# If you're hit on by a younger man... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533 "2007-07-04T22:31:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/21 "2007-07-05T02:47:15Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] My dear, maybe you just aren’t cut out for this online flirting thing. [/QUOTE] Heh. Stupid…online…not knowing genders…gah! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/22 "2007-07-05T03:08:52Z")
Due to my current marital drama, I don’t feel quite qualified to comment on this. Last week, though, I was at Anime Expo and kept running into the same cute twentysomething guy in a ninja costume (head uncovered, though). I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d actually talked to him… ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/23 "2007-07-05T05:14:27Z")
**1. Do you feel the aforementioned weird and or creepy?** No **2. Have you ever had a relationship with a younger man that went well?** My husband is 8 years younger than I **3. How about the public scrutiny? I fear being laughed at as the old bag with the young stud.** [I don’t look like an old bag](http://s189.photobucket.com/albums/z76/pitocyn/?action=view¤t=summerCyn2.jpg) at 44. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/24 "2007-07-05T06:25:11Z")
[QUOTE=Veuve\_ClicquotNJ] 3. How about the public scrutiny? I fear being laughed at as the old bag with the young stud. [/QUOTE] Would you rather be laughed at as the old bag with a young stud, or the old bag sitting by herself not having any fun? Besides, how much time do you spend scrutinizing other people’s dates? Not much, right? So don’t worry what other people are thinking about you. Odds are, they’re not. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/25 "2007-07-05T10:15:19Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Heh. Stupid…online…not knowing genders…gah! 😃 [/QUOTE] _points and laughs at **LOUNE** _ Dude, **Li’l Pluck**'s not got the highest of post counts, but he couldn’t be further out if he was walking the plank. You just ain’t been paying attention. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/26 "2007-07-05T13:03:16Z")
[QUOTE=Cyn] **1. Do you feel the aforementioned weird and or creepy?** No **2. Have you ever had a relationship with a younger man that went well?** My husband is 8 years younger than I **3. How about the public scrutiny? I fear being laughed at as the old bag with the young stud.** [I don’t look like an old bag](http://s189.photobucket.com/albums/z76/pitocyn/?action=view¤t=summerCyn2.jpg) at 44. [/QUOTE] _Howdy!_ (younger woman here, fyi) ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/27 "2007-07-05T13:18:24Z")
Well, I’ve been hit on by an eighteen-year-old when I was twenty-eight, so I guess that qualifies. **Weird and creepy?** No, not under the circumstances (both backpacking in Europe, no idea how old the other one was). If it had been one of my students, then hell yes, that would have been weird. That said, I wasn’t even vaguely, remotely tempted, even though he was English and had a cute accent, because it was obvious from the conversation that he was none too bright. **Have you ever had a relationship with a younger man that went well?** Well, I had a relationship with someone a year younger than me that went OK for a while, but I’m not sure that’s what you’re asking. And one with a guy two years younger than me that was a complete disaster. **How about the public scrutiny?** Well, I _look_ a lot younger than I am, so I don’t think there would be any unless people knew both of us very well. That said, I’m not especially tempted to hook up with someone _significantly_ younger than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/28 "2007-07-05T13:24:58Z")
Even I knew **Li’l Pluck** was gay. I haven’t been hit on by a significantly younger man in a long time. When I did, it was flattering and a bit shocking. But then this young man was very bold. No, he didn’t get anywhere. Back then I was still kind of involved in my community and it just would have made them scream. Hmm. In retrospect, perhaps I should have. When it comes to the public aspect, the truth is people are going to talk no matter what. I spent most of my teen years and a little of my 20’s worrying about that crap, since my mother worried about it so damn much. Now I’m not willing to give up a potentially happy life because of what people will say. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/29 "2007-07-05T13:30:27Z")
Anyway, the only younger guy where the age difference was enough to matter was earlier this year when I briefly dated a guy who had just turned twenty-one. I’m nearly twenty-nine, and those eight years were quite a distance in this case. I’m an adult (of sorts) and he’s a bubblehead frat boy. The attention was flattering and he was fun, but in the end, it just really wasn’t the kind of thing for me. I don’t know or care what other people thought about it, though. I prefer older men–I just don’t have enough in common with younger guys, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/30 "2007-07-05T14:13:40Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Goddammit. _kicks an empty tin can as he leaves_ [/QUOTE] Heh-heh. Dude, if it makes you feel any better, in my day (and, sadly, in my present), I’ve kicked several Wagnerian operas’ worth of empty tin cans. 🙂☹ [QUOTE=Malacandra] _points and laughs at LOUNE_ Dude, Li’l Pluck 's not got the highest of post counts, but **he couldn’t be further out if he was walking the plank**. You just ain’t been paying attention. [/QUOTE] (bolding mine) This gave me the best laugh I’ve had all day! (Yeah, I know that it’s not even noon where I am, but hey, I’m betting that it’ll be the best laugh that I do have all day.) [QUOTE=Anaamika] Even I knew Li’l Pluck was gay. [/QUOTE] ::sniff:: Aww, just when I thought that I hadn’t earned a reputation 'round these parts. No, [del]ma’am[/del] Miss ( 😃 ),not asking what \*kind \* of reputation, if it’s all the same to you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/31 "2007-07-05T14:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=Li’l Pluck] No, [del]ma’am[/del] Miss ( 😃 ) [/QUOTE] Touche, you _so_ win that one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/32 "2007-07-05T14:31:39Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Touche, you _so_ win that one. 😃 [/QUOTE] 😉 ! ::tips hat and takes his leave:: ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/33 "2007-07-05T14:42:33Z")
I’m young enough that any younger man who would be hitting on me could easily still be in high school–and I look a good 3-4 years younger than I am to boot (have since I was at least 16). Which all adds up to, I probably wouldn’t notice. This did happen to me last year, when I was hit on by a 15-year-old. He was so obviously too young for me that the thought never crossed my mind, until a friend pointed it out. I was closing in on 21, but the kid thought I was 17 at the oldest. (Would I date a younger guy? Nope–married, though without a ring yet so the ring check doesn’t work on me.) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/34 "2007-07-05T15:38:29Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] _points and laughs at **LOUNE** _ Dude, **Li’l Pluck**'s not got the highest of post counts, but he couldn’t be further out if he was walking the plank. You just ain’t been paying attention. 😛 [/QUOTE] I know…harumph. Stupid Internets. This is where I start paying attention to these things! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/35 "2007-07-05T15:40:08Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] I know…harumph. Stupid Internets. This is where I start paying attention to these things! [/QUOTE] A gender indicator is on your wish list, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/36 "2007-07-05T15:40:43Z")
[QUOTE=Li’l Pluck] Heh-heh. Dude, if it makes you feel any better, in my day (and, sadly, in my present), I’ve kicked several Wagnerian operas’ worth of empty tin cans. 🙂☹ (bolding mine) This gave me the best laugh I’ve had all day! (Yeah, I know that it’s not even noon where I am, but hey, I’m betting that it’ll be the best laugh that I do have all day.) ::sniff:: Aww, just when I thought that I hadn’t earned a reputation 'round these parts. No, [del]ma’am[/del] Miss ( 😃 ),not asking what \*kind \* of reputation, if it’s all the same to you. 😉 [/QUOTE] You’ve won this round, **Pluck**! _shakes fist_ ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/37 "2007-07-05T17:26:32Z")
I’d know they were making fun of me and I’d think and maybe even say “Fuck off”. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/38 "2007-07-05T18:52:27Z")
Do you think one reason it happens is that it does flatter the woman? “She might just be flattered enough to give me sex”, says the young man, “…and then I’ll move on.” This isn’t to say that there’s men who are normally attracted to older women. A friend from college was like this and he married a woman something like 12 years older than him. Even his dating life before that, though, was with older women. Still, if I’m just a man looking to get laid, picking out the woman with self-esteem issues is raises my percentages. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/39 "2007-07-05T19:19:53Z")
If a man is looking for an easy lay with someone lacking in self-esteem, he’s usually better off with a drunken co-ed than a woman who was playing the dating game when he was playing with Legos. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533/40 "2007-07-05T19:35:36Z")
I was hit upon by a guy who looked and acted like [Crispin Glover](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nndb.com/people/016/000023944/willard-sized.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nndb.com/people/016/000023944/&h=330&w=258&sz=27&hl=en&start=5&tbnid=5paJdHiByXzdHM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=93&prev=/images%3Fq%3DCrispin%2BGlover%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG). He was my first stalker. In some ways flattering, in others creepy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-hit-on-by-a-younger-man/410533.md?page=3)