# If you're going to fight me, you better come strong **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 3, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298 "2014-10-03T19:14:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/41 "2014-10-04T04:18:31Z")
Puff the Magic Dragon > **[Douglas AC-47 Spooky](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_AC-47_Spooky)** > > The Douglas AC-47 Spooky (also nicknamed "Puff, the Magic Dragon") was the first in a series of fixed-wing gunships developed by the United States Air Force during the Vietnam War. It was designed to provide more firepower than light and medium ground-attack aircraft in certain situations when ground forces called for close air support. > The AC-47 was a United States Air Force (USAF) C-47, (the military version of the DC-3) that had been modified by mounting three 7.62 mm General Electric minigu... Most awesome weapons platform of all time. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/42 "2014-10-04T04:58:47Z")
I will use the power of [hoodoo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW792V3oWI8) . And I’m about to get weird. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/43 "2014-10-04T06:47:36Z")
Hoodoo? Hoodoo you think you’re foolin’? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/44 "2014-10-04T06:59:15Z")
I fart in your general direction! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/45 "2014-10-04T11:25:42Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > What? :dubious: No, “I fart in your general direction!” 🙂 > [@cochrane](#): > > I fart in your general direction! Hmmmm… So I’m on your Ignore List? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/46 "2014-10-04T12:52:13Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Hoodoo? Hoodoo you think you’re foolin’? You remind me of a man . . . ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/47 "2014-10-04T22:31:24Z")
I’ll talk about you anonymously on the Internet and make a twitter channel. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/48 "2014-10-06T19:44:40Z")
I will kiss you full on the lips. You can’t fight that feeling, in fact you will fight no more! ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/49 "2014-10-06T20:10:48Z")
_Dances around with balled fists, alternating cowering and flailing_ Swing first, bro! Quit playin’! Beat your ass, that’s right. _Sweats_ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/50 "2014-10-06T20:45:04Z")
Garlic breath at 17 inches will [render you](http://beyondthemarquee.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Raiders-of-the-lost-ark-melting-face.jpg) inoperable. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/51 "2014-10-06T21:30:06Z")
I will swear at you in Esperanto. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/52 "2014-10-06T22:54:43Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > i fart in your general direction! you. . .shall not. . .gas!!! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/53 "2014-10-06T23:02:48Z")
My girlfriend. She will fuck you up, and you will never realize where it came from. Then we can commiserate together. ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/54 "2014-10-06T23:13:52Z")
_sigh_ he had such promise \ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/55 "2014-10-06T23:48:15Z")
> [@Precambrianmollusc](#): > > _sigh_ > he had such promise > > \ Do the sharks have frickin’ laser beams on their heads? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/56 "2014-10-07T00:05:02Z")
1 large paper clip 8 strands of human hair 26" long distributor points from a 1972 Ford Pinto a UHF TV tuner from a 1968 25" Magnavox console TV 4 batteries, any size If you don’t piss me off you can eliminate any one item but you can’t change your mind. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/57 "2014-10-07T00:12:54Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > _Two_ cans of beans. A flatulence platter. Bean salad with chilli and garlic, Hard boiled eggs, pickled onions, Kabana and some sauerkraut. I completely disregard the UN conventions against chemical weapons. Boogly, I may require the assistance of your helicoptering to ensure that the noxious gasses don’t spread. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/58 "2014-10-07T00:22:32Z")
A Possible Sword: > [@](#): > > Probability theory is at the very heart of the Possible Sword. > > _There is a crack, like static, and a hum in the air. Bellis cannot see Doul’s right arm clearly. It seems to shimmer, to vibrate. It is unstuck in time. Doul moves (dancing) and turns to face his attackers . . . His sword blossoms. It is fecund, it is brimming, it sheds echoes. Doul has a thousand right arms, slicing in a thousand directions . . . A hundred blades block every attack his enemies make, and countless more retaliate brutally. (p. 579/580)_ > > With the Possible Sword, Uther Doul mines probability. When he swings the blade, it delivers every single strike it is possible for the sword to make, with Doul being able to chose the one most deadly to his opponent. In other words, Doul can land a fatal strike every single time he swings the sword – regardless of the skill of his opponent. Via this method, Doul can – and does – take on multiple enemies at once and reduces them to a pile of mincemeat in seconds. It’s terrifying. > > _The men before him are carved and lacerated with a palimpsest of monstrous wounds. Doul strikes, and blood and screams welter up from around him in unbelievable gouts . . . He moves past the men who have boarded his ship, and sends up a mist of their blood, leaving them dying, limbs and body parts skittering over the deck. His armour is red. (p.580)_ - \*\*The Scar (China Miéville) \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/59 "2014-10-07T00:24:44Z")
I cooperate with you 100 per cent, thereby epitomizing the zen \*If only one person is fighting, there is no actual conflict. \*I reinforce this by leaving.🆒 –G! (BTW: I have no descendants – that I’m aware of…):smack: ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298/60 "2014-10-07T00:24:50Z")
You’re the Grouchy Ladybug, aren’t you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-to-fight-me-you-better-come-strong/700298.md?page=4)