# If you're missing Aldebaran, I have found a contender for you! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 19, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226 "2012-10-19T14:14:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/1 "2012-10-19T14:14:29Z")
Friends, Netizens, Teeming Millions[sup]TM[/sup]: Lend me your…er, eyes? Yeah, that’s it. Lend me your eyes! Perhaps some of you have already encountered this twerp, but alas I only recently had the misfortune of trying to have a discussion here with him/her/the drooling moron. “What gives?” you ask. Ah, here is a list of links with the fun stuff repeated/discussed below the link for you. In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669095), ol’ colonial (nope, I’m not going to put the nom de net in bold) offers up a number of tidbits. [TB the First](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15601694&postcount=31): > [@](#): > > The objective definition of Christianity consists of the belief that the ministry of Christ was > culminating, perfect, and final, and that the New Testament is the culminating, perfect, > and final written account of Christ’s ministry, both as a matter of fact divinely ordained by God. You may notice his unique use of the term _objective_. Don’t ask yet about the damn unnecessary returns all through the text. I’ll get to it in due course. [TB the second](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15603718&postcount=59): > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by **tomndebb** > > There is no single “objective” definition of Christianity. > > I believe mine is just so, and you fail to make any case against it. I almost did myself an injury laughing at this resonse to **tomndebb** ’s accurate statement of fact. The rest of the post has some odd comments, a couple of which one may wish to consider as a corollary to Godwin’s Law. I’m referring to the contender’s comments regarding Islam and Koresh in that very post. [TB the Third](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15604025&postcount=65): > [@](#): > > I do not see how there could be any dissent applying the terms to Christ, even > in the case of Unitarians who deny Christ’s personal divinity, but IIRC accept > the divinity of his message. > > NB I specified the New Testament, which relieves liberals of having to swallow > OT stories such as, well, such as Jonah being swallowed by a whale. The words > “culminating” and “final” should not incite controversy. The NT does contain > obvious contradiction in the record of events, and so is not in that sense perfect. > However, it is considered perfect in its revelation of the mind of God, sectarian > disagreement as to the revelation’s precise meaning being beside the point. Ah…I get it now. “Perfect” doesn’t really mean “perfect” but rather “WTF I want it to mean when I’m blathering.” I wish I’d started keeping account of the posters who’ve been using magical dictionaries for which only they know the definitions. Oh, yes. The comment about the meaning of the revelation being beside the point almost occasioned an injury to my pulmonary system. I really didn’t realize until now how hazardous laughter can be. I figured I’d ask a [question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15604150&postcount=67) that should be fairly safe, even in Great Debates: > [@](#): > > colonial: I have a question for you about your posts in this thread. What’s with the odd column-style typing? I’m fairly sure you can trust me on this one; no matter what device you’re using to access the board, the lines will auto-wrap. **Simple Linctus** [gave some info on that matter](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15604748&postcount=75): > [@](#): > > He always does it and he gets touchy if you call him on it, careful! [TB the Fourth](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15605085&postcount=82): > [@](#): > > Any post beginning with a Junior high School-level discharge such as “wow” > doesn’t promise much in the way of intellectual. Quickly followed by [TB the Fifth](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15605701&postcount=88): > [@](#): > > Ai yai yai. I did notice that the contender didn’t actually mention whether the drooling moron itself considers “Ai yai yai” to be “a Junior high School-level discharge” so perhaps the DM 'self actually considers “Ai yai yai” to be a promising intellectual statement. I, on the other hand, feel quite safe in considering the two comments quoted just above to damn good evidence the contender is a hypocrite. A bonus from that same TB link: > [@](#): > > Something inferred from the NT, or deduced from the NT, and uncontradicted by it, > may be reasonably considered as falling within my definition. Ah, _the contender’s definition_ is the one in play, not the definition used by…well, the rest of the freaking planet! As promised way above, [TB the Sixth](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15606215&postcount=97): > [@](#): > > I am the source upon which I base my claim. Dang! I referred to colonial a few times here as a contender. I think we have, not a contender, folks, but rather a winner. I give you the new, the not-so-improved Aldeberan. I give you colonial. No, no. Please don’t ask me to take him back. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/2 "2012-10-19T14:24:41Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > If you’re missing Aldebaran No. A thousand times no. How though is this guy similar to **Aldebaran** , who I don’t recall being into dogmatic religious pronouncements? ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/3 "2012-10-19T14:26:36Z")
Well **Alde** started strong right out of the gate. There really wasn’t much of a warm up was there? **colonial** been here a bit, maybe it’s just a phase? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/4 "2012-10-19T14:28:24Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > How though is this guy similar to **Aldebaran** , who I don’t recall being into dogmatic religious pronouncements? Because of this exchange: > [@Are Mormons also "Christian?"](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-mormons-also-christian/638065/97): > > I am the source upon which I base my claim. > [@Are Mormons also "Christian?"](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-mormons-also-christian/638065/98): > > **Aldebaran** , is that you? > [@Are Mormons also "Christian?"](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-mormons-also-christian/638065/99): > > Who he? > [@Are Mormons also "Christian?"](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-mormons-also-christian/638065/101): > > A banned poster notorious for defending one of his more fact free assertions, when challenged, with the comment, “My post is my cite.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/5 "2012-10-19T14:31:12Z")
TB = ??? (Not seeing it, please explain this abbr.) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/6 "2012-10-19T14:37:00Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > TB = ??? > > (Not seeing it, please explain this abbr.) Sorry. I forgot to indicate that initially as **T** id **b** it." ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/7 "2012-10-19T14:40:11Z")
I was \>\< this close, I swear. (My guess was ‘The Bonehead’!) ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/8 "2012-10-19T14:53:22Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Because of this exchange: He was also wonderfully wedded to the false dilemma. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/9 "2012-10-19T15:07:53Z")
Me, I’m missing Vega terribly, but might have to settle for Algol. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/10 "2012-10-19T15:30:47Z")
Damn him for using Notepad to write his posts. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/11 "2012-10-19T15:48:17Z")
Let me see now. I am typing this post using Notebad. How interesting! The blame thing does word-wrap just perfectly. And when I copy and paste the stuff into the SDMB, how does it look? It looks normal. ETA: Of course, it doesn’t bother to notice my misspelling. ---
**Author:** ![trabajabamos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/47e85d/32.png) [@trabajabamos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trabajabamos)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/12 "2012-10-19T15:55:18Z")
For my part (he’s doing this in my [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669095)), I find his formatting infuriating. It’s a weird thing to be upset by, right? ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/13 "2012-10-19T15:55:44Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Me, I’m missing Vega terribly, but might have to settle for Algol. Are you Sirius? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/14 "2012-10-19T16:00:42Z")
And here I thought all this time that Aldebaran was Princess Leia’s home planet that the Death Star blew up in the first Star Wars movie. ---
**Author:** ![trabajabamos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/47e85d/32.png) [@trabajabamos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trabajabamos)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/15 "2012-10-19T16:02:15Z")
When I see a post written like this my brain tries really hard to interpret it as some kind of verse. And it just doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/16 "2012-10-19T16:02:53Z")
I always thought Dio was the “My post is my cite” guy. Silly me. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/17 "2012-10-19T16:08:06Z")
My favorite Aldechanneler so far is [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15072212#post15072212) (NSFW?) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/18 "2012-10-19T16:09:16Z")
That’s odd; whenever I use Notepad, it inserts hard returns at the end of each line. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/19 "2012-10-19T16:31:34Z")
Man, that’s a waste of my widescreen monitor. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226/20 "2012-10-19T17:05:45Z")
There is something incredibly meta about telling people to accept things based on faith in a debate about faith. > [@](#): > > I am the source upon which I base my claim. He’s also the Way and the Truth and the Light, so watch yourselves. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-missing-aldebaran-i-have-found-a-contender-for-you/638226.md?page=2)