# If you're going to fight me, you better come strong **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298 "2014-10-03T19:14:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/21 "2014-10-03T21:44:56Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Okay, yeah - totally freaked out. A visual I _really_ didn’t need. > > 😃 Hey, speak for yourself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/22 "2014-10-03T21:46:41Z")
What? :dubious: No, “I fart in your general direction!” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/23 "2014-10-03T22:02:42Z")
I attacked you with a time machine. Five years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/24 "2014-10-03T22:51:36Z")
Oh, very well. I will just order up something from ACME and get back to you. _wanders off to peruse the ACME catalog_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/25 "2014-10-03T23:11:00Z")
How about the power… to move you? _guitar riff_ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/26 "2014-10-03T23:16:40Z")
I will tell you about my day at work and bore you to death within five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/27 "2014-10-04T00:25:34Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > What? :dubious: No, “I fart in your general direction!” 🙂 I’m sure it’s coming… Spiderman used two cans of beans further up the thread there… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/28 "2014-10-04T00:34:46Z")
I have this one covered. I have a Jello filled moat surrounding my house carefully covered with styrofoam that looks just like grass. As soon as you step on it, you fall straight and get all disoriented. That is when the lights come on, the music starts and I whip off my clothes to reveal my wrestling costume (with a cape and gold jockstrap BTW). I will dive straight in and beat that ass in ways that you may find strangely erotic. I have never lost one of these contests, but, even if I did, I still win. That is the beauty of it. Producers will be on hand after the match for you to sign waivers for the footage to be broadcast nationwide. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/29 "2014-10-04T00:39:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > How about the power… to move you? > > _guitar riff_ It’s nice but it won’t kill a yak. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/30 "2014-10-04T01:00:34Z")
I’ll hurt your self=-esteem; I’ll hurt it real bad. ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/31 "2014-10-04T01:01:13Z")
An old Hindi legend, a Monk in his cave meditating and about to attain Samadhi was attacked by a bandit who mercilessly cut the Monk’s head off. However, instead of blood the terrible Goddess Kali flew up out of the monk’s neck, killed the bandit and proceeded to lay waste the country for miles about. So be careful, maybe I’m not sleeping… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/32 "2014-10-04T01:02:37Z")
I’m still standing, brohams! What, you drunk or something? Your momma make you promise not to get your big-boy pants dirty? I don’t know what your problem is, but it’s time to step outside. How you plan to stop me now that I plan to straight-up slay the next 40 generations of your family? Hell, you wanna make it 80? Choose your weapon, Francis! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/33 "2014-10-04T01:31:25Z")
Well, the Super Turbo Mega thing I want is not eligible for ACME Prime shipping so … I might have to get really mean. _prepares the jacuzzi_ ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/34 "2014-10-04T02:27:02Z")
The [Orgazmorator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcA-SJlD2-Y) (NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/35 "2014-10-04T02:31:22Z")
I argue logic paradoxes until you suffer a Godel Theorem mind crash: “Umm… if you slay me, _what_ 40 generations of descendants?” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/36 "2014-10-04T03:00:27Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > _prepares the jacuzzi_ You zonofabeech. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/37 "2014-10-04T03:04:06Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > You zonofabeech. Sorry, I guess that was really shitty of me. ---
**Author:** ![Boogly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/38 "2014-10-04T03:35:28Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Well, the Super Turbo Mega thing I want is not eligible for ACME Prime shipping so … I might have to get really mean. I can helicopter some stuff for ya… ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/39 "2014-10-04T03:39:49Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > I can helicopter some stuff for ya… I don’t think that will be necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/40 "2014-10-04T03:57:07Z")
Theremin duel at dawn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298.md?page=3)