# I'll bet you would drive better with that cell phone up your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834 "2012-09-16T00:46:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/241 "2012-10-15T02:43:01Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > When I was young and living in a po white neighborhood of southside St. Louis, my friend from there one day pointed out a pedestrian on the sidewalk, a gentleman sporting Harley-Davidson leather gear. My friend commented on what a sad, pathetic sight that was: a _walking biker_. Because a lot of people there could only afford the gear, not the actual motorcycle. To be fair, his bike may have been getting repairs that day, for all I know. But my friend, who knew the neighborhood having grown up there, saw it as pathetic. I have a t-shirt that has a set of Harley keys and the words “I don’t just own the T-Shirt” It offends people. I also have a t-shirt that has a Harley engine and the words “Size does matter”. I’ve had men stop me on the street to tell me that size doesn’t matter. People are so strange. > [@DrDeth](#): > > Can I suggest Labonville, which has both kevlar and steel cap (more of a logger) (ebay $200+) or firemens boots which also have kevlar, such as Pro-Warrington? Thorogood is also a good brand as is Matterhorn. > > These are all more than riding boots, they are foot-armor. Looks at the reviews. WOW, those are awesome. I only wore my new boots in the store and walked around in my house, and I have the recepit. A lot of Harley gear is made in China, which offends me. The Labonville logger boots seem like they will fit my needs much better than the ones I bought today. The Pro-Warrington boots are too ugly. I want my feets to be safe, but I also want to look good. Thank you so much for the suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/242 "2012-10-15T04:12:06Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Looks at the reviews. WOW, those are awesome. I only wore my new boots in the store and walked around in my house, and I have the recepit. A lot of Harley gear is made in China, which offends me. The Labonville logger boots seem like they will fit my needs much better than the ones I bought today. The Pro-Warrington boots are too ugly. I want my feets to be safe, but I also want to look good. > > Thank you so much for the suggestions. Labonville are _the_ best. Not cheap, even tho maybe a little cheaper than HD. But the very safest out there. Made in the USofA, too. Check ebay. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/243 "2012-10-15T07:47:25Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > I predict a short stay for our **Naive** new [del]troll[/del] friend. Gee… That didn’t take long. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/244 "2012-10-15T09:47:03Z")
Wonder what the final straw was? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/245 "2012-10-15T13:08:58Z")
I knew it was coming but damn I was away this weekend and reading it afterwards while entertaining is just not the same ☹ One more crime by the troll! Bad timing. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/246 "2012-10-15T14:31:26Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Wonder what the final straw was? Maybe my prediction, itself. The last three people I said that about were gone within a day. I’m magic. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/247 "2012-10-15T14:42:23Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Maybe my prediction, itself. The last three people I said that about were gone within a day. I’m magic. NTS: be nice to **Cheshire Human** ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/248 "2012-10-15T15:42:35Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > When I was young and living in a po white neighborhood of southside St. Louis, my friend from there one day pointed out a pedestrian on the sidewalk, a gentleman sporting Harley-Davidson leather gear. I wonder if that’s the same neighborhood where my sister lived while attending Wash U. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/249 "2012-10-15T17:06:42Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > I wonder if that’s the same neighborhood where my sister lived while attending Wash U. The area just southwest of Soulard and west of Anheuser-Busch? I lived with my friend there for 2 or 3 months while attending SLU, before I got my own place. That was in the 1970s before the area got all gentrified up. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/250 "2012-10-17T01:39:23Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > The area just southwest of Soulard and west of Anheuser-Busch? I lived with my friend there for 2 or 3 months while attending SLU, before I got my own place. That was in the 1970s before the area got all gentrified up. Possibly. She started Wash in '78 but I don’t remember where she lived, except it was the upper unit of a 2-unit row house, with a hole in the floor. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/251 "2012-12-21T19:26:00Z")
> [@BigAppleBucky](#): > > Q: When tracking a person in the snow, how do you tell a drunk from a cell phone user? > A: You can’t. [http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/opinion/sunday/walk-like-a-fish.html](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/opinion/sunday/walk-like-a-fish.html) Little piece in the NY Times mentions the problems caused by cell phone users on the flow of pedestrian traffic in NYC. WALK LIKE A FISH > [@](#): > > . . . . What he found is how reliably pedestrians automatically adjust to one another’s behavior. Modeling this behavior is now a field of study, invoking everything from fluid dynamics to behavioral heuristics to describe how we navigate our sidewalks, swollen with people, without saying a word to one another. > **snip** \* > Fish happen to be a good model for what we do: research on fish “traffic” management has led to the formulation of three simple rules they follow to avoid congestion while moving together with hundreds or thousands of other fish. > > **snip** > First, avoid bumping into others (while staying comfortably close). > **snip** > > A second rule: Follow whoever is in front of you. No matter that she may herself be following another, or may be only a temporary leader . . . > > _snip_\* > The final rule: Keep up with those next to you. > > **snip** > Many, \*\*distracted by cellphones \*\*and sale signs, are no longer even using their fish brains: they do not align themselves (they swerve); they do not avoid (they bump); and they do not slip behind and between others (they blunder). ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/252 "2012-12-21T23:54:39Z")
Flatlined: sorry to hear about the distress, pain and hassle this jerktard caused you. But glad you are alive to tell the story! What will it take to make cells while driving illegal in all states? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/253 "2012-12-22T03:57:42Z")
**BigAppleBucky** I am so cracking up after reading that. I know, its not funny, but to know that cell phones make people dumber than a goldfish…oh yeah, it is funny in a way. **feddup2** Thank you for the kind words. It was really scary at the time. In Arizona, cell phone use wasn’t banned because it falls under “distracted driver”, which is illegal. So…what did I see almost every single time I saw a cop? He or she was on a cell phone! ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/254 "2012-12-22T13:15:22Z")
> [@BigAppleBucky](#): > > The final rule: Keep up with those next to you. I think this is true only in busy sidewalks. When merging with someone keeping my pace, I either deliberately speed up or slow down so we don’t walk next to each other in the same direction. In fact, once, when I tried to speed up to pass a woman (arriving home after midnight), she actually started running. I crossed the road to avoid scaring her, but she crossed in front of me. I tried speeding up to get past her to demonstrate I wasn’t going to mug her, but she started running again, then slipped down a side road. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/255 "2012-12-22T18:05:54Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \ In Arizona, cell phone use wasn’t banned because it falls under “distracted driver”, which is illegal. So…what did I see almost every single time I saw a cop? He or she was on a cell phone!\ Ayeayeaye.:rolleyes: No law will prevent stupidity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834.md?page=12)