# If you're not going to eat, don't tell me how I'm cooking it wrong! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801 "2004-09-17T04:50:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/21 "2004-09-18T15:51:24Z")
Again returning to the OP, so- what’s the right way (that you cook them) and the wrong way (that she wanted them cooked?) If it’s just me eating, I put mine into a pan with some water and put a lid on for about 15 minutes or 20- to get it cooked through, then I dump out the water, add a dash of oil and fry them up until the outside is crispy good. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/22 "2004-09-18T16:06:53Z")
> [@Zette](#): > > Again returning to the OP, so- what’s the right way (that you cook them) and the wrong way (that she wanted them cooked?) > > If it’s just me eating, I put mine into a pan with some water and put a lid on for about 15 minutes or 20- to get it cooked through, then I dump out the water, add a dash of oil and fry them up until the outside is crispy good. That recipe sounds like a wiener to me…er, winner. 😉 **Duffer** , I’ve had similar bouts with the MIL in the past. I love to cook also. Best to just give ‘the look’ and just ignore her. We should exchange MIL stories sometime. They’re like terrorists, if you placate them they just keep it coming. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/23 "2004-09-18T16:10:51Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > If you see his first post, he mentions he’s from the Fox Valley, which is the Appleton/Oshkosh/etc area. I’m from Wisconsin as well, but I roll my eyes when I see this “pun” - I’ve seen it a lot but only in written form, on the Internet. You’re correct. So, Athena is incorrectly named. What is the patron goddess of dumbasses? Hmmn? _Laura Bush_? I suggest an immediate name change. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/24 "2004-09-18T16:41:17Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > You’re correct. So, Athena is incorrectly named. Well, perhaps the UP really isn’t “Northern Wisconsin” after all, but that’s as far as I’d go there. 😉 A Wisconsinite would know that bit of geography, after all. And the **proper** way to cook bratwurst, as everyone knows, is to first simmer them in a mixture of beer and sliced onions, and then cook them on the grill. [waits for the holy war over the One True Way to cook brats to break out 😃] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/25 "2004-09-18T20:32:11Z")
**FerretHerder** , I’m on my way over. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/26 "2004-09-18T21:00:48Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > Well, perhaps the UP really isn’t “Northern Wisconsin” after all, but that’s as far as I’d go there. 😉 A Wisconsinite would know that bit of geography, after all. > > And the **proper** way to cook bratwurst, as everyone knows, is to first simmer them in a mixture of beer and sliced onions, and then cook them on the grill. > > [waits for the holy war over the One True Way to cook brats to break out 😃] What the fuck are you talking about? I mentioned the Fox Valley and said _nothing_ about the UP. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/27 "2004-09-18T21:19:22Z")
Just for the record, the best Bratwurst I ever had was in Germany in my exchange family’s backyard . It didn’t involve any precooking and in fact relied on the quality of the wurst and simplicity of the grilling. They had a fire pit and let some natural wood charcoal go to ember and very hot coals-- they put down bricks on either side of the raked coals and laid a grilling grate over. The brats were grilled quickly very close to the very hot coals (about 3 inches above) for a total of maybe 7-10 minutes with constant turning and attention. Juicy, perfectly done, and smoky delicious. Serve wth Löwensenf. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/28 "2004-09-18T21:43:36Z")
We cook ours on an electric grill. Nice and juicy, served with mustard and sauerkraut. Am I a heretic? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/29 "2004-09-18T22:31:23Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Hey mine was funny (wasn’t it? Or was it too sick?) I laughed at it. Everything else in this thread is just surreal… I’ve no idea where all the bitchiness is coming from. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/30 "2004-09-18T22:51:47Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > I laughed at it. Everything else in this thread is just surreal… I’ve no idea where all the bitchiness is coming from. I think it’s latent animosity felt towards everyone that has criticized a Doper’s cooking. And being from Milwaukee with a cabin in Minocqua, I can say the UP is often (jokingly) referred to as Northern Wisconsin. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/31 "2004-09-18T22:54:00Z")
Damnit, forgot my preferred method. Simmer in a 2-1 beer/water mix with onions and/or sauerkraut veeerrryy ssssllloooowwwwlllyy. This prevents them from exploding, usually until fully cooked, then browning them on a grill. Yummm ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/32 "2004-09-18T22:56:42Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > I laughed at it. Everything else in this thread is just surreal… I’ve no idea where all the bitchiness is coming from. I know what you mean. This is the wurst I’ve ever seen it on the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/33 "2004-09-18T23:09:33Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > What the fuck are you talking about? I mentioned the Fox Valley and said _nothing_ about the UP. I’d assumed you’d read **Athena** ’s post in its entirety before flaming her. The answer to your heated query is that she said the UP is culturally equivalent to Wisconsin and that she had lived there. I was merely suggesting that she needn’t be labeled a “dumbass” for not knowing what the Fox Valley is. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/34 "2004-09-18T23:15:52Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > And the **proper** way to cook bratwurst, as everyone knows, is to first simmer them in a mixture of beer and sliced onions, and then cook them on the grill. Most Sheboygan County natives I know insist that brats are for grilling, beer is for drinking. They should never be combined anywhere except within the stomach. But then most Sheboygan County natives have elevated serum porcelain levels anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/35 "2004-09-18T23:26:03Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I know what you mean. This is the wurst I’ve ever seen it on the boards. Knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/36 "2004-09-18T23:28:09Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > I laughed at it. Everything else in this thread is just surreal… I’ve no idea where all the bitchiness is coming from. My thoughts exactly. I though the listener post was pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/37 "2004-09-18T23:44:18Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Most Sheboygan County natives I know insist that brats are for grilling, beer is for drinking. They should never be combined anywhere except within the stomach. > > But then most Sheboygan County natives have elevated serum porcelain levels anyway. 😃 Bah, I learned this way of cooking from my father. Dunno if my grandpa ever cooked brats, though. These days I’m a vegetarian, but I still cook some good brats for those who aren’t. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/38 "2004-09-19T01:43:37Z")
> [@Zette](#): > > If it’s just me eating, I put mine into a pan with some water and put a lid on for about 15 minutes or 20- to get it cooked through, then I dump out the water, add a dash of oil and fry them up until the outside is crispy good. That’s how I cook mine. I’d like to apologize for my crankiness this morning; I was just grouchy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/39 "2004-09-20T05:55:39Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > Bah, I learned this way of cooking from my father. Dunno if my grandpa ever cooked brats, though. > > These days I’m a vegetarian, but I still cook some good brats for those who aren’t. 🙂 So… cook. Now. The Mango is hungry for bratwurst. The Mango will have bratwurst, cooked in **Ferret Herder’s** inimitable style. The Mango will have bratwurst now. Do not allow the Mango to remain unfed, for the Mango has been known to gnaw people’s legs off when she is not given bratwurst in a timely fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801/40 "2004-09-20T06:19:19Z")
Er…I don’t have any bratwurst, **Mango** , but would kielbasa be an acceptable substitute? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youre-not-going-to-eat-dont-tell-me-how-im-cooking-it-wrong/264801.md?page=3)