used by a defense attorney a few years ago, and upheld in court. Thus, what two consenting adults agree to do behind closed doors is OK. As you might imagine, this has led to quite a change in the activities at the strip clubs, and a number of “massage parlors” have also opened up - though those a careful to advertise only body rubs since they don’t have massage licenses. I’m afraid I don’t have any first hand accounts to offer, only what I read in the papers. ---
**Author:** ![kdeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@kdeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kdeus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/58 "2008-10-15T01:57:28Z")
We’d work it out, lots of crying and apologizing, hugging and forgiving, everything would be fine until she had to go to work the next day… [Clerks] “Try not to suck any dicks on your way out!” [/Clerks] And then SHE’d divorce ME. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/59 "2008-10-16T13:00:07Z")
So can anyone help me find out if there are any agencies/clubs looking for ugly men with small dicks to entertain female audiences? Its er for a friend, honest. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633/60 "2008-10-16T18:51:32Z")
Single male here. Deal-breaker. I’d rather she had a full-blown high-drama affair. Cheating to fulfill some deep unfulfilled emotional need is one thing, but if you’re willing to break vows and put your relationship on the line for nothing more than Susie triple-dog dared you to, then there’s not much of a relationship there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-your-wife-or-so-told-she-had-fellated-a-male-stripper-is-that-a-deal-breaker/467633.md?page=4)