# " If You're Gonna Ride My Ass... " **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 15, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502 "2017-04-15T14:33:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/1 "2017-04-15T14:33:36Z")
" …at least pull my hair!" What sort of person would put that bumper sticker on their car? Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/2 "2017-04-15T14:38:03Z")
Someone who could probably do the world a favor by getting the hell out of the way. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/3 "2017-04-15T14:42:12Z")
I’m wondering about the company that would make and sell such a bumper sticker.:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/4 "2017-04-15T14:45:02Z")
> [@2Bits](#): > > " …at least pull my hair!" > > What sort of person would put that bumper sticker on their car? > > Seriously. I think it’s funny. Probably not appropriate for the general public, but funny. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/5 "2017-04-15T14:45:28Z")
I imagine it’s the same type of company that sells scrotums for hanging on a trailer hitch. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/6 "2017-04-15T14:49:00Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Someone who could probably do the world a favor by getting the hell out of the way. And that’s an excuse for tailgating? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/7 "2017-04-15T14:51:19Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I imagine it’s the same type of company that sells scrotums for hanging on a trailer hitch. No, those things are an abomination unto the Lord Og. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/8 "2017-04-15T14:58:50Z")
The person who uses such a bumper sticker knows that he is in the way, has been in the way in the past, expects to currently be in the way, and has a message for other drivers about it. (And should probably just stay the hell out of the way.) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/9 "2017-04-15T15:12:38Z")
Someone who dislikes tailgaters and has no fucks left to give. ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/10 "2017-04-15T15:16:25Z")
That bumper sticker reminds me of a rearview mirror I saw for Harleys that said “Assholes in mirror are closer than they appear”. Gotta admit, made me chortle.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/11 "2017-04-15T15:20:49Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > The person who uses such a bumper sticker knows that he is in the way, has been in the way in the past, expects to currently be in the way, and has a message for other drivers about it. (And should probably just stay the hell out of the way.) I need a bumper sticker like that, or at least a cleaned up version of it. Even though I’m trying to stay the hell out of the way by driving (right around the speed limit) in the slow lane, some people insist on riding my bumper, even when they could easily pass me in the fast lane. And even when there’s no traffic in the fast lane. It happens all the time. So I typically move to the left for them when traffic allows, and then they invariably pass me on my right. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/12 "2017-04-15T15:26:51Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I think it’s funny. Probably not appropriate for the general public, but funny. I don’t understand the humor. Seriously, why is it funny? Is pulling someone’s hair while having sex a thing? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/13 "2017-04-15T15:31:09Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I don’t understand the humor. Seriously, why is it funny? Is pulling someone’s hair while having sex a thing? It is indeed a thing. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/14 "2017-04-15T15:44:20Z")
Somebody with a sense of humor better than 99% of the other people with clever bumper stickers. I think it’s funny as hell. My real FAQ is, What kind of a person would put ANY bumper sticker on their car? ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/15 "2017-04-15T15:45:52Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I don’t understand the humor. Seriously, why is it funny? Is pulling someone’s hair while having sex a thing? Occam’s Sexy Razor says if you wonder whether something is a sex-related thing, it is a sex-related thing. Or maybe that’s Occam’s Rule 34. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/16 "2017-04-15T16:32:12Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > Occam’s Sexy Razor says if you wonder whether something is a sex-related thing, it is a sex-related thing. Or maybe that’s Occam’s Rule 34. True enough. Never occurred to me to do it, though. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/17 "2017-04-15T16:42:49Z")
Rule 34 says that if it exists, there is an Internet porn site for it. Try googling anything with “porn” added and see what comes up. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/18 "2017-04-15T16:55:32Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Someone who dislikes tailgaters and has no fucks left to give. Bingo. If you can read this, get the fuck off my ass! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/19 "2017-04-15T17:00:06Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > The person who uses such a bumper sticker knows that he is in the way, has been in the way in the past, expects to currently be in the way, and has a message for other drivers about it. (And should probably just stay the hell out of the way.) “_You may think I’m slow, but I am in front of you_” (No apology) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502/20 "2017-04-15T18:00:46Z")
Where can I buy one? I think it’s great. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-gonna-ride-my-ass/784502.md?page=2)