# If you're lazy and you know it, then just sit there. If you're lazy and you know it.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592 "2003-03-27T19:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/41 "2003-04-02T02:06:40Z")
If you’re stoned and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re stoned and you know it…do we have any chocolate ice cream? Marshmallow cream? Are there any munchies at all in the house? ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/42 "2003-04-02T02:52:08Z")
If you’re editing and you know it, use the red pen. If you’re editing and you know it, use the red pen. If mistakes in speelang grammar and are making your day rather bland If you’re editing, spice it up with the red pen. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/43 "2003-04-02T02:53:18Z")
If you’re desperate for a nap, bob your head. If you’re desperate for a nap, bob your head. You might fall asleep in class, you might fall right on your @$$, but if you’re desperate for a nap, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/44 "2003-04-02T02:55:01Z")
If you’re waiting for a friend on the computer, and they’ve not shown up–_I might have to shoot her_ I need to talk right now and she’s just not around If you’re waiting for a friend–oh, hi ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/45 "2003-04-02T05:23:20Z")
What the heck - no-one’s hassled me for poor taste yet, so you get this delightful little contribution: If you need to take a dump, clench your cheeks Your load feels like it’s been building up for weeks If you’re really ‘touching cloth’ And you’re scared to even cough If you need to take a dump, clench your cheeks N.B. This might have something to do with having recently read the ‘Ever shat your pants’ thread… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/46 "2003-04-02T06:45:44Z")
If you’re a Doper poster, realize That the smileys give you ways to criticize. If you’re scared and cannot speak You could always just say :eek: For sarcasm you could merely :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/47 "2003-04-02T19:39:58Z")
If you’re righteous and you know it, write a tract Show us how those heathen ought to be attacked If your name is Mr. Chick Lay it on us extra thick Or we might suspect the whole thing is an act ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/48 "2003-04-03T14:30:17Z")
If you’re driving on the highway, watch the road, If your phone rings and you answer, you’re a toad! If you’re talking on your cell Then you ought to go to hell Don’t be chatting while you’re driving, watch the road. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/49 "2003-04-04T07:06:39Z")
There’s some funny stuff on this thread! Here’s one that came to me after I was the last poster on several threads: If you’re Andy and you post, you kill the thread. If you’re Andy, it is toast, you kill it dead. If you don’t want to see me sad, Think of something else to add, So it won’t be Andy who has killed the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/50 "2003-04-04T14:47:00Z")
If you love me and you know it, it’s your round… ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/51 "2003-04-14T15:09:27Z")
If you start things but never finish, it’s ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/52 "2003-04-14T16:05:09Z")
If you’re obsessive and you know it wash your hands, If you’re obsessive and you know it wash them again, If you’re obsessive and you know it, Then you’ve learned how not to show it publicly, If you’re obsessive and you know it sing this over and over again. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/53 "2003-04-14T17:56:05Z")
If you’re sappy and you know it watch some PAX Won’t takelong to air some tear inducing facts If you’re sappy and you know it But can’t wait for Lifetime to show it If you’re sappy and you know it watch some PAX ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/54 "2003-04-14T18:33:15Z")
If you’re touchy and you know it have a fit If you’re touchy and you know it freakin’ flip If you’re touchy and you know it And you’re just about to blow it If you’re touchy and you know it go to The Pit If you’re horny and you know it cop a feel If you’re horny and you know it rub with zeal If you’re horney and you know it and you biblically want to know it If you’re horny and you know it and you know it cop a feel. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/55 "2003-04-14T20:09:19Z")
If you’re Flipper and you know it, clap your fins! If you’re Flipper, you most likely like to swim! If you’re Flipper and you know it, And Bumblebee should know it, So you don’t get sold as tuna, clap your fins! ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/56 "2003-04-14T22:16:26Z")
If you’re Jesus and you know it make some wine, If you’re Jesus and you know it use the word “thine,” If you’re Jesus and you know it, Your stigmata will really show it, If you’re Jesus and you know it bless this rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![somith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@somith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somith)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/57 "2003-04-14T22:20:13Z")
If you’re right and you know it, tell them so. If they don’t agree, then tell them where to go. If you argue like a giant and some n00b acts defiant, Then you really ought to show it, let them know. And, for the Sandman fans out there… If you’re Destiny, you know it, clap your hands. Unless the book says “Listen to some bands.” If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Destiny, you know it, clap your hands (or not). If you’re Death, and you know it, dress in black. If you’re Death, teenage fanboys you won’t lack. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Death, and you know it, please come back! If you’re Dream, and you know it, sulk a bit. You’re a troubled, formal, stuffy, ageless git. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Dream, and you know it, then just quit. If you’re Destruction and you know it, blow stuff up. When you grow weary of that, then give it up. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you were once Destruction, get a pup. If you’re Despair, and you know it, poke your eye. Make some random people feel like they should die. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Despair, and you know it, make me cry. If you’re Desire and you know it, you’re your house. Make a chicken want to do it with a mouse. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Desire and you know it, be a louse. If you’re Delirium don’t know it, jellyfishy. Turn someone into some frogs that will go splishy. If you’re Endless and you know it, then act your age and show it. If you’re Delirium don’t know it, ooh, shiny! ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/58 "2003-04-14T22:22:47Z")
If you’re cumming and you know it cl…cl…CL CL CLCLL OH GOD! clap. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/59 "2003-04-14T22:28:49Z")
Are you sure you want to use a sex reference and “clap” in the same sentence? ---
**Author:** ![Theios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e8c25b/32.png) [@Theios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theios)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/60 "2003-04-14T23:06:52Z")
This thread is wonderful. I’ve had a shitty week and was able to laugh out loud because of you guys. So here’s my lame addition… If your lover just walked out, Don’t be sad. If she shifts the blame to you, Don’t get mad. If herself, she must now find, And you think she’s lost her mind, If your lover just walked out, Don’t be sad. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=4)