# If you're lazy and you know it, then just sit there. If you're lazy and you know it.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592 "2003-03-27T19:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/21 "2003-03-28T08:23:43Z")
If you have a memory problem, shake your head. If your easily distracted er… uh… hmmm ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/22 "2003-03-28T08:24:59Z")
Oh! If you’re easily distracted go to bed… what? ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/23 "2003-03-28T08:49:28Z")
So posting to this thread means I’m not lazy and therefore have initiative! HELL YEAH! ```auto yOU if you;rE (ee) CUmm ings & kno wit b(E) b;a;r;=e=)(LY C{o} mpr EHEN sibl e u k if yOU''''rE e o n t e y o i cuMM sgni (a n d) w beeeee Y b/a/r=e=l comp rehen sible if yoU;Re E E & y u no wit o &youthinkyouareaPOET if you'ree.e.andyouK?N?O?W? I!T B;!E barely elbiscomprehen ``` ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/24 "2003-03-28T10:42:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*If you’re easily distracted and you know it…ooo, shiny! \*\* I think that should be “If you’re [Kiki](http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=990904) and you know it…” \ 😉 If you want to start a hijack, pick a fight! Claim that gays are all depraved, or Bush is right! If you want a thread derailed, This approach has never failed, For it’s guaranteed that some poor fool will bite! ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/25 "2003-03-28T13:53:40Z")
10 print “Are you really bad at programming?” 20 input $answer 30 print “Are you sure?” 40 input $sure 50 if ($answer = “yes”) and ($sure=“yes”) 60 for i = 1 to 3; clap (hands); next i ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/26 "2003-03-28T15:11:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*If you barery speak the ranguage, crap your hands. > If you barery speak the ranguage, crap your hands. > Then exprain why is it > That your hand is _furr of shit!_ > If you barery speak the ranguage, crap your hands. > \*\* Dude, I work for a Japanese company!! The best things I’ve ever heard the office manager _try_ to say are “bereavement leave” and “temporarily.” She just can’t do it!! You should visit [www.engrish.com](http://www.engrish.com) for some more good ones. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/27 "2003-03-28T16:28:46Z")
If you’re Zen and you know it clap one hand… ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/28 "2003-03-28T16:44:23Z")
\*\* If you’re tired of this song, why sing it? If you’re tired of this song, why sing it? If you’re tired of this song, why not move along? If you’re tired of this song, why sing it? \*\* I’m so tired of this song. Why am I still singing this? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/29 "2003-03-29T06:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Avarie537 \* > \*\*Dude, I work for a Japanese company!! > > The best things I’ve ever heard the office manager _try_ to say are “bereavement leave” and “temporarily.” She just can’t do it!! > > You should visit [www.engrish.com](http://www.engrish.com) for some more good ones. \*\* That’s a pretty funny site, **Avarie537** So if a manager rushes up to you and says “Crap!” do you applaud, or run? ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/30 "2003-03-29T06:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bearflag70 \* > \*\*That’s funny shit! I’m crackin’ up over here! We can go to hell together. 😃 \*\* I’m trying to work my way up to purgatory with a milder one: If you’re clumsy and you know it, clap your hands. But you’re clumsy and you miss by a wide span. Your arms whip around your back, Your hands tuck inside your crack. If you’re clumsy, never try to clap your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/31 "2003-03-31T05:31:46Z")
Caucasian and you know it, stamp your feet. Caucasion, please don’t blow it, keep the beat. It’s a-one, a-two, a-three And what’s next? Hmm, let me see. Ah screw it all, I think I’ll take a seat. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/32 "2003-03-31T06:35:13Z")
_If you’re a telekinetic, clap my hands! If you’re a telekinetic, clap my hands! Rake my yard, wash my car! So I don’t have to work so hard! If you’re a telekinetic, clap my hands!_ ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/33 "2003-03-31T08:21:28Z")
If you’re easily amused read this thread If you’re easily amused read this thread Clap your hands, sing out loud Come along and join the crowd If you’re easily amused read this thread ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/34 "2003-03-31T08:28:20Z")
If you’re stupid and you know it, vote for Gore Or you can elect a shrub but not a bore Two party system’s blown it We need a new opponent If you’re stupid and you know it pick a whore! ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/35 "2003-03-31T09:25:02Z")
The answers in GQ are real gems Get angry at someone go pit them Join a poll and you won’t mope Share mundane stuff with us, we hope Register and join us at Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Daftbugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Daftbugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daftbugger)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/36 "2003-03-31T15:01:34Z")
Not sure if you’ve all seen this one yet. \> To the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it” \> If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq. \> If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq. \> If the terrorists are frisky, \> Pakistan is looking shifty, \> North Korea is too risky, \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq. \> If we think someone has dissed us, bomb Iraq. \> So to hell with the inspections, \> Let’s look tough for the elections, \> Close your mind and take directions, \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> It’s “pre-emptive non-aggression”, bomb Iraq. \> Let’s prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq. \> They’ve got weapons we can’t see, \> And that’s good enough for me \> ‘Cos it’all the proof I need \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> If you never were elected, bomb Iraq. \> If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq. \> If you think Saddam’s gone mad, \> With the weapons that he had, \> (And he once p\*ssed off your dad), \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> If your corporate fraud is growin’, bomb Iraq. \> If your ties to it are showin’, bomb Iraq. \> If your politics are sleazy, \> And hiding that ain’t easy, \> And your senates getting queasy, \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq. \> For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq. \> Disagree? We’ll call it treason, \> Let’s make war not love this season, \> Even if we have no reason, \> Bomb Iraq. \> \> ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/37 "2003-03-31T20:50:18Z")
Any room in that handcart? 🙂 If you suffer from Tourette’s, clap your tits If you blow-job from Tourette’s, bum your hands If you suffer and you wank it And you really want to poo-hole If you bollocks from Tourette’s, clap your dick ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/38 "2003-03-31T20:53:22Z")
Huh - pressed ‘submit’ before I copied the rest of the ones I’ve been working on… If you’re happy and contagious, wash your hands If you’ve chills and shakes and nasty swollen glands If you’ve numbness in the head Then cheer up – you’ll soon be dead If you’re happy and contagious, wash your hands . . . If you really like equations, solve for _p_ Where _p_’s the first derivative of _t_ And _t_ (in things per hour) Is raised to some ungodly power Plus the square root of a quarter of _h c_ . . . If you’ve heard it all before, blah blah blah . . . If you’ve nearly reached your climax, cla-aa-aaahh! If you’ve – ooohh, oh yeah, baby – yeah yeah yeahh! If you – wow! That’s just so ohhh… And you really mmmm – yeah, ohhhhhh! If you omigosh yes yes oh-uh-uh-uh-uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/39 "2003-03-31T21:02:45Z")
If you want something on ebay, don’t bid now. If you want something on ebay, don’t bid now. Wait until the last minute. And then just go and snip it. If you want something on ebay, don’t bid now. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2003, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/40 "2003-04-01T23:27:08Z")
If you’re trying to do homework, don’t come here. You’ll be distracted and set into arrears. You’ll be forced to write this song, and you’ll want to sing along. But your homework is causing your eyes to tear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=3)