# I'll Bet You Need MetroCards to Get Into Hell . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 3, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585 "2000-11-03T18:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/61 "2000-11-10T16:14:00Z")
{note to mashers and stalkers: above name and address is a totally false and amusing jest} ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/62 "2000-11-10T16:14:19Z")
Why don’t they give you some sort of credit-card like device that’s permanent? Down here, though we don’t have public transportation, we have 3 toll bridges and they all use an EZ-Pass like system called LeeWay. They put something like $20 or $50 into an account, and deduct 50¢ from it every time you go through. When your account starts to run low, they fill it up again off of your credit card. I think a similar system would work well for a subway system, as long as you had a way to cancel it like a credit card or ATM card if you lose it. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/63 "2000-11-10T16:18:30Z")
All Straight Dopers who want Lupe Velez to have drowned in her toilet…clap your hands! C’mon, let’s hear it! If we all BELIEVE, then Lupe Velez will have drowned in her toilet! Come on! Bang those hands together! If we REALLY believe, then Lupe will have drowned in her toilet as Phil Collins looked on, causing him to write the eerie death-song “In the Air Tonight!” ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/64 "2000-11-10T16:22:11Z")
Mods - please delete our place of work in Eve’s thread!!! Eve - I have never lost a Metrocard. Sanibelman - I wouldn’t want my credit information on a card that has the potential to be lost or stolen. $20 I can stand to lose, not my whole bank account. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/65 "2000-11-10T16:22:37Z")
I repeat: WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH TOKENS IN THE FIRST PLACE? I wouldn’t mind MetroCards if they didn’t insist on REPLACING tokens. Why can’t they jusy coexist happily side-by-side, like Israelis and Palestinians? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/66 "2000-11-10T16:24:44Z")
Ike and Sax—sorry for any perceived stalking possibilties, but you have BOTH mentioned your workplace and the town you live in multiple times in many threads . . . ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/67 "2000-11-10T16:27:44Z")
I have made a point to never state my place of business on the board. If someone wants to hunt me down, Park Slope is a big place - they’ll never find me. But it’d be really easy to do so through work. I’m not mad, but I’d like it to be erased. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/68 "2000-11-10T16:34:35Z")
The thread has run its course and the whole thing can be deleted as far as I’m concerned . . . But you HAVE mentioned where you work, back when you and Ike first discovered you worked in the same building (even mentioned the location!) . . . So it didn’t occur to me not to toss it in. Oh, well, sorry again for re-releasing any unwanted info and yes, Mods, please just 86 this whole thread. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/69 "2000-11-10T16:39:42Z")
Hey I just love that we have machines now. They’re quick, easy and you can get instructions in every known language except Athabascan and Mordvin, I believe. And even when the line for the window is huge, you rarely have to wait long for one. I suppose a machine that dispensed tokens might be nice too, but my problem with $20 worth of tokens is that they are so heavy that my big gangsta jeans hang even lower when than usual when I carry them. Plus the jingly noise makes it harder for me to sneak up on tourists. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/70 "2000-11-10T17:05:04Z")
Where I live in [totally disgusting rat-infested and horrifically crime-ridden Brooklyn ghetto] the machines ONLY give instructions in Mordvin. You lace-curtain New Yorkers make me puke! Buncha [piece of ground in or near a city or town kept for ornament and recreation] Avenue panty-waists. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/71 "2000-11-10T17:05:50Z")
I will agree that replacing tokens sounds quite silly to me. Here in Montreal, we have as many denominations as you’d care to think of: single tickets, strips of six tickets, one-day passes, three-day passes, weekly passes (which cost exactly the same as the three-day passes, for some arcane reason), and monthly passes. There used to be round-trip tickets and strips of twelve, but they phased those out, I think. Tickets and CAMs coexist happily, although tickets are way more expensive if you use the metro a lot. Basically I only buy tickets if I happen to lose my CAM two days before the end of the month or something. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/72 "2000-11-10T17:11:31Z")
**Eve:** Well, we mentioned the building. **Sax** is actually a cocktail waitress in the bar and grill off the lobby, and I run the cash register in the shoe-repair shop on the lower level. Those patent leather pumps you left last week for re-soling should be ready on Tuesday. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/73 "2000-11-10T17:19:15Z")
And I imagine the switchboard is quite fed up with people calling and asking for “Ukulele Ike” and “SaxFace.” “I TOLD you, there is no one WORKING here with those names!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/74 "2000-11-10T17:40:39Z")
Yeah really, I’d imagine the prestigious Ford Modeling Agency gets enough phonecalls as it is. Oh, oops! ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/75 "2000-11-10T20:39:17Z")
What you think the Teeming Millions Stalking folks need _help_? Think again, buster. We have been keeping careful watch on both Ike and Saxy for weeks now. Let me say this, that pink crotchless underwear goes perfectly with your mascara!! And, Saxy, your makeup is nice, as well. pat ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/76 "2000-11-10T20:52:10Z")
Oh, brother, I’ve created a monster. For the record, Uke and I work in the _cafeteria_ of the Ford Modeling agency. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/77 "2000-11-10T21:01:55Z")
. . . Only because Eileen Ford said, “these two are TOO good-looking! If we gave America THAT much of an inferiority complex, they’d storm our doors!” . . . Those doors, of course, being at 53 East 75th Street, just east of Lexington . . . Sax is the 6’ blonde dishin’ out the Sloppy Joes and Ike is the Dylan McDermott lookalike working the cash register. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/78 "2000-11-10T21:42:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > …single tickets, strips of six tickets, one-day passes, three-day passes, weekly passes (which cost exactly the same as the three-day passes, for some arcane reason), and monthly passes. There used to be round-trip tickets and strips of twelve,… I was in Munich in March. Their subway had all those choices and more, and the instructions were in German. And it’s all on the honor system. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/79 "2000-11-10T21:53:52Z")
Actually, I was referring to _Henry_ Ford Modeling Agency. Junk in the trunk, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585/80 "2000-11-11T20:17:43Z")
Alphagene: The Anti-Defamation League of Yellowknife and Mari will be after you. Why omit those two languages? And are you sure they can handle !Kung or Chomorro? Have you ever heard them singing the National Anthem of the Northern Marianas: “Chomorro! Chomorro” I tell you, it brings a tear to your eyes, especially that little girl and her dog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-need-metrocards-to-get-into-hell/39585.md?page=3)