# If you've broken off an engagement ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637 "2002-07-06T16:00:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/1 "2002-07-06T16:00:46Z")
How long was it before you felt like getting serious about someone again? I’ve been dating a woman for the past month or so who was engaged as of six months ago. She doesn’t want to get all that serious right now. Fair enough. I enjoy her company very much (and the kissing is pretty cool, too). At the moment I’m quite inclined to bide my time until she’s in the mood for something more. I’m just curious to know how much biding I might be looking at. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/2 "2002-07-06T16:07:21Z")
For me, for example, when its over, its over. So, to answer your question, about a week, for me. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/3 "2002-07-06T16:09:41Z")
That’s promising. Yeah, I know that everyone is different, but if all the responses I got were, oh, TWO YEARS or something hideous like that, I’d start to get a sinking feeling. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/4 "2002-07-06T16:20:37Z")
Snoooooop: It also may depend on if the breakup was painful or not. Did you ask her why it was broken off? Is she still not over him? This is something you need to discuss. Like I said, t’were me…theres no waiting period! LOL. Sometimes, ya realize it was a total waste of your time, then its easy to move on with someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/5 "2002-07-06T16:21:04Z")
I think it really depends on the person. I suppose the length of their relationship, how commited they really were to each other and who decided to end it has to be taken into account too. My husband and I split up over a year ago now (which was my decision) and I did get involved with someone pretty much straight away. I’m no longer with that person because I realised that although the relationship with my husband was over I still needed time on my own to “get over” (for want of a better word) it. On preview I’ve just seen your reply, maybe I shouldn’t post this…but you did ask 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/6 "2002-07-06T16:23:28Z")
Oh, also, I know your situation is different than my own but it was the only one I had to compare it to. ---
**Author:** ![Cessandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/7 "2002-07-07T04:49:19Z")
Well, you may think badly of me for this, but for me it was something like negative two months. My first engagement was a divorce (or potentially worse) waiting to happen. Thank God I got out when I did. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/8 "2002-07-07T05:51:01Z")
3 broken engagements in my wake… I ended all of them, and was pretty much ready to start dating within a couple of months. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/9 "2002-07-07T13:39:00Z")
Well, one time after a breakup (it wasn’t an engagement) I just turned off. I dated some, and even slept with one guys, but my heart was never in it and I felt creepy and even violated afterwards (not that it was his fault). I was much happier casually dating and never letting it get physical because it was like something inside my body was dead. And that lasted, alas, for MONTHS. Then I met someone with whom I had chemistry and the spell was broken. Oooh la la. So that’s the bad news scenario, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/10 "2002-07-07T16:04:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*3 broken engagements in my wake… > > I ended all of them, and was pretty much ready to start dating within a couple of months. \*\* See, that’s 'cause you’re an evil Albertan Redhead. 😉 They say that after a broken long-term or serious relationship you use the one week for one month thing. For instance, together two years = 24 weeks or 6 months before you’re ‘over’ or ready to get serious again. For me, it was almost a year after my two-year relationship ended. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-youve-broken-off-an-engagement/117637/11 "2002-07-08T09:30:51Z")
I’d agree with **vanilla** it depends why they broke up. I recently ended a 6 year relationship with a guy I was engaged to. The relationship wasn’t going anywhere, and we were more like friends. I’m in another relationship now 🆒 There’s no set rules or guide lines to follow for any of this, when she’s ready, she’s ready. Enjoy what you got at the moment, but don’t push her into anything more or she’ll resent you for it, and you’ll get nowhere. Biding your time can be fun… think of all that tension build up… 😉