# If you're going to fight me, you better come strong **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298 "2014-10-03T19:14:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/1 "2014-10-03T19:14:33Z")
Listen, bro. You wanna throw down? Choose your weapon, but choose wisely, because if you don’t vanquish me, I will slay you and your descendants to the 40th generation. Now, choose your damn weapon already. And make it special. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/2 "2014-10-03T19:19:47Z")
Stormbringer for up close work, otherwise any number of planet destroyer weapons at range. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/3 "2014-10-03T19:22:53Z")
_Lays down a card_ Enchanted Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/4 "2014-10-03T19:24:42Z")
_Two_ cans of beans. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/5 "2014-10-03T19:25:37Z")
Double headed, 18" ice blue jelly dong. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/6 "2014-10-03T19:32:46Z")
Rio, by Duran Duran ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/7 "2014-10-03T19:46:57Z")
I come at you unwashed and peeling my scrotum from my leg for close combat. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/8 "2014-10-03T19:50:25Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > I come at you unwashed and peeling my scrotum from my leg for close combat. Unnerving username and post combo. For the OP, I destroy you, sir, with the power of my mind. Hah! I am invincible! ---
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/9 "2014-10-03T19:50:35Z")
My hands are registered with the government as deadly weapons. I would use them to steer my car into you while you were wandering around the mall parking lot trying to remember where you parked. ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/10 "2014-10-03T19:53:34Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Unnerving username and post combo. > For the OP, I destroy you, sir, with the power of my mind. Hah! I am invincible! The power of your mind has no power over the mindless! and you made me laugh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/11 "2014-10-03T20:04:03Z")
> [@buckgully](#): > > My hands are registered with the government as deadly weapons. > > I would use them to steer my car into you… I steer my **cat** into you … ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/12 "2014-10-03T20:16:15Z")
Tosses at you coupons to the worst Italian restaurant on the planet. _Cue Chef with Ladel_ **"The Power of Ragu _Repels You…!_"** ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/13 "2014-10-03T20:20:20Z")
I’ll launch a filthy Internet smear campaign wherein I imply to every teenage girl on the planet that you’re best friends with all the members of One Direction and would be happy to arrange a personal meeting with them, with the specific instructions that your repeated denials are merely a reflection of your admirable modesty. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/14 "2014-10-03T20:31:56Z")
I’m an intergalactic gladiator and I have numerous ways to combat my opponent. Fortunately though, I am a lover and not a fighter. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/15 "2014-10-03T20:54:44Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > I come at you unwashed and peeling my scrotum from my leg for close combat. I simply can’t read this without snorting and thinking “now, where the heck did _this_ come from?!” Seriously, is this some quote or something? It’s hilarious, but kinda freakin’ me out 😉 As for me, a blues guitar at the crossroads at midnight. I’ve got a killer old Gibson that would win me that cutting contest. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/16 "2014-10-03T20:57:52Z")
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape You don’t spit into the wind You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger And you don’t mess around with Jim ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/17 "2014-10-03T20:58:06Z")
I will use my Stepmother Voice on you. And The Look. You will crawl whimpering away after that. ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/18 "2014-10-03T21:07:32Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > I simply can’t read this without snorting and thinking “now, where the heck did _this_ come from?!” Seriously, is this some quote or something? It’s hilarious, but kinda freakin’ me out 😉 > > As for me, a blues guitar at the crossroads at midnight. I’ve got a killer old Gibson that would win me that cutting contest. Extended time in the field with long long hours. Water is for drinking. I start twirlin my hips…GO GO HELICOPTER SCROTUM!!! MWUHAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/19 "2014-10-03T21:14:24Z")
I have Photoshop. And I’m not afraid to use it. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/20 "2014-10-03T21:37:14Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > Extended time in the field with long long hours. Water is for drinking. > > I start twirlin my hips…GO GO HELICOPTER SCROTUM!!! MWUHAHAHA! Okay, yeah - totally freaked out. A visual I _really_ didn’t need. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298.md?page=2)