my last name is Hoyle (just like it looks!!), first name Sean. i always get Hole, Howl, Holey. people will do the weirdest fuckin things to pronounce things the way they want. i mean, if it was Boyle, no one would have a problem, i guess its that evil H.
at my old job, when my asshole boss was handing out paychecks, he got to mine and called out
“See-yan Holey?”
“uh…you mean Sean Hoyle?”
“What? Thats not how i spell Sean.”
“oh yah? well fuck you, you fuckin fuck!! fuck off!”
well, thats what i wanted to say anyway… i mean shit, hasnt he heard of Sean Connery? probably, but i guess he’s never read something about him, ignorant puke.
ahhh…that feels much better. btw, kinsey, i like your response to telemarketers, im gonna start using that.
My daughter gets this, too. I especially like Shara. How stupid can you be? And if you don’t say, “With an H”, you ALWAYS get “Sara.”
One time she even got Sahara, like the desert.
My last name is 10 letters long and Scottish. The long pause is great-and if I do want to annoy the telemarketers, I let them ask me if they are pronouncing it correctly, say no and let them try again. Just got off the phone with one actually…snicker
My maiden name is Stephens. Pronounced just like Stevens.
Not Steffens.
Not Steffenson.
Not Stevenson.
My married name is ten letters long and Polish. (Do I see a trend here?) I get the pause too.
My first name is Rasha. Pronounced RAW-sha. Who would name their child RASH-a? Sheesh.
All of my names have made me a stickler for correct spelling of other people’s names. But even I was stumped recently. A woman called our hotline number and identified herself as Sheila Brown. She then wrote to our e-mail address - Shellia. I wrote her back and said, “I could swear you said Sheila.” She did.
There must be a dozen ways to spell “Schaefer”.
My father has always spelled it “Shafer”.
It’s easier, and still sounds the same.
I may just change it!
Like imapunha, I have a hyphenated last name. Are hyphenated names SO unusual that people just can’t figure out that their BOTH my last name? I get tons of junk mail addressed to both Ms. Kyla Polin and Ms. Kyla Wall. Huh, don’t know those people. Oh, and no one can pronounce either Kyla or Polin. (It’s not KAYLA, can you READ?) It is a good way to figure out the telemarketers, though.
Abramowitz…sound it out…gold stars for trying.
It’s really not that difficult and a very common name on the east coast.
But for some reason the telemarketers have no idea what to do with it. I get some very amusing variations…and then the pause…
This is a great place to insert a dial tone.
My last name has only five letters. It doesn’t stop people from spelling it funny. (or they spell it correctly and pronounce it funny). And, my dad is the only one who has a first name that people don’t misspell.
My maiden name was LeMunyan. NO ONE got it right though it is pronounced JUST AS IT LOOKS! My married name starts with a Z. I never realized that people do not recognize the letter Z. Everyone wants to spell it with a V, file it under V, look it up using V, etc. Even AFTER I spell it.
Whenever I go to Toys R Us, the cashiers always ask for my phone number (for their “records” I guess.) I always refuse to give it as a matter of rote, but if it’s a female cashier, I always say, “No, but it was so sweet of you to ask” and wink. Never fails to get them to blush.
< end minor hijack >
To the point, though, my last name is Malone … NOT Maloney!
I’ve had the following conversations more times than I could possibly count:
Them: “Mr…uh,” (staring at the paper with my name on it), “(horribly mangled version).”
Me: “It’s pronounced (correct version)”
Them: “Wow. Really? I never would have got that. How do you get that out of that spelling?”
Me: Wan plastic grin, if I’m in a good mood. Ha-ha-ha-fucking-ha-ha. Never heard that one before. Really. You’re a friggin’ creative genius, dude.
Them: “What kind of name is that?”
Me: “It’s Swiss-French.”
Them: Blank look as they realize there’s no real response to put in here. If they’re really smart, I might get a “huh.” Or with exceptional cases, a “I bet you get that all the time, huh?”
My goal in life is now to become so famous that my children will never have to explain their name to anyone!!
