# If you're going up my butt, at least introduce yourself...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 10, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673 "2003-09-10T03:06:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)
#### Post date: [September 10, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673/1 "2003-09-10T03:06:51Z")
Damn…
I mean, DAMN!
Math problem A: You own a truck. You want to be first at the red light. You leave your house at 8 am, heading west at 600 miles per hour. What do you do? 😕
Answer: You drive up my BUTT to get there!
**HELLO!**
I’m there, too, man. I’m the driver of that mid-sized, teal car that you wanna run down, oh, so badly! WAKE UP!! Jerk! Yeah, you! JERK! Slow the F down, dude!
( **warning** stereotypical comment coming):
Truck F\*\*ks (my cool-ass term for such irritating truck owners, aren’t I cool?) annoy me! Where is it written that you, a truck driver MUST:
A. Be an ASS! :mad:
B. Run cars off the road. :dubious:
C. Drive up my butt to get to the red light/railroad crossing/ four-way stop/two-way stop/freeway entrance/freeway exit!
D. Use your vehicle to manhandle others as an excuse for a small penis/empty head.
E. Switch lanes with excessive speed and without signalling!!
F. Practically clip my car during ANY of these maneuvers!
G. Try to kill me without even looking! :wally
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### Author:  [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)
#### Post date: [September 10, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673/2 "2003-09-10T03:17:30Z")
Is it really that hard to understand that some posts belong in the Pit?
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [September 10, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673/3 "2003-09-10T03:23:26Z")
Ahh the White Van Man.
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### Author:  [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)
#### Post date: [September 10, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673/4 "2003-09-10T03:24:54Z")
Hi, I am the 'Beast…
Ready, now?
😃
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [September 10, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-going-up-my-butt-at-least-introduce-yourself/200673/5 "2003-09-10T03:26:14Z")
Sometimes I feel sorry for truck drivers. Like the other day when one was trying to turn into a main road, and some mentalist in a car decided to turn into the road that the truck was turning out of, and then stop, due to the truck being in the way (thus filling the space the truck needs to turn), causing deadlock.
But only sometimes.