# I'll bet you would drive better with that cell phone up your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834 "2012-09-16T00:46:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/161 "2012-10-11T05:03:07Z")
Update: One night with me is worth 5 grand! Or maybe not, because we didn’t have wild monkey sex the entire weekend Bill was with me. So…one night with me is worth $2500. Oh wait, we usually have cuddle time on Sunday’s, but he doesn’t spend the night then. Someone else can do the numbers, but Bill sent me a copy of the check and the legal talk about why he was getting the money. I’m getting that framed and its going to hang on the wall in the bedroom. My damages and pain and suffering were also paid much higher than what I thought I should get. All I really wanted was for my bike and gear to be paid for, but the insurance company tried to play games with me and deny everything. Bill and my junkyard dog have told me that the reason they did this was to try to teach the insurance company to stop fucking with bikers. I really wanted the stupid bint who hit me to apologize, but that didn’t happen. Lawyer said was expected, if she apologized, it would be admiting fault. My claim is still open. Now that I have my bike back, I’m afraid to ride. I can ride around the neighborhood, but when I got to the highway, I just couldn’t do it. If I need therapy, those bills will be paid. Of course, any good therapist would tell me that I was an idiot for riding in the first place. I fully intend to get back on the saddle again. The first time I started my bike, I was shaking so hard that I couldn’t work the choke. Now I can ride at 30 mph, but when I tried to make a right turn to get on the highway, I just couldn’t do it. 17 happy years of riding, and one stupid bint took all the pleasure out of it. Now it seems like a chore, something that I have to do, not something that I want to do. I just did the math for myself, according to the insurance company, one sexual experience with me is worth $1000. Damn, I’m even better than I thought 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/162 "2012-10-11T05:08:57Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Of course, any good therapist would tell me that I was an idiot for riding in the first place. I fully intend to get back on the saddle again. The first time I started my bike, I was shaking so hard that I couldn’t work the choke. Now I can ride at 30 mph, but when I tried to make a right turn to get on the highway, I just couldn’t do it. In a fair and just universe, the woman who ran you over would have a similar psychological reaction to picking up a smartphone again. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/163 "2012-10-11T06:33:47Z")
> [@](#): > > My damages and pain and suffering were also paid much higher than what I thought I should get…17 happy years of riding, and one stupid bint took all the pleasure out of it. Now it seems like a chore, something that I have to do, not something that I want to do. (Bit of snippage there) Your pain and suffering include your new aversion to riding, that’s part of the damage that she did to you. She might not have apologized to you, but I bet she is ever so sorry. I doubt that she’s learned anything, though. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/164 "2012-10-11T06:43:54Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > (Bit of snippage there) Your pain and suffering include your new aversion to riding, that’s part of the damage that she did to you. > > She might not have apologized to you, but I bet she is ever so sorry. I doubt that she’s learned anything, though. My guess is Ms. Speshul Snoeflayke is only sorry that SHE was inconvenienced by having a lesser being get in her way, damage her vehicle by being in her path, etc. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/165 "2012-10-11T15:11:07Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Now that I have my bike back, I’m afraid to ride… If I need therapy, those bills will be paid… Of course, any good therapist would tell me that I was an idiot for riding in the first place. Not true. A _good_ therapist is there to help you accomplish _your_ goals, whether or not they would have made the same choices. I think a couple of weeks of shakiness is pretty normal, but if it goes on for longer than that or it’s beginning to affect other activities (i.e. nightmares keeping you up, freaking out during non-driving moments) then you owe it to yourself to seek out mental health help. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/166 "2012-10-11T15:16:32Z")
Well, may the higher insurances rates paid by the bint and the payments made by the insurance company be a lesson to all those parties. Hope you are biking again normally soon, flatlined. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/167 "2012-10-11T15:20:53Z")
[quote=“flatlined, post:161, topic:634834”] Of course, any good therapist would tell me that I was an idiot for riding in the first place. QUOTE] Why? You wore your helmet and other gear, _you are a safe rider_. True, we do sometimes call bikers who ride w/o helmets a ‘rolling pool of organ donors’, but you’re not part of that group. Hell, I know a single Mom who drives a old style restored VW Beetle- now _that’s_ a death trap. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/168 "2012-10-12T01:30:46Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Update: > > My claim is still open. Now that I have my bike back, I’m afraid to ride. I can ride around the neighborhood, but when I got to the highway, I just couldn’t do it. If I need therapy, those bills will be paid. > > Of course, any good therapist would tell me that I was an idiot for riding in the first place. I fully intend to get back on the saddle again. The first time I started my bike, I was shaking so hard that I couldn’t work the choke. Now I can ride at 30 mph, but when I tried to make a right turn to get on the highway, I just couldn’t do it. > > 17 happy years of riding, and one stupid bint took all the pleasure out of it. Now it seems like a chore, something that I have to do, not something that I want to do. I don’t normally advise people to just swing off to therapy, but I really do wonder if you wouldn’t be much better off taking a few Cognitive Behavior Therapy sessions PDQ before you have too much time to internalize being “shaky” about riding on the freeway. On the one hand, you may settle down again quickly and get your sea legs back, on the other hand, you may find that as time goes on, you get more and more queasy because it’s had time to settle in. I’d rather bet pessimistically, especially since you’re spending stupid bint’s insurance money to do it. I really wish I’d taken a bit of time and had some therapy when I got rear-ended; I still have to drive in traffic, and the sight of a traffic-jam ahead of me still sends me into a cold shaking sweat three years later. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/169 "2012-10-12T02:23:44Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \ > > 17 happy years of riding, and one stupid bint took all the pleasure out of it. Now it seems like a chore, something that I have to do, not something that I want to do.\ Man, I’m sorry to hear that. It is totally unfair that someone else’s actions can negatively impact _your_ life and enjoyment, but that’s what has happened. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say this is post-traumatic stress for you - you could easily have died, and your body and mind know that very well. Your reaction seems completely reasonable to me, but if you want to keep riding, rehabilitating your reaction to riding will be part of your recovery, just like healing from your bruises. You’ve got a bruised self-confidence right now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/170 "2012-10-12T03:28:40Z")
Losts of snipping happens… > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > She might not have apologized to you, but I bet she is ever so sorry. I doubt that she’s learned anything, though. You are probably right that she didn’t learn anything. I know that she got the money demands from my lawyer, so those might have shook her up, but going by her attitude after she hit 2 vehicles…she didn’t care about the damage she caused, only about how it inconvenienced her. > [@mischievous](#): > > Not true. A _good_ therapist is there to help you accomplish _your_ goals, whether or not they would have made the same choices. I think a couple of weeks of shakiness is pretty normal, but if it goes on for longer than that or it’s beginning to affect other activities (i.e. nightmares keeping you up, freaking out during non-driving moments) then you owe it to yourself to seek out mental health help. I did not know this. I thought that a good therapist would want to keep their patients alive and safe, and everyone (including bikers) knows that riding is dangerous. > [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Well, may the higher insurances rates paid by the bint and the payments made by the insurance company be a lesson to all those parties. Hope you are biking again normally soon, flatlined. I didn’t want to lawyer up. Honestly, the only reason I did was because Bill called his friend. I might have argued about it except that everyone here was saying that it was what I should do. I have to say that I’m amazed that everything is going so fast. I expected that this would drag out for months or years. I’ve now learned that an experienced, aggressive lawyer is a good thing to have when needed. > [@DrDeth](#): > > Why? You wore your helmet and other gear, _you are a safe rider_. True, we do sometimes call bikers who ride w/o helmets a ‘rolling pool of organ donors’, but you’re not part of that group. Hell, I know a single Mom who drives a old style restored VW Beetle- now _that’s_ a death trap. One of my bestest riding buddies is an RN who used to ride in an ambulance. He is the biggest supporter of protective gear I’ve ever met, mostly because of this. When I was buying Bill his gear, I listened to the voice of experience and bought Bill Kevlar instead of leather. Less cool, but better protection. My Kevlar is much cooler 🙂 > [@Lasciel](#): > > I really wish I’d taken a bit of time and had some therapy when I got rear-ended; I still have to drive in traffic, and the sight of a traffic-jam ahead of me still sends me into a cold shaking sweat three years later. ☹ This is honestly what is worrying me. I was able to get on the highway a couple of days after the accident, but now I can’t. And I make up excuses to not ride. Its too cold, its too hot, nobody to ride with, it might rain. Now my best excuse is that I shouldn’t ride if I don’t feel safe. I had a friend bring my bike home from the shop because he is a mechanic and would know if there was anything wrong with the repairs. Its MY bike, I’m the one who would know if there was anything wrong/different. You are probably right that I should talk to someone about this. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say this is post-traumatic stress for you - you could easily have died, and your body and mind know that very well. Your reaction seems completely reasonable to me, but if you want to keep riding, rehabilitating your reaction to riding will be part of your recovery, just like healing from your bruises. You’ve got a bruised self-confidence right now. 🙂 This is the part that confuses me. I hit the ground a lot when I was learning to ride, and my protective gear was denim and a cheap helmet. I picked a lot of gravel out of my skin and still have some scars. I just got up, said bad words and hoped that my bike would start. Maybe its because I was 17 and knew that I would live forever. I also bounced a lot better back then. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/171 "2012-10-12T03:36:51Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > One of my bestest riding buddies is an RN who used to ride in an ambulance. He is the biggest supporter of protective gear I’ve ever met, mostly because of this. > > When I was buying Bill his gear, I listened to the voice of experience and bought Bill Kevlar instead of leather. Less cool, but better protection. My Kevlar is much cooler 🙂 > > This is honestly what is worrying me. I was able to get on the highway a couple of days after the accident, but now I can’t. And I make up excuses to not ride. Its too cold, its too hot, nobody to ride with, it might rain. Get your Kevlar wearing ass back out there or the stupid bint has won. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/172 "2012-10-12T04:17:16Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Get your Kevlar wearing ass back out there or the stupid bint has won. Snaps to sloppy Air Force attention and salutes. Sir, yes Sir! I am not going to lose something I love because of that stupid bint. (but its late and dark and cold and storming and I’ve always been afraid to ride in thunderstorms, can I wait until I get home from work tomorrow?) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/173 "2012-10-12T04:39:54Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Snaps to sloppy Air Force attention and salutes. Sir, yes Sir! > > I am not going to lose something I love because of that stupid bint. (but its late and dark and cold and storming and I’ve always been afraid to ride in thunderstorms, can I wait until I get home from work tomorrow?) Just a quick one around the block to show her and the thunderstorm who is boss, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/174 "2012-10-12T04:43:03Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I am not going to lose something I love because of that stupid bint. (but its late and dark and cold and storming and I’ve always been afraid to ride in thunderstorms, can I wait until I get home from work tomorrow?) **flatlined** , take all the time you want. What we’re all saying is that if it takes more time than \*\*you \*\*want it to, then there are ways to fix it. I’ve had cognitive behavioral therapy, and Pop-of-Andrew performs CBT (among other things), and I can absolutely say you would benefit from it. I can also tell you that getting clients able to take back a part of their life that they’ve lost (like riding) is a huge thrill for any therapist. And since you would take it seriously, you would be an easy client. If you need to, go talk to somebody. You’d get back on your bike – you’d give some therapist a sense of accomplishment – AND stupid bint would foot the bill. I’m not really seeing a downside here. ---
**Author:** ![azraiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@azraiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/azraiel)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/175 "2012-10-12T07:32:25Z")
Yo **flatlined** , I’m terribly sorry this happened to you. I hope you’re on your way to being made whole, and it reads like you have a decent start. Don’t stop until you are. What most impresses me is your empathy for the other victim in the case. Many people (and I wouldn’t blame them) would focus entirely on their own damages. Your repeated noting of the poor bastard in the oncoming lane is admirable. So here’s to you, and here’s to him. Two smart, defensive, and conscientious drivers who found themselves in an impossible situation, yet used all of their skills and intelligence to mitigate the damage. _raises glass_ May you both be whole soon. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/176 "2012-10-12T13:38:59Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I did not know this. I thought that a good therapist would want to keep their patients alive and safe, and everyone (including bikers) knows that riding is dangerous. Well, I think most therapists will try to discourage actively self-destructive behaviors, but any therapists worth their salt knows that risk is part of the joy in life. They are not there to nag you into living a perfectly safe, perfectly sane, perfectly healthy life - they are there to help you get over your own blocks and let you life the life _you_ were aiming for. At least that’s what mine has been working on. He doesn’t seem to be doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/177 "2012-10-12T18:03:07Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Well, I think most therapists will try to discourage actively self-destructive behaviors, but any therapists worth their salt knows that risk is part of the joy in life. They are not there to nag you into living a perfectly safe, perfectly sane, perfectly healthy life - they are there to help you get over your own blocks and let you life the life _you_ were aiming for. There are some things that therapists are legally and ethically required to report. If a patient reveals they are imminently going to break the law or have done so in the past, or are a threat to themselves, or if the therapist becomes aware of another therapist breaking these requirements (such as by engaging in a relationship with a client). These may depend on jurisdiction. However, something like motorcycle riding is unlikely to come up unless the client considers it to be problematic, though the therapist may discuss risk factors and (perhaps) perceived behavioural control. If you’re worried about therapy, you may want to go to a person-centered therapist, they’re quite possibly the least judgmental humans in existence. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/178 "2012-10-12T18:24:31Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \ > This is the part that confuses me. I hit the ground a lot when I was learning to ride, and my protective gear was denim and a cheap helmet. I picked a lot of gravel out of my skin and still have some scars. I just got up, said bad words and hoped that my bike would start. > > Maybe its because I was 17 and knew that I would live forever. I also bounced a lot better back then. I think what happens when you have a near miss like that is that the old, lizard part of your brain has now learned, with no doubt at all, that this is a pasttime that could kill you. Your more modern brain has always known that in the abstract, but now you KNOW that. The challenge will be integrating your lizard brain that is saying, “Don’t do it! It could kill us!” with your modern brain that’s saying, “Yeah, so can walking down the street. We like to ride, so we’re going to keep doing it.” Being 17 when you learned to ride is also part of it, I’d say - I was also invulnerable and immortal when I was 17.🙂 I’ve had a few injuries and near misses since then, and I am a lot more cautious about a lot more things now. Or see a qualified therapist - I’m talking out of my ass as usual. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/179 "2012-10-12T18:41:52Z")
Randomly, in the UK, CBT also stands for ‘Compulsory Basic Training’, which is what you have to do to legally drive a motorbike. Hope you get back on the road soon, by whatever means! Don’t let the bint ruin something you enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834/180 "2012-10-13T00:47:45Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Well, I think most therapists will try to discourage actively self-destructive behaviors, but any therapists worth their salt knows that risk is part of the joy in life. They are not there to nag you into living a perfectly safe, perfectly sane, perfectly healthy life - they are there to help you get over your own blocks and let you life the life _you_ were aiming for. > > At least that’s what mine has been working on. He doesn’t seem to be doing it wrong. Ditto here - it took a lot of work to deal with how much my world has shrunken in the last few years, and at no time did my therapist hold me back from anything I wanted to do, even if it meant I might get hurt. I think they are there more for you mind and soul than your body. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-bet-you-would-drive-better-with-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/634834.md?page=10)