# I'll take Self-Delusion for 400, Alex. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936 "2010-03-02T00:13:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/41 "2010-03-03T19:11:41Z")
Recently talked to an ex that I hadn’t spoken with since the breakup, which was years and years ago. He thinks that, if the distance hadn’t been put between us, we could have stayed a couple and been good for each other. To put it bluntly, when he mentioned this, I was a little shocked at the stupidity of this idea. Looking back on the relationship, I broke up with him well after I should have, as our differing interests and POVs on just about everything kept us arguing with each other and I often found myself bored when hanging out with him doing stuff that _he_ liked to do. I’m pretty sure that there was really only one thing that had kept us together that whole time, and it was the sexual compatibility. Not a good thing to base a relationship on… ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/42 "2010-03-03T19:20:48Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > when she has said she made mistakes that led to our break-up, those aren’t the mistakes I would point to. I’ve told her all my reasons numerous times, but it just goes in one ear and out the other. Her: I know I’ve made mistakes Palindrome. I always made you feel inadequte… **palindromemordnilap** : We broke up because you never listened to me. Her: And I never let you hang out with the guys for Monday night football… **P** : No, it was that you never listened to me. Her: I was too controlling… **P** : No, you never listened to me. Her: I didn’t take you seriously **P** : You never… l-i-s-t-e-n-e-d spells “listened”… to me! Her: I didn’t like your mom… **P** : ::headdesk:: LISTENED! ::headdesk:: LISTENED! ::headdesk:: LISTENED! Her: I didn’t let you keep that puppy that followed you home… ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/43 "2010-03-03T21:30:35Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > She had told me that the issue was that A had ongoing problems with getting/keeping a job, and the ones he got tended to be short-term temp jobs telemarketing, etc (he’s in his late thirties). Because of this, she has been having to cover all the rent/bills, which had put her in serious debt. Oh, and he never actually looked for a job, he just played video games and smoked pot all day when the temp agency hadn’t called him with work. She was deluding herself the guy ever would change. Or was he like that when she met him? ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/44 "2010-03-04T03:01:45Z")
> [@niblet\_head](#): > > But I bet he still wanted to be friends. Mine thought if he changed, I’d forget everything and instantly revert to Happy Awesome Girlfriend. When this obviously wasn’t happening, he pitched an ultimatum: either we’re Happy Awesome Couple again, or he’s leaving. A week before he left, he asked to get laid one last time. I declined. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/45 "2010-03-04T13:19:34Z")
Started a thread about crazy exes [over here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=554582)… we kinda seemed to have morphed this thread into a crazy ex thread, and I think they deserve their own kind of bizarre recognition. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/46 "2010-03-04T15:11:43Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > The real story is she was holding HIM back. Stifling his creativity and \*\*unfenging his shui \*\*and distracting him with unimportant stuff like rent and food. She should be ashamed of herself. Thats illegal in 11 southern states and a capital offense in the Republic of California where they take their shui very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/47 "2010-03-04T16:59:38Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > That’s a great example of why you really can’t fully trust any single side of a story. I often wonder about these “out of the blue” stories; mm hmm, mm hmm, out of the blue, was it? Had no idea there were any problems, eh? Most of the women I know are really reluctant to discuss any problems with their mate - just clam right up and ditch their fella on a whim, really. My ex-husband was totally bewildered and amazed by my request for a divorce, although I had given him back my wedding ring and had been sleeping on the couch for almost two years at that point. Isn’t that what all happy wives do? ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/48 "2010-03-05T02:38:19Z")
Dated a guy once (_once_) who said that he’d written a fantastic movie script, but that someone had stolen it out of his backpack, sold it to Hollywood, and it had been made into a blockbuster movie. That was when he was in eighth grade, and he just hadn’t had the heart to write since then. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/49 "2010-03-05T20:06:00Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > That’s a great example of why you really can’t fully trust any single side of a story. … Except in my case, I said that the sky is generally blue, and she says that it’s plaid. what then? ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/50 "2010-03-05T21:24:38Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Since your title mentions Alex and self-delusion I will assume a Jeopardy! reference won’t be off-topic, in spite of the flow of the thread so far. > > On the recent college championship, one of the contestants mentioned his major was in Communications and that he intended to go into broadcasting. We had to put the captions on to get a clue as to what he was saying, his speech impediments were so bad. Intelligent kid who was a whiz-bang with the tough Jeopardy! things, but in the wrong frame of mind for selecting a career. Ahhhh self delusion. When I was a college prof, I saw much self delusion. I knew people who wanted to get into a certain program. This program (at another university known for this program) had tons of people appying for it. You pretty much needed an undergraduate 4.0 GPA with all sorts of hard classes in your undergrad. Anyway, I would routinely meet these students…getting a D of F in a remedial math course. I learned early on to never tell these students directly what was up…because then you would get complaints to college admin about ‘squelching their dreams’. After the 2nd one I just stopped trying to help them in this way. Still, though, there was this desire to tell them that they were taking up the wrong career aspirations or they needed to get the lead out of their lazy ass so you would say something along the lines of “OH! program xxxx! My sister wanted to get into that but that school didn’t accept her because her GPA was only 3.8 and had only taken up to Calc III”. Nope…they would look at you and smile and assume that they could get in with D’s and remedial math. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/51 "2010-03-10T00:46:40Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Our brains even do it for us, without us even realizing. What we think of as “reality” is a whole lot more plastic than we ever realize. I had this graphically demonstrated one day; I was idly gazing at a van next to us on the street, and I thought it had a funny business name on the side. As my attention focused, I realized I was mis-reading the name - as I watched, the letters reformed in front of my eyes. Perception is reality. We can’t evaluate the veracity of this unless you give us more details. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936/52 "2010-03-10T02:22:26Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > We can’t evaluate the veracity of this unless you give us more details. What would you like to know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ill-take-self-delusion-for-400-alex/530936.md?page=2)