# Illuminati Alert: $5 A Gallon Might Be A Reality Soon **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367 "2012-03-21T02:14:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/21 "2012-03-21T04:58:13Z")
When two forty thirteen gas prices seventy six nine Americans don’t fifty eight. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/22 "2012-03-21T05:15:48Z")
> [@Yakuza](#): > > I haven’t drove in 2 years and I don’t really plan on driving until 2025 Sucker. I plan on using up all your gas by 2022. ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Jake\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/23 "2012-03-21T05:32:01Z")
> [@Yakuza](#): > > I don’t really plan on driving until 2025 when I move up in management at my job Are you in management now? Because you cant move up in management until you’re actually in management. Either way, I applaud you for having at least a semi-plausible timetable. Everyone can have a dream on an infinite time scale. If it doesn’t happen in 2025, shoot for 2050. Nobody can ignore your logical prowess forever! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/24 "2012-03-21T06:21:48Z")
> [@Yakuza](#): > > My rebellion against gas prices is that I don’t drive and I have a car. I haven’t drove in 2 years and I don’t really plan on driving until 2025 when I move up in management at my job or I might drive before then if the cost of gas and the **cost of rent and mortgage go down** before then. I take the bus and walk where I wanna go. I’m not neccessarily tryin 2 convince everyone 2 stop driving because I know some people have no choice. But I am tryin 2 convince people who don’t really have 2 have a car 2 stop driving because this is the only realistic way 2 get gas prices lower. Hey! Our very own Mr. **Yakuza**! Welcome back! We’ve all been waiting breathlessly 2 learn more of ur story. We know from a recent nearby thread that u have some valuable life skills that many of us could learn from. We know that u, um… actually aren’t paying any rent at all, other than ur self-storage space. We didn’t know u had (or even contemplated ever having) a mortgage. This tells us u’re financially on ur way up! This is great news, **Yakuza**! Tell us more about how ur career path 2 management is unfolding. Have u gotten any promotions or salary increase since we last heard from u? > [@Yakuza](#): > > I agree that oil can affect the price of a lot of other things but I’m still in a good situation because I don’t have 2 waste my income on gas, car maintenance, and car insurance Ur financial situation is really encouraging. U’ve told us some detail about ur other budget priorities, and how u make ends meet. But we need 2 learn more, so those of us who would like 2 live similarly can begin 2 do so. Ur entertainment budget was/is fascinating. ETA: And we’re also proud of u that u’ve advanced 2 the point of using more Capital Letters and punctuation marks in ur posts. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/25 "2012-03-21T06:24:13Z")
It’s cool that there are bus stops in the wilderness. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/26 "2012-03-21T10:43:09Z")
I thought about giving up driving to spite the Illuminati, but then I realized that if I took the only job within walking distance - 4 hours/week for minimumn wage at the library - instead of continuing to drive 60 miles a day, the Illuminati would really be pleased about having manipulated me into such a move. So I need a new Illuminati defying strategy. I’m thinking cryptically worded ads on craigslist. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/27 "2012-03-21T12:13:20Z")
Hey **Yakuza** , who are these Illuminati you mention? I’d be very grateful if you could tell me a little bit more about them - in your own words. That last part is important to me - I don’t want links or cites or anything like that, but for _you_ to tell me who they are, where they come from, what they do and why they do it. Could you? Would you? Please? Thanks in advance, **'kuz**! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/28 "2012-03-21T12:19:42Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Also, driving takes away Slack. But Pizza Drivers have the best income, but some of the highest Slack requirements this side of Corporate Drone. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/29 "2012-03-21T12:21:15Z")
Wait. I know. Illuminati have a secret agenda. They are hiking up the price of gas so that we dump cars and go back to horses. Therefore, Illuminati must be horse farmers. Or, at least, from Kentucky. As a group. Am I onto something, or am I onto something, Yakuza!? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/30 "2012-03-21T12:32:31Z")
The word Illuminati comes from the greek meaning those enlightened by the Holy Spirit. The people of God. Those people have their needs met, including fuel, by God, so why would this be an issue to them? When God sends them somewhere, God will pay, and it’s all God’s anyway. While you may think you are doing good by not driving in protest, you may just be a stubborn child of God, thinking you are doing good in not driving but all you are doing is making your life harder, and less effective in your life’s purpose to love your fellow members of the human family. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/31 "2012-03-21T12:58:39Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > The word Illuminati comes from the greek meaning those enlightened by the Holy Spirit. And here was me thinking it came from the Latin, meaning “enlightened” (by actual light). [http://www.myetymology.com/latin/illuminatus.html](http://www.myetymology.com/latin/illuminatus.html) > **[Illuminati - Etymology, Origin & Meaning](https://www.etymonline.com/word/illuminati)** > > Originating in the 1590s from Latin "illuminatus" meaning "enlightened," the term refers to a 16th-century sect and later a secret society promoting intellectual ... ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/32 "2012-03-21T15:07:30Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > [del]That’s just what The Jews want you to think.[/del] > I agree. Shhhh! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/33 "2012-03-21T15:22:26Z")
Five bucks a gallon huh? Whining pantywaists don’t know what expensive gas is. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/34 "2012-03-21T15:29:16Z")
See, now I always thought, in an attempt to get the West, to stop consuming the lion’s share of the world’s resources, and actually Conserve, they had to jack the price of gas and hit them where they live - in the pocket book! They aren’t going to willingly give up any lifestyle, otherwise. Illumanati? Why didn’t I think of that? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/35 "2012-03-21T15:40:33Z")
> [@Yakuza](#): > > My rebellion against gas prices is that I don’t drive and I have a car. I haven’t drove in 2 years and I don’t really plan on driving until 2025 Let us know how well that car runs after sitting for 13 years. Hell, let us know how well it runs now after sitting for 2 years. Why don’t you just sell it? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/36 "2012-03-21T15:41:40Z")
I’ve done my part, I just bought a new car!! That’ll show that darn Illuminati. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/37 "2012-03-21T16:25:38Z")
God, how I pity the decapitated tree slug who matches wits with you. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/38 "2012-03-22T00:46:45Z")
Damn how did he find us out, well off to my spaceship and wait for this empire to fall. I’ll be back… ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/39 "2012-03-22T00:56:06Z")
Wow. I’m jealous. I wish I lived somewhere where gas was only $5 a gallon. You’re a lucky, lucky man! Twice that here. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367/40 "2012-03-22T01:22:21Z")
Can’t stand it when people use the number 2 like that. Anyway, I am pretty sure that supply, demand, and distribution issues have nothing to do with the price of gas. Until now though I couldn’t figure out what _was_ affecting it. I thought it might have been Obama’s fault, but couldn’t prove it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-alert-5-a-gallon-might-be-a-reality-soon/616367.md?page=3)