# I'll bet you would drive better with that cell phone up your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834 "2012-09-16T00:46:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/181 "2012-10-13T01:14:26Z")
> [@Enkel](#): > > I had a similar rear-end. The woman had just picked up her new car from the dealership and was on the phone telling hubby. I stopped for a school bus w/red lights on and she didn’t. She hit me hard enough to slightly bend the frame in my truck. I had a hitch on the back of my truck so her brand new car (less than 15 miles from the dealership) had the entire front end buckled into the ground. Thankfully, she’d insured it before pulling off the lot. Something similar happened to me as well. Guy from out of town on a phone in a rental. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/182 "2012-10-13T04:28:35Z")
I learn a lot here. Thank you all so much. All I know about therapists is what I’ve seen on TV or in the movies. Bill stood me up this weekend (well, not really, we both knew that he probably couldn’t fly out, but I’m sad and lonesome and wants sympathy), so I called some of the guys and we are going for a ride tomorrow. My pride won’t let me get to the highway with them and then turn around because I’m scared. Plus, I’ll be riding in a pack. I think that is safer because we are more visible. **azraiel** , thank you for your kind words. You are very correct that the poor bastard in the oncoming lane was also a victim. He almost ran someone over through no fault of his own. His life would have been changed forever, and not in a good way. Its probably been changed anyhow, if it had been me driving that pick-up, I’d still be having nightmares about it. I haven’t really talked about the other victim, the one that the stupid bint rear ended, but thats because she seemed to be OK physically. Her car did what it was designed to do, and my honking and waving alerted her to brace herself and keep her foot on the brake. She was understandably upset but was focused on her car. All of this could have been avoided if the stupid bint had been paying more attention to her driving and less attention to her smartphone. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/183 "2012-10-13T08:08:40Z")
Yay! Let us know how the ride went. We’re with ya! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/184 "2012-10-14T01:03:44Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yay! Let us know how the ride went. We’re with ya! Awwww, thank you! I ride with Marines. While they probably won’t usually admit it to strangers, they understand fear. I was honest with them when I called for an escort. Usually, the weakest rider leads the pack so nobody has to try to ride faster than they are comfortable, but this time they put me in the middle of the pack. Well, not really a pack today, there were only 5 of us. I was pretty shaky when we got on the highway, but that went away when we got up to speed. It was the stop lights that made me queasy. When we got close to the stop light where I was hit, we went around the block, stopped to get coffee and pee (maybe one of us needed to puke, but we don’t need to talk about that). We finally went through that light and rode the White Spars, which is one of my favorite roads. Its got twisty, turny hairpin curves and we love to hit them so fast that we scrape pipes or floorboards. When we got to the whorehouse near Skull Valley, we stopped and I was able to show off new damage to my pipes. I really needed to do this. My confidence is back. One of my friends is going to ride to work with me on Monday. They want to be sure that I actually ride in rush hour traffic, because it would be so easy to make more excuses. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/185 "2012-10-14T01:20:11Z")
That is really great and yay for you! And yay for good friends who understand overcoming your fears. 🙂 My husband dropped his bike BIG time a few months ago. He hasn’t been back on since (mostly because the bike isn’t fixed yet) but I’m hoping he can get back on and go soon - he needs to. His accident was his own arrogant and stupid fault, and he lucky he didn’t get seriously hurt or cause someone else to hurt him. I’m hoping the experience was humbling enough, but not enough to put him off forever- he loves it so and it’s good for him. I’m hoping that your joy in riding comes back in a wave and drowns out your very understandable fears, and all within the next ride or two. You need your ride! ---
**Author:** ![Toffe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@Toffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toffe)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/186 "2012-10-14T02:36:41Z")
Good on ya, **flatlined**! Happy riding! ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/187 "2012-10-14T02:42:03Z")
Good for you for getting out there, and good for your Marines. I’ll drink a toast to them tonight too! Oddly enough, what you did with them is pretty much exactly what CBT is - getting into a safe place (a pack of friendly encouraging Marines) and using that confidence and support to talk yourself through something that you know rationally you can get through, but you’re still scared about. My only sadness is that you can’t pay the Marines for therapy. Maybe they could form an ad-hoc group therapy agency and send you a bill that you can forward to the bint? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/188 "2012-10-14T02:42:20Z")
> [@saje](#): > > That is really great and yay for you! And yay for good friends who understand overcoming your fears. 🙂 QFT We’re cheering you on! ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/189 "2012-10-14T03:21:09Z")
And if you buy and wear a little bit more better armor, no one will think you’re a sissy. So with this check coming up, look into getting the best $ can buy and ride safe! ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/190 "2012-10-14T04:15:37Z")
Bint is an offensive, misogynist term. I am not surprised to see a biker use it. I am glad you got hit. Take some your meth money and put it toward a new custom paint job. Or better yet, sell the bike, get a Prius, and start treating with the respect they deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/191 "2012-10-14T04:22:07Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > we love to hit them so fast that we scrape pipes or floorboards. So not only are you a misogynist jerk, but you also drive like an asshole. > [@](#): > > When we got to the whorehouse near Skull Valley, we stopped and I was able to show off new damage to my pipes. Why am I not surprised you went to whorehouse. You obviously have no respect for women. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/192 "2012-10-14T04:25:26Z")
Isn’t there a rule against hate speech? I am pretty sure that calling a woman an offensive name and threatening to rape/sexually assualt her (sticking phone up her ass) is hate speech. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/193 "2012-10-14T04:29:29Z")
Do you really thin rape/sexual assault is an appropriate response to a fender bender? And if stuck the phone up her ass as far as you threatened, you would kill her. So, is murder an appropriate response, too? You clearly have some problems with women. I strongly urge you to get treatment before you make your rape/murder fantasies reality. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/194 "2012-10-14T04:30:39Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > Do you really thin rape/sexual assault is an appropriate response to a fender bender? And if stuck the phone up her ass as far as you threatened, you would kill her. So, is murder an appropriate response, too? > > You clearly have some problems with women. I strongly urge you to get treatment before you make your rape/murder fantasies reality. Hey dumb dumb, the OP is a woman. Do try to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/195 "2012-10-14T04:31:23Z")
The rest of you should be ashamed for supporting this women-hating freak and his rape/murder threat. How can you live with yourselves? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/196 "2012-10-14T04:33:51Z")
> [@naive evian](#): > > the rest of you should be ashamed for supporting this women-hating freak and his rape/murder threat. > > How can you live with yourselves? **i said:** > [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > hey dumb dumb, the op is a woman. Do try to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/197 "2012-10-14T04:34:01Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > Bint is an offensive, misogynist term. I am not surprised to see a biker use it. I am glad you got hit. Take some your meth money and put it toward a new custom paint job. Or better yet, sell the bike, get a Prius, and start treating with the respect they deserve. If I’d been scant inches away from being killed because someone was too busy talking on their phone to notice traffic had stopped, “bint” is the \*kindest \*thing I would have said, especially since said bint was more concerned about breaking her phone than she was about having run into two vehicles and nearly killing someone. And I don’t even ride a motorcycle. You need to learn a few things, like what it means to paint with a broad brush, that reading the entire thread is usually a good idea before spouting off with your prejudices, and what treating others with respect actually means. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/198 "2012-10-14T04:34:20Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Hey dumb dumb, the OP is a woman. Do try to keep up. So a woman can’t be a misogynist? Just like a black person can’t be a racist. And a jew can’t be a anti-Semite. Anyone who calls a woman an offensive name and threaten rape is a misogynist regardless of whether she herself is a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Naive\_Evian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Naive\_Evian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naive_Evian)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/199 "2012-10-14T04:36:19Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > If I’d been scant inches away from being killed because someone was too busy talking on their phone to notice traffic had stopped, “bint” is the \*kindest \*thing I would have said, especially since said bint was more concerned about breaking her phone than she was about having run into two vehicles and nearly killing someone. > > And I don’t even ride a motorcycle. > > You need to learn a few things, like what it means to paint with a broad brush, that reading the entire thread is usually a good idea before spouting off with your prejudices, and what treating others with respect actually means. She not only called the woman an offensive name, which I could see letting slide, she also threaded rape. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2012, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/200 "2012-10-14T04:41:09Z")
> [@Naive\_Evian](#): > > She not only called the woman an offensive name, which I could see letting slide, she also threaded rape. No she didn’t. She used hyperbole to express her frustration at a person who obviously had very little regard for anyone but herself. However, please continue your posts. I assume you’re trying to convince the boards that you’re a moron, and your doing an excellent job. I know I’m convinced. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834.md?page=11)