# "I'll have to explain it to my children!" Acceptable Justification? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [June 5, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909 "2008-06-05T17:31:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/1 "2008-06-05T17:31:36Z")
I’ve read a number of news reports recently about a lesbian couple who were threatened with expulsion from a Mariners baseball game. (An example of such a story is [here](http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/jamieson/365294_robert31.html).) The point of this thread, however, is not about this particular incident but rather something that I kept coming across as I read several related articles. From the linked article: > [@](#): > > Guerrero, a cocktail waitress who lives in Seattle, said the man added, “There’s children in the crowd. It’s not fair for parents to have to explain to their kids why two women are kissing.” This is not the first time I’ve come across this attitude, that discrimination is right and justified when the alternative is having to explain things to children. This is difficult for me to understand. So I ask, is having to explain things to children a rational and acceptable reason to act in a discriminatory manner? I’m not talking legalities here but rather is it morally justified? I think it’s not, but given that I run across it so frequently (or so it seems to me), I can’t help but believe that some do think it’s acceptable. How 'bout you? JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/2 "2008-06-05T17:35:16Z")
We can’t expect people to have to explain things to their children! That’s what TV is for! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/3 "2008-06-05T17:37:33Z")
Shall we outlaw death? It’s not fair for parents to have to explain to their kids why grandma won’t be visiting any more. It ain’t about the kids. Kids can cope with reality, because they don’t know that it used to be any different. It’s a self-serving argument made by squeamish parents who want to pretend homosexuals don’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/4 "2008-06-05T17:39:37Z")
It’s morally unjustified, and intellectually unjustifiable. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/5 "2008-06-05T17:41:05Z")
Having had young children in the distant past, if asked by any of them why two women were kissing, I would have said, “It’s because they like each other.” Is any more explanation need than that? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/6 "2008-06-05T17:42:47Z")
And really, does anybody have to explain _everything_ to their kids? My parents would tell me stuff like “I’ll explain when you’re older” when I asked about subjects they considered too mature for me to hear about. Was there a law passed since I was a kid that prevents parents from saying that today to their kids? ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/7 "2008-06-05T17:43:01Z")
I don’t really see how it’s any harder to explain two woman kissing then it is two explain hetero kissing. ---
**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/8 "2008-06-05T17:46:56Z")
Kids don’t think something is a big deal until they are told it’s a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/9 "2008-06-05T17:47:54Z")
[QUOTE=Simplicio] I don’t really see how it’s any harder to explain two woman kissing then it is two explain hetero kissing. [/QUOTE] No – that’s harder, because (with straight people) kissing can lead to sex, and sex can lead to babies. Best not explain all that to young children! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/10 "2008-06-05T17:49:42Z")
“Those two ladies on the other side of the stadium? Oh, they’re doing that for Daddy, because they know Daddy thinks it’s hot.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/11 "2008-06-05T17:53:03Z")
[QUOTE=kittenlm] Kids don’t think something is a big deal until they are told it’s a big deal. [/QUOTE] Back when Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction, Lewis Black thought that it was more psychologically damaging to children to see adults freak the hell out over an exposed breast than to see the breast itself. I agree with that wholeheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/12 "2008-06-05T17:54:04Z")
No, absolutely not justified. However, one of the lesbians, Sirbrina Guerrero, owes us an explanation for “A Shot at Love.” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/13 "2008-06-05T17:55:01Z")
They, themselves, are embarrassed to explain it. It’s not about the kids-- they can handle new stuff just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/14 "2008-06-05T17:55:20Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] No – that’s harder, because (with straight people) kissing can lead to sex, and sex can lead to babies. Best not explain all that to young children! [/QUOTE] With two women it can still lead to sex. “Well honey, when a girl and a girl love each other very much, they go off and…scissor or something.” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/15 "2008-06-05T18:13:58Z")
From the linked article - > [@](#): > > Sirbrina Guerrero, 23, went to the Mariners game Monday on a date with a 21-year-old woman who is still in the closet. Not real far in the closet, if she is kissing another woman at a public event. Wasn’t there some WNBA star who called a press conference to tell people that her sexual orientation was a deeply private matter? _:shrugs:_ Can’t think of a better place than a sports arena to explain the concept of “playing for the other team”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/16 "2008-06-05T18:21:26Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] From the linked article -Not real far in the closet, if she is kissing another woman at a public event. [/QUOTE] As I mentioned in the OP, I’m more interested in the whole “explain it to the children” excuse, not the incident in the linked article. I linked the article to give an example of someone justifying their discriminatory behavior with “I’ll have to explain it to the children!!!” Is this in your mind an acceptable reason to treat people in discriminatory ways? JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/17 "2008-06-05T18:22:36Z")
Did you miss **Shodan** ’s last line? ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/18 "2008-06-05T18:30:02Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] Did you miss **Shodan** ’s last line? [/QUOTE] I did see it, but I found it hard to tell if it was simply a witticism or an actual statement of belief. Given that the rest of the response seemed to be a digression, I guess I presumed the former rather than the latter. JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/19 "2008-06-05T18:41:56Z")
[QUOTE=Revtim] And really, does anybody have to explain _everything_ to their kids? My parents would tell me stuff like “I’ll explain when you’re older” when I asked about subjects they considered too mature for me to hear about. Was there a law passed since I was a kid that prevents parents from saying that today to their kids? [/QUOTE] Quite right. Lots of things are going to happen in public places in a vibrant, pluralistic society that some might object to; that’s not to say those things should be banned either by law or custom. In my neck o’ the woods, anyone can kiss anyone else they want to in public, and God bless 'em. Anything more might lead to the time-honored call of “Get a room!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909/20 "2008-06-05T19:14:01Z")
[QUOTE=jkusters] I did see it, but I found it hard to tell if it was simply a witticism or an actual statement of belief. [/QUOTE] Both, actually - I do a lot of that. If women want to kiss in public, then I would expect them to have a lower set of expectations as far as their ability to keep their private life private, which is why I mentioned it. I was wondering what their motivation might have been, given some presumed desire to stay private. Maybe it is some Lesbian Avengers stuff, or perhaps they were looking to _épater les bourgeois_. Who knows? But if they do choose to kiss in public, then there can be a range of proper responses, ranging from “women can love women, and don’t you forget it!” thru “a lesbian is a person who loves women like mommy loves daddy - some people think this is fine, others disagree” up to “some people are weirdos, dear”. I suppose much the same standard can be applied to heterosexual couples. There is certainly a line beyond which playing tonsil hockey in public is inappropriate, but I doubt it varies with gender. Regards, Shodan [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-have-to-explain-it-to-my-children-acceptable-justification/451909.md?page=2)