# "I'll pray for you." Management Says "Not On My Watch!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 3, 2023, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109 "2023-04-03T23:35:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/161 "2023-04-06T16:25:35Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I’m of two minds about this. I guess I could see why some people might not like to hear someone tell them they’ll pray for them. Me personally, I don’t care. If you tell me you’re going to pray for me I’m going to take it in the same spirit as you telling me “good luck” or “I’m sorry.” You could tell me you’ll pray to Apollo and Aesclepius that my gout goes away and I’ll be perfectly comfortable with that. But apparently some people are either offended or management is going overboard to make sure nobody is offended. Saying “I’ll pray for you” can be well-intentioned, but it’s also often used as a passive-aggressive condemnation (i.e. you’re a really terrible person, I’ll pray that Jesus fixes you, and fixes you good). Given the dual valence of the phrase, and the fact that religion in the workplace is generally fraught and unnecessary, it’s all downside with no upside. I don’t think non-religious people should need to spend a single minute wondering if they’re being blessed or cursed by someone else’s personal rituals. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/162 "2023-04-06T16:34:51Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Complete sincerity in giving “thoughts and prayers” even though you say you are an atheist? One of us is a little confused as to the definition of “sincerity”, I think. Don’t over think it, prayers can go anywhere to anything, in complete sincerity. And yes you are confused about my being unchurched, calling me an atheist but if you were trying to shoot a little micro aggression my way by saying so, you missed. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/163 "2023-04-06T16:35:26Z")
Such an interesting deity tell me more. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/164 "2023-04-06T16:35:48Z")
Sure thing, but I can’t take credit for it being _my_ analogy. I learned about it here on the Straight Dope. I do find it useful to show that such deference isn’t usually given for all hobbies, just ones that involve religion. As you have said in this thread, there is no “polite” way of saying that you don’t believe in god, even if it is said in exactly the same way that you _can_ politely say that you don’t collect stamps. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/165 "2023-04-06T16:52:23Z")
> [@chela](#): > > And yes you are confused about my being unchurched, calling me an atheist but if you were trying to shoot a little micro aggression my way by saying so, you missed. I think it was more that you were speaking as though you were an atheist, if you are not, then your comments are completely irrelevant. > [@chela](#): > > Such an interesting deity tell me more. That’s the beauty of it, you can just make up whatever you want to believe, no matter how removed from reality it is. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/166 "2023-04-06T16:54:53Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > In your experience of “ordinary human discourse” in your area, would that presumption apply if the statement is “I’ll pray to Allah for you” or “I’ll pray to the Goddess for you”? I didn’t really understand the question at first because it doesn’t matter to me but I guess you would include lines like “I’ll pray to Jesus for you” in that category. Where I live it’s unlikely that I’d encounter such phrases but I’ve been around, including the Bible Belt where explicitly referencing Jesus is more common. And when a specific deity is named I tend to think that person is not being considerate of those with other beliefs. At the same time I think that they might intend no offense and simply are common Americans, IOW selfish and narrow minded. But if it’s someone I don’t know, and don’t have a specific reason to believe they mean anything but a polite response to news of a tragedy in your life I’m not going to waste my time worrying about it. And it’s not surprising that I don’t hear about praying to Allah or the Goddess, this is a largely Christian country with some limited acceptance of Judaism, so I wouldn’t expect to hear other references to other religions very often because they may tend to produce rude responses from those common Americans. But all of this runs far from the OP. The word ‘pray’ should not even be offensive to atheists. Atheists can pray. I’m an agnatheist and I still pray even though I don’t think there is any point to it, it’s equivalent to wishing for something. On top of that I would expect a large percentage of people who say they’ll pray for somebody don’t do any such thing anyway. But still, I’m not going to assume someone intends offense, or even understands what they are saying can be considered offensive if they respond in such way to learning of sad news in my life. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/167 "2023-04-06T17:20:51Z")
> [@chela](#): > > I can still imagine how exhausting it is to burden oneself with feeling perceived slights from something basically harmless as an offer of thoughts and prayers or god bless you. This is not a decision I’m making for the fun of it; or, actually, a decision I’m making in that fashion at all, any more than I could decide not to be bothered by people who want to hug me when I find that particular hug repellent. And it is you who is deciding, apparently under the delusion that this is a decision that you’re entitled to make, that this is entirely harmless. It’s been explained repeatedly in this thread, by multiple people, why it isn’t harmless. Is it _intended_ to be harmless? In most cases, yes. But that doesn’t make it so. > [@k9bfriender](#): > > I will admit it’s not something that I’d think that _everyone_ knows, but it is something that I’d think that those generally participating in discussions about the rights of religion in a secular society would have come across. Perhaps the thing you’ve learned today is that that isn’t so? > [@k9bfriender](#): > > I can’t take credit for it being _my_ analogy. I learned about it here on the Straight Dope. > > I do find it useful to show that such deference isn’t usually given for all hobbies, just ones that involve religion. It might have been, if you’d come in here and started off with the analogy, instead of just assuming that everybody already knew it. > [@chela](#): > > And yes you are confused about my being unchurched, calling me an atheist but if you were trying to shoot a little micro aggression my way by saying so, you missed. Why do you think that assuming someone is an atheist is an act of aggression, since you don’t appear to recognize that assuming someone is religious can be one? > [@TriPolar](#): > > > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > > > In your experience of “ordinary human discourse” in your area, would that presumption apply if the statement is “I’ll pray to Allah for you” or “I’ll pray to the Goddess for you”? > > I didn’t really understand the question at first because it doesn’t matter to me Again, I wasn’t asking it it mattered to you. I was asking what reception you thought it would get in general. > [@TriPolar](#): > > when a specific deity is named I tend to think that person is not being considerate of those with other beliefs. Why only a specific deity? “Other beliefs” include “no deity”; as well as deities who don’t respond to prayer. > [@TriPolar](#): > > it’s not surprising that I don’t hear about praying to Allah or the Goddess, this is a largely Christian country with some limited acceptance of Judaism, so I wouldn’t expect to hear other references to other religions very often because they may tend to produce rude responses from those common Americans. Ah. There we go. Precisely my point. Not only the belief in God, but even that the belief is indeed in a specific deity, is very often the basic assumption; and any response that doesn’t go along with taking that assumption for granted is very likely to be taken as being rude. > [@TriPolar](#): > > But all of this runs far from the OP. The word ‘pray’ should not even be offensive to atheists. Atheists can pray. I’m an agnatheist and I still pray even though I don’t think there is any point to it, it’s equivalent to wishing for something. I haven’t got a poll on the subject; but I doubt most atheists feel that way about it. And in any case, I very much doubt that most of the people offering to pray are atheists. They’re using the word, quite intentionally, in a religious sense. > [@TriPolar](#): > > But still, I’m not going to assume someone intends offense, or even understands what they are saying can be considered offensive I’m not going to assume it either. But I’m in this thread trying to explain to those reading it (whether or not posting) why it may well come across as offensive anyway – or, at any rate, as accomplishing the reverse of what they’re trying to accomplish. If I think the person means well, I’m not offended specifically at that person. But I’m still uncomfortable. If one doesn’t want to make people uncomfortable when one’s intention is to comfort them: then don’t do that. If one doesn’t care if one makes people uncomfortable while claiming to want to comfort them: then that is offensive. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/168 "2023-04-06T17:23:16Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > At the same time I think that they might intend no offense and simply are common Americans, IOW selfish and narrow minded. And that’s more or less the point. The atheist is not _offended_ by the invocation of one’s favored deity. They just think that the one doing so is selfish and narrowminded. > [@TriPolar](#): > > But if it’s someone I don’t know, and don’t have a specific reason to believe they mean anything but a polite response to news of a tragedy in your life I’m not going to waste my time worrying about it. Right, I know they don’t mean anything by it. Anything at all. It’s just meaningless words that spew from their mouth with no thought behind them. They don’t care about your loss, they just want to give the standard “polite response” so that they can go about their day feeling better about themselves, while not giving a shit about _you_. Once again, it doesn’t offend, it just tells me who they really are. > [@TriPolar](#): > > so I wouldn’t expect to hear other references to other religions very often because they may tend to produce rude responses from those common Americans. Yes, and that’s kinda the point. It would be rude to respond to a christian blessing with anything but thanks, but a non-christian blessing will be met with rudeness. It’s hypocritical, and is only acceptable because christianity is the dominant religion, and any show of less than absolute deference is considered to be rude. > [@TriPolar](#): > > The word ‘pray’ should not even be offensive to atheists. Point is, it’s not _offensive_, we just find it silly, and the people who invoke it to be silly. What generally happens is that the _theist_ gets offended that we aren’t grateful for their offering of prayer. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Atheists can pray. I’m an agnatheist and I still pray even though I don’t think there is any point to it, it’s equivalent to wishing for something. And wishing for something is pointless as well. If you suffered a loss, and someone said, “I’ll wish on a star tonight for you.” how seriously would you take them? What if they used their birthday wish? > [@TriPolar](#): > > On top of that I would expect a large percentage of people who say they’ll pray for somebody don’t do any such thing anyway. Which makes the sentiment even more meaningless. Not only are they wanting me to appreciate their offer to do something useless, they probably aren’t even going to do it. > [@TriPolar](#): > > But still, I’m not going to assume someone intends offense, or even understands what they are saying can be considered offensive if they respond in such way to learning of sad news in my life. Once again, it’s usually the theist who is the one that gets offended in such a situation, because their offer of prayer, which they probably won’t even follow through on, isn’t greeted with effusive thanks for the wonderful blessing they have offered. As has been said, if someone says that they will pray for me, and I tell them, “Thanks, but I don’t believe in god.” the person who offered to pray will be offended by my remark. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/169 "2023-04-06T17:27:38Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > If HR is encouraging people to think about that, and recognize the inappropriateness of just lazily expecting other people who don’t share your personal spiritual beliefs to recognize that you “mean well” when you gratuitously drag them into conversation, that’s a good thing. When someone is in emotional pain, they really don’t need to do the emotional labor to get to “but he means well.” If you want to comfort someone, remove that burden from them and try to comfort them on their terms, not yours. And if you don’t know what their terms are, the most generic thing possible - “I’m so sorry.” “I’m sorry for your loss” or whatever. That’s why we have stupid platitudes for these occasions. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/170 "2023-04-06T17:42:41Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Perhaps the thing you’ve learned today is that that isn’t so? Eh, in many of these discussions, the analogy comes up, so I would still think that those generally participating in such discussions would be aware of it. That doesn’t mean that _everyone_ is, just as, while it is generally known, not everyone is aware of the Mentos and Coke thing. And now you’ve learned about a useful analogy that can be used to show that hobbies are treated differently if you can invoke god’s blessings upon them. > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > It might have been, if you’d come in here and started off with the analogy, instead of just assuming that everybody already knew it. I thought post #127 was pretty obviously an analogy as a response to miller’s post about not having any polite way to explicitly state that one doesn’t believe in god. Why did you think I was just randomly talking about stamps? Even if you hadn’t ever heard of anyone else using it before, it seems fairly straightforward that I was making one. I really thought that you _had_, as you chose to respond to it. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/171 "2023-04-06T17:45:17Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > And if you don’t know what their terms are, the most generic thing possible - “I’m so sorry.” “I’m sorry for your loss” or whatever. How about, “I know that in this time, it’s hard to concentrate on daily chores, so can I bring you dinner tonight? I’ll bring a chicken cassarole unless you’d rather have something else.” Something that shows you actually care, something that shows you are willing to actually _do_ something. Not just meaningless platitudes that further burden those suffering from a loss. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/172 "2023-04-06T17:48:53Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Eh, in many of these discussions, the analogy comes up, so I would still think that those generally participating in such discussions would be aware of it. Can you link me to a few? I’d like to see the thing actually used, not just referred to. > [@k9bfriender](#): > > Even if you hadn’t ever heard of anyone else using it before, it seems fairly straightforward that I was making one. I really thought that you _had_, as you chose to respond to it. I would think that my response to it would have made it clear that I hadn’t run into it before. Why else have we been having this discussion? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/173 "2023-04-06T17:53:19Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Ah. There we go. Precisely my point. > [@k9bfriender](#): > > And that’s more or less the point. The atheist is not _offended_ by the invocation of one’s favored deity. They just think that the one doing so is selfish and narrowminded. So where else are you going to live? If I let this level of ignorance in the average American bother me then I’d become the same kind of idiot they are. Common Americans say and do so many more offensive things besides praying for me and being inconsiderate of my own spiritual beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/174 "2023-04-06T17:59:47Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > So where else are you going to live? “My country. Right the wrongs.” I live here. I ain’t going anywhere. But things can change – and in fact have changed massively during my lifetime. None of those changes happened because people decided to just put up with the way things were. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/175 "2023-04-06T18:01:08Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > > [@Dangerosa](#): > > > > And if you don’t know what their terms are, the most generic thing possible - “I’m so sorry.” “I’m sorry for your loss” or whatever. > > How about, “I know that in this time, it’s hard to concentrate on daily chores, so can I bring you dinner tonight? I’ll bring a chicken cassarole unless you’d rather have something else.” For a friend, maybe, but the context of this thread, or at least its OP, is “what to say to employees,” which could be someone whose relationship with you is entirely professional, and possibly hierarchical. In such a case, would an offer to bring them dinner seem intrusive and inappropriate? ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/176 "2023-04-06T18:16:36Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Once, when I said in reply to something else. “I have no faith, I’m too skeptical probably”; I had a coworker tell me “I’ll pray for you”. That was really pushing it. Pushing it? It would piss me off, and I’m not even an atheist. The reason is that it is condescending. Translation: “You’re on the road to hell, heathen, but in my magnanimity, I shall pray to save your soul.” I’ve experienced this in conversations centering around women’s rights and Pro Choice in particular. Being Pro Choice, I’ve been told more than once that they would pray for my soul because I support murdering children. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/177 "2023-04-06T18:30:38Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Can you link me to a few? I’d like to see the thing actually used, not just referred to. Sure, SDMB’s search sucks, so here’s a few minutes of effort. (But more effort than a prayer.) > [@A pitting for Paul\_was\_in\_Saudi](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pitting-for-paul-was-in-saudi/946791/20): > > So true! As an atheist myself, I’m happy to tell you that my main hobby is not collecting stamps. What, not collecting stamps isn’t a hobby? How dare you! It’s as much of a hobby as atheism is a religion. > [@In every thread about xxxx, someone always posts yyyy](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-every-thread-about-xxxx-someone-always-posts-yyyy/947462/35): > > Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby. Apparently it is well enough known that it makes the “in every xxxx someone posts yyyy thread.” > [@What difference would it make if Atheist ruled the world?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-difference-would-it-make-if-atheist-ruled-the-world/670188/121): > > What I want to know is what the world would be like if all the people who don’t collect stamps ran it. Those a-stamp-collectors surely have a lot in common. For example: They don’t collect stamps Uh, they breathe, eat, reproduce? … Profit! Whoa, lost track of my internet memes there. Sorry. I know there’s more out there, but this has already taken me far more than the few minutes I originally intended. > [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I would think that my response to it would have made it clear that I hadn’t run into it before. Why else have we been having this discussion? I was thinking that you were following the analogy, and that you were more optimistic than I about how such a comment would be received. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/178 "2023-04-06T18:52:56Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > So where else are you going to live? Ah, the 'ol love it or leave it argument. Never gets old. (But that’s because it was old the first time it was trotted out.) > [@TriPolar](#): > > If I let this level of ignorance in the average American bother me then I’d become the same kind of idiot they are Once again, the concern is not that I am bothered by their ignorance, it is that they will act offended if I don’t give proper deference to _their_ beliefs. You are getting the whole offense thing exactly backwards. Maybe you should ask them why _they_ would get offended by the words, “I don’t believe in god.” rather than continuing to wrongly insist that I am the one offended by their beliefs. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Common Americans say and do so many more offensive things besides praying for me and being inconsiderate of my own spiritual beliefs. Yes, they do, especially if you are so inconsiderate to not share those beliefs. > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > In such a case, would an offer to bring them dinner seem intrusive and inappropriate? I suppose I was talking in general. While someone telling a co-worker that they are praying for them is annoying, it coming from HR would be extremely inappropriate. In the case of HR, they should say, “If you need to take some time off, I will take care of your PTO paperwork.” And that brings up the point that it’s not even about religion. It’s about someone who is in pain having to suffer an endlress barrage of people wanting to make themselves feel better by offering meaningless words. Whether they are “sorry for your loss” or, “Jesus will get you through this.” the point is that you aren’t doing _anything_ to help the person, absolutly nothign, and yet, you expect at least a thanks in return. If you don’t actually _do_ something for them, it’s about you, not about them, and there is no reason why they should carry the burden that you foist upon them with platitudes. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/179 "2023-04-06T18:55:13Z")
Man, I must just love that analogy! I’ll switch to baldness being a hair color from now on. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2023, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109/180 "2023-04-06T18:56:06Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I’ve experienced this in conversations centering around women’s rights and Pro Choice in particular. Being Pro Choice, I’ve been told more than once that they would pray for my soul because I support murdering children I’ve received those prayers, and I’ve also received benign prayers for the physical health of a family member. I can generally tell which I’m getting. Of course the first one is insulting, I’m sure it’s intended to be insulting. The second generally isn’t, and while prayer isn’t my thing, when friends offer me those prayers i say, “thank you”, and i mean it. Because i recognize that it’s an expression of care for me, even if it doesn’t take the form i would use. Nonetheless, i would prefer that coworkers (who don’t also happen to be friends) offer a note generic statement of concern, like, “oh, I’m so sorry, that must be difficult for you.” I don’t want to be guessing what coworkers mean when I’m in a difficult situation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-pray-for-you-management-says-not-on-my-watch/982109.md?page=10)