# I'll have a Santorum Salad, extra froth please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 2, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195 "2012-01-02T23:01:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/1 "2012-01-02T23:01:28Z")
A manager at a Pizza Ranch in Iowa has [re-named his restaurant’s chicken salad the “Santorum Salad.”](http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/updates/3354) How many jokes can we come up with? And…go! -Santorum has a Google problem, this guy has a serious marketing problem, and if I took a bite of a salad with the word “Santorum,” I’d have a dry heaving problem. -Don’t tell the customers, but it’s really just a tossed salad with a little extra sauce. ---
**Author:** ![UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/46a35a/32.png) [@UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UFC_Is_Sux)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/2 "2012-01-02T23:05:52Z")
Mind you, the sauce has a bit of a wang to it … ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/3 "2012-01-02T23:07:04Z")
Hold the dressing on mine… ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/4 "2012-01-02T23:11:47Z")
Excuse me, I believe I ordered mine without the anchovy … ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/5 "2012-01-02T23:17:00Z")
“Why does this taste like my wife’s ass?” “Your wife’s ass tastes like Miracle Whip?” ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/6 "2012-01-02T23:18:39Z")
I beg the Pizza Ranch manager not to rename the sticky cinnamon bun dessert. Please, just leave it be. Ah, Pizza Ranch. Two words that really go together; just like Vomit Tornado. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/7 "2012-01-02T23:23:22Z")
Even with the name change, it’s still the most appetizing thing on the menu. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/8 "2012-01-03T00:16:47Z")
Fromunda cheese on the side, please. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/9 "2012-01-03T00:20:39Z")
So who gets the job of tossing the salads at that joint? ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/10 "2012-01-03T00:23:51Z")
As long as they don’t toss the salads WITH their joints. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/11 "2012-01-03T01:00:28Z")
Probably will be a big hit with assholes. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/12 "2012-01-03T01:23:49Z")
would you like your carrot whole or sliced? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/13 "2012-01-03T02:56:42Z")
How timely - I was just explaining to my innocent, unworldly husband that Rick Santorum can never be president because his name is also a sex act. I didn’t, however, know that he’s also a type of salad. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/14 "2012-01-03T03:03:25Z")
No, his name is the residue of a sex act. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/15 "2012-01-03T03:22:01Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > No, his name is the residue of a sex act. I’m just glad Doug Smegma decided to sit this election out. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/16 "2012-01-03T03:24:54Z")
It’s probably for the best. I always found him a bit cheesy. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/17 "2012-01-03T03:40:20Z")
Santorum is a good example of what can happen when an asshole runs. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/18 "2012-01-03T03:43:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > How timely - I was just explaining to my innocent, unworldly husband that Rick Santorum can never be president because his name is also a sex act. It is? Ignorance fought, but please don’t link me to Urban Ductionary. That site’s already scarred me for life. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/19 "2012-01-03T03:50:35Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > It is? > > Ignorance fought, but please don’t link me to Urban Ductionary. That site’s already scarred me for life. Forget the Urban Dictionary, just try Google. It’s the first result. ---
**Author:** ![sangfroid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@sangfroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangfroid)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195/20 "2012-01-03T04:29:12Z")
“Come try the Santorum - It’s packed with flavor!” “Buy 5, Get 1 Free with your Packer Card!” (be sure to get your hole punched with each visit) “Pizza Ranch’s Santorum Salad - Flavorful chunks, creamy dressing, and just enough fiber to keep you running like a top!” Seriously…chicken, mayo and Santorum? The jokes write themselves… 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-a-santorum-salad-extra-froth-please/608195.md?page=2)