# If you're lazy and you know it, then just sit there. If you're lazy and you know it.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592 "2003-03-27T19:44:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/61 "2003-04-15T03:22:57Z")
If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around. If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around. If you’re Godzilla and you know it, And you want Japan to know it, If you’re Godzilla and you know it, stomp around. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/62 "2003-04-15T04:08:46Z")
If you’re lonely and you know it, just whistle. If you’re dying and you know it, just whistle. For life’s a piece of shit, When you look at it. If you’re losing and you know it, just whistle. ---
**Author:** ![UES\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/76d3ee/32.png) [@UES\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UES_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/63 "2003-04-15T14:30:25Z")
If you’re Cecil Adams and you know it… …well, duh, no wonder, you’re Cecil Adams, you know _everything_. ---
**Author:** ![UES\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/76d3ee/32.png) [@UES\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UES_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/64 "2003-04-15T14:34:16Z")
**Inspired by my own brown-nosing post above…** If you worship Cecil Adams, kiss his ass If you’re seeking his approval, kiss his ass If you after his attention Or at least a passing mention Pucker up (tongue optional) and kiss his ass ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/65 "2003-04-15T15:16:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*Are you sure you want to use a sex reference and “clap” in the same sentence? \*\* I did think about that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/66 "2003-04-15T16:59:35Z")
Narcoleptic and you know it, clap your hands Narcoleptic and you know it clzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/67 "2003-04-16T00:09:21Z")
If you’re a moron and you know it, go to war, Massive tax cuts make us glad despite the gore, If your pal’s in Halliburton And the ‘conomy’s a hurtin’ Lotsa men behind that curtain, bomb the Moor! ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/68 "2003-04-16T00:24:37Z")
Huh, what the… Narcoleptic and you knozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/69 "2003-04-16T00:24:37Z")
Huh, what the… Narcoleptic and you knozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/70 "2003-04-16T01:57:04Z")
Oh my GOD I can’t breathe! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! You guys are so great. ---
**Author:** ![Mirasol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mirasol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirasol)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/71 "2003-04-16T02:14:30Z")
If you’re a hamster who likes wheels, then travel fast To the Chicago Reader’s Straight Dope Staff I need my daily fix But the boards load too slowly bit-by-bit So get in a wheel and run off your little hamster ass ---
**Author:** ![pierre72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@pierre72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pierre72)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/72 "2003-04-16T09:24:50Z")
If you’re a leper and you know it, find your hand And you haven’t got a leg on which to stand If your limbs are dropping off Every time you cough If you’re a leper and you know it, find your hand. OK. I’m sorry. Very sorry. I’m now on my way to hell. ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/73 "2003-04-16T11:04:57Z")
If you’re gardening and you know it plant a seed If you’re gardening and you know it pull a weed Take your seed outside and sow it Give it plenty of water to grow it (and every once in a while hoe it) If you’re gardening and you know it plant a seed ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/74 "2003-04-16T11:24:48Z")
If you’re boating and you know it float downstream All the while singing, “Life is but a dream” If you’re boating and you know it Get your boat to float and row it If you’re boating and you know it float downstream ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/75 "2003-04-16T11:57:49Z")
If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ If you’re a broken record and you know it, clap your ha…_skritch_ … … … ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/76 "2003-04-16T12:30:54Z")
If you’re really really stupid clap your hands. Thank you. Now go sit out in the hall and leave me alone, you moron! ---
**Author:** ![pierre72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@pierre72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pierre72)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/77 "2003-04-16T12:47:48Z")
If you’re happy and you know it then you should know that life’s a shithouse. This planet is dying, we’re all out for ourselves at the expense of our neighbour. None of us have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. If you’re happy and you know it, it must be because you are blinkered, naive, drugged or stupid. Or a combination of all four. If you’re happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, then you will merely be broadcasting to the world your idiocy, and inflicting your misguided frivolity upon someone else, as if to say “I’m alright - regardless of how you are feeling”. If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. But I hope your wrists snap you selfish bastard. (I kid 'cos I love) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sebhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@Sebhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sebhal)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/78 "2003-04-16T12:48:31Z")
Lovely weather and I’m stuck at work, how sad. Lovely weather when in shorts I should be clad! Lovely weather and I’m here How I’d love to disappear But I need to pay the mortgage: I’ve been had! ---
**Author:** ![ladydisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@ladydisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladydisco)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/79 "2003-04-16T13:07:58Z")
If you’re trolling and you know it post a rant On a topic you want to argue, but you can’t. Insult a valid poster. We’ll throw your ass in the roaster. “Don’t let the door hit your ass” is our chant. ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592/80 "2003-04-17T02:49:10Z")
If you’re naked and you know it, clap your hams I know what I just typed-clap your hams! Make 'em wibble-wobble 'till other parts do thobble If you’re naked and you know it, clap your hams! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it-then-just-sit-there-if-youre-lazy-and-you-know-it/164592.md?page=5)