# Illogical Logic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367 "2001-01-16T19:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/1 "2001-01-16T19:19:55Z")
I have noticed that whenever the freeway is a parking lot there are helicopters overhead. Therefore, if we get rid of the helicopters, the freeways would not be congested and instead would be free and clear. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/2 "2001-01-16T19:25:43Z")
Whenever the freeway is a parking lot, I’m not getting laid, so if I got laid, traffic will clear up. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/3 "2001-01-16T19:28:42Z")
And if Hollywood only made shitty movies, I could get decent seats to watch 'em. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/4 "2001-01-16T20:12:09Z")
Whenever I make a post, a thread dies. Therefore, if I stop posting, no thread will ever die. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/5 "2001-01-16T20:48:41Z")
I only don’t get laid on days that end in the letter “y”, so in Spain I’d be getting it every day! The toll booth lane I get into is always the slowest, so I’ll get in the next one over. 50% of serious accidents occur in the home, so I’m moving. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/6 "2001-01-16T21:56:05Z")
aerosol cans with CFC ruin the ozone layer, causing global warming. It is freezing this winter. So if we all go outside and spray aerosol cans, it will warm up the earth and the winter won’t be so bad. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/7 "2001-01-17T01:51:50Z")
Since rains falls vertically and when you move you go horizontally, then if you run really fast in the rain you won’t get wet. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/8 "2001-01-17T03:28:30Z")
We didn’t have nuclear weapons until women got the vote. Bad news seems to happen whereever there are newspeople; if we keep the newspeople safely locked away, the frequency of bad stuff happening will decrease significantly. Since criminals, by definition, don’t follow laws, then there’s no point in outlawing something we don’t want people to do because the most dangerous amongst them (potential criminals) will just ignore such laws. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/9 "2001-01-17T04:35:44Z")
-Hi, I’m Dan the Illogical Scientist. I’m much smarter than you are because scientists have invented many things. -But those are other scientists, not you. -Apparently you don’t understand science. -Hi, I’m Dan the Illogical Scientist. That proposal won’t work. I know because I’ve looked at other proposals that didn’t work. -Excuse me, but you didn’t even read my idea. -Oh, I get it; you’re one of those religious nuts. -Hi, I’m Dan the Illogical Scientist. That plan will never work, and I can prove it. -I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s logically impossible to prove that something will never happen. -Impossible for most people, but I’m a trained scientist. -Did the training involve electric shocks? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/10 "2001-01-17T04:40:04Z")
Ooh, my favourite! 1. If the economy is good, nobody will be out of work. 2. High inflation is bad for the economy. 3. Inflation is a natural product of economies in growth. 4. This inflation can be reduced by raising interest rates, thereby lowering growth and throwing thousands out of work. 5. It is therefore possible to cut unemployment by throwing thousands out of work. ---
**Author:** ![LazarusLong42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@LazarusLong42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LazarusLong42)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/11 "2001-01-17T04:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by deb2world \* > **Since rains falls vertically and when you move you go horizontally, then if you run really fast in the rain you won’t get wet.** [hijack] Actually, you will get slightly less wet if you run faster. I’m not sure, Cecil may have covered this. [/hijack] LL ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/12 "2001-01-17T07:44:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LazarusLong42 \* > > Actually, you will get slightly less wet if you run faster. I’m not sure, Cecil may have covered this. [You are correct, sir.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_395.html) ---
**Author:** ![kristoph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@kristoph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kristoph)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/13 "2001-01-17T07:51:51Z")
if I set the alarm, I ineviatibly use the snooze button too much, and am late for work. my options are a) remove snooze button, or b) don’t set alarm wow, I love science!! ---
**Author:** ![Commander\_Fortune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/14 "2001-01-17T08:03:42Z")
I’m for the death penalty because only God gets to take a life. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/15 "2001-01-17T14:09:39Z")
The President (any President) is the reason behind economic growth or economic slowdowns. Politicians are generally lawyers so they must obey the laws very well. The government knows better how to handle my money than I do. (sound of UncleBill getting down off soapbox) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/16 "2001-01-17T17:20:59Z")
Logic fallacies are covered here: [http://www.datanation.com/fallacies/index.htm](http://www.datanation.com/fallacies/index.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/17 "2001-01-17T18:17:31Z")
If we outlaw all guns, then criminals will stop using them. Only Christians have morals, so if we reinstitute prayer in the schools, we will have a more moral society. The way to fix the problems with public education is to give everybody vouchers so they can send their kids to private schools. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/18 "2001-01-18T16:36:54Z")
I’m sorry **Deb,** I didn’t mean to. ::stares down at the mangled corpse:: Please forgive me! _sigh_ ::shuffles off:: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/19 "2001-01-18T16:50:46Z")
If you took a pie and cut it up into a billion pieces, each one would be so small that it would take a billion of them to make a pie. If you took all the blood vessels out of a person’s body and laid them end to end, that person would die. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/20 "2001-01-18T18:13:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*KKBattousai \* > \*\*Whenever the freeway is a parking lot, I’m not getting laid, so if I got laid, traffic will clear up. \*\* Actually, I’m of the opinion that means that if I weren’t driving, I’d get laid. \ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367.md?page=2)