# i'll do something nice for the first doper who brings me soup... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008 "2001-07-19T02:49:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/1 "2001-07-19T02:49:49Z")
I’m sick, and miserable, and dying. I have something between a 24 hour flu, and mono. I went to the doctor’s today, and they took a strep test, which came back negative. I’m miserable. I’m staying with my mom, so I wouldn’t have to be sick alone. Neither my mom nor my little sister will take care of me…all I want is a bowl of soup! So, I’m offering a blowjob to the first doper who will come cook me a bowl of soup. If you’re against the germs, well, I’ll give you an I.O.U. Please, I’m desperate… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/2 "2001-07-19T02:51:28Z")
I would give you a bowl of soup, no blowjob needed. My only question is, what if the first Doper to bring you soup is a female? Are you gonna make her wear a strap-on? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/3 "2001-07-19T02:51:42Z")
Aw, heck. I’ll bring you a bowl of soup. And you wouldn’t even have to give me a blowjob (unless you wanted to). I’d do it gratis. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/4 "2001-07-19T02:56:57Z")
Aww honey, I have a freezer full of chicken soup I made last weekend. I’d bring you some. Even if I were a man, I would pass on the oral sex. I’ll just bet you look all hot and sexy with those kleenexes hanging outta your nose and bleary eyes… ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/5 "2001-07-19T02:58:43Z")
Hey Pammi, sorry to hear you’re feeling sick. Are you living in Fall River yet? Cause I’d bring you soup…no blow job required. 😉 Rose ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/6 "2001-07-19T02:58:58Z")
Wouldn’t it just be quicker to make your own soup? I mean, if you’re healthy enough for blowjobs, you should be able to operate a can opener and a microwave. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/7 "2001-07-19T03:03:15Z")
**Silver Fire** : Have you no romance? Don’t you know a guy wants to be needed every now and then? Hey, I have a recipe for chicken and andouilee gumbo I’ve been wanting to try… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/8 "2001-07-19T03:05:15Z")
Oops. “Andouille”. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/9 "2001-07-19T03:31:34Z")
Aww…you guys are all so sweet. I love you all! I love the little birdies flying around too…have I mentioned I’m getting delirious? And Wicked Blue, I’m in Fall River, but I’m staying at my mom’s in Bridgewater until I get better. Being sick and alone didn’t sound like very much fun. If you’re ever on King Phillip’s Street though, do drop by, I’ll pour you a glass of water or something. (Hey, I just moved in…I don’t have much for food yet…) Any time you’re in the area though, do feel free to give me a call. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/10 "2001-07-19T03:35:19Z")
Yay Bridgewater! My alma mater. And yay to Da Riv too, lived there for a bit! Hope you feel better, **Pammi**. I’m still in CA, so no soup for you! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/11 "2001-07-19T03:42:48Z")
Arrgh, these kinds of things never happen within driving distance. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/12 "2001-07-19T04:45:30Z")
Driving distance schmiving distance, I’m getting my butt on Vanguard A-sap! And I’ll bet she gives great head too. I mean, she works at Mickey-Ds, home of the cement shake. You suck for three hours on those things and you _might_ get a few molecules to work their way up the straw. But, she’s probably had enough practice on shakes, she’ll suck your small intestine straight through your urethra if you give her half a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/13 "2001-07-19T04:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\ ***Silver Fire** : Have you no romance? Nope, can’t say I do. ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/14 "2001-07-19T05:01:30Z")
I guess the big question here is, are your sinuses plugged up? ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/15 "2001-07-19T05:03:29Z")
Ender, thank you. I can’t stop laughing now, and that’s taking my mind off being sick. For that, you’ll get 2 blowjobs. And a milkshake. ---
**Author:** ![Linear\_Crack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Linear\_Crack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linear_Crack)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/16 "2001-07-19T05:07:50Z")
Why don’t I just kill two birds with one stone and bring over **Cream of Me Soup**!! _4 out of 5 doctors recommend it, mother approved!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/17 "2001-07-19T05:09:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pammipoo \* > **I’m sick, and miserable, and dying. I have…a 24 hour flu** You want to infect the entire board? Shame on you. I’ll happily supply all necessary soporifics, but I’ll take a rain check on the oral sex 'til you’re not infectious. Hope your ISP accepts soup as well as cookies 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/18 "2001-07-19T05:23:13Z")
I couldn’t find a soup delivery service so I sent the pizza guy over instead. I leave it up to you whether to tip him or not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/19 "2001-07-19T05:51:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pammipoo \* > \*\*Ender, thank you. I can’t stop laughing now, and that’s taking my mind off being sick. For that, you’ll get 2 blowjobs. And a milkshake. \*\* Don’t think I’m not holding you to this! And, FYI, your webpage link doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008/20 "2001-07-19T07:20:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Enderw24** \* > And, FYI, your webpage link doesn’t work. Didn’t work for me either. All I got was some chaotic nuttiness about a monkey, and pink, and leg humpers. Clearly the creation of a mentally unstable person (or people). Try to update that link, would you? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-do-something-nice-for-the-first-doper-who-brings-me-soup/73008.md?page=2)