# Illogical Logic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 16, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367 "2001-01-16T19:19:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/21 "2001-01-18T18:18:57Z")
So ts, How ya doin’? Can I have your Car? ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Jaguar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jet_jaguar/32/3562_2.png) [@Jet\_Jaguar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Jaguar)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/22 "2001-01-18T18:23:45Z")
1. The odds of there being a bomb on my airline flight are very small. 2. The odds of there being _two_ bombs on board are so tiny, it’s practically zero. 3. Therefore, if I smuggle a bomb on board myself, I’ll be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/23 "2001-01-19T18:17:54Z")
a = b a[sup]2[/sup] = ba a[sup]2[/sup]-b[sup]2[/sup] = ab-b[sup]2[/sup] (a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b) a+b=b a+a=a 2a=a **so 2=1** ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/24 "2001-01-19T18:36:14Z")
**Enderw24** I really like that–it made me smile. Thanks. deb ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/25 "2001-01-19T18:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jet Jaguar \* > \*\*1. The odds of there being a bomb on my airline flight are very small. > 2. The odds of there being _two_ bombs on board are so tiny, it’s practically zero. > 3. Therefore, if I smuggle a bomb on board myself, I’ll be safe. \*\* Brilliant! 🙂 I wish I’d thought of that. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/26 "2001-01-19T18:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*a = b > a[sup]2[/sup] = ba > a[sup]2[/sup]-b[sup]2[/sup] = ab-b[sup]2[/sup] > (a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b) > a+b=b > a+a=a > 2a=a > > **so 2=1** \*\* Holy crap… I suck at math, but this seems to work. First headache on my day off, and counting! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/27 "2001-01-19T19:58:51Z")
I wouldn’t mind inflation so much, but why does it have to hit right now, when prices are so high? This reminds me very little of the baker who baked his bread for one hour and thought, hmmm, this bread tastes good, if I bake it for two hours it’ll taste twice as good. The nice thing about apathy is you don’t have to commit yourself to it. ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/28 "2001-01-19T20:24:54Z")
My abs are totally ripped. It’s just that you can’t see them because of the fat. ---
**Author:** ![Tzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzel)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/29 "2001-01-19T22:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*a = b > a[sup]2[/sup] = ba > a[sup]2[/sup]-b[sup]2[/sup] = ab-b[sup]2[/sup] > (a+b)(a-b) = b(a-b) Just in case the less math-inclined are wondering where the fallacy is, it’s between the step above and the step below. It requires dividing each side by (a-b), which is zero, therefore the error is in division by zero. That being said, it is a clever proof. > [@](#): > > a+b=b > a+a=a > 2a=a > > **so 2=1** \*\* ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/30 "2001-01-19T23:34:34Z")
God is love. Love is blind. Ray Charles is blind, so he must be God. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/31 "2001-01-20T00:56:17Z")
All syllogisms have three parts. Therefore, this is not a syllogism. And of course, there’s that famous example from WWII. When Gen. J. L. DeWitt recommended that American citizens of Japanese descent be rounded up, since each was a potential saboteur. When asked why there had been no instances of sabotage, DeWitt said, “The very fact that no sabotage has taken place to date is a disturbing and confirming indication that such action will take place.” There’s also the motto of the American Non-Sequitur Society: “We don’t make sense, but we do like pizza.” ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/32 "2001-01-20T01:28:50Z")
We can’t have a thread without a Simpsons quote: Lisa: Well, if I wanted to, I could say that this rock wards off tigers! Homer: How so? Lisa: Well, do you see any tigers around? Homer: …Lisa, I want to buy your rock… Lisa: Nevermind. And actual account of illogic: If you kill a bull and leave its carcass out in a field, in a few days bees will appear around it. Therefore, bees come from bulls. And flies come from rotting steak. ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/33 "2001-01-20T07:09:28Z")
1. The Holy Spirit is often represented as a dove. 2. The Holy Spirit descended upon the Virgin Mary, and she concieved a child. 3. Therefore, Mary had sex with a bird. Had a English teacher who very firmly believed this. Her religious background, however, was somewhat, shall we say, skewed. ---
**Author:** ![kristoph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@kristoph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kristoph)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/34 "2001-01-20T08:26:12Z")
okay, we all know time = money, and that knowledge = power so if we throw these into power = work done / time we get work done/ knowledge = money multiply each side by money, and it’s ``` money*knowledge = work done ``` which means as knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity just goes to prove what I’ve always believed about the business hierachy where I work, the less you know, the more you make. ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/35 "2001-01-20T13:31:26Z")
Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/36 "2001-01-20T16:04:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kristoph \* > \*\* okay, we all know time = money, and that knowledge = power > so if we throw these into power = work done / time > we get work done/ > knowledge = money > > multiply each side by money, and it’s > > ``` > money*knowledge = work done > > ``` > > which means as knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity > > just goes to prove what I’ve always believed about the business hierachy where I work, the less you know, the more you make. \*\* That’s hilarious ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/37 "2001-01-20T16:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clairmont \* > \*\*Jesus died on the cross for our sins. > > Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? \*\* Oh, now **that’s** a .sig in waiting! Please tell me that you’re on your way to update your profile… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/38 "2001-01-20T17:29:48Z")
As my math teachers used to say… if 4 people go into an empty room, 5 come out and one more person goes in… the room is empty. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/39 "2001-01-20T19:10:20Z")
Granting the assumption that “a half truth is a whole lie”: 1/2 truth = 1 lie (given) truth = 2 lie (multiply both sides by 2) truth = right (definition of truth) lie = wrong (definition of lie) 2 wrong = right (substitute back into original equation) Therefore two wrongs equal a right. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367/40 "2001-01-20T23:30:28Z")
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Three do! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illogical-logic/50367.md?page=3)