# Illuminati vs. Jesus \[a debate about evolution\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 11, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889 "2012-07-11T12:55:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/1 "2012-07-11T12:55:48Z")
Continuing here from the 9/11 thread. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/2 "2012-07-11T13:00:51Z")
Jesus was a man of peace, so I’d definitely take the Illuminati in round 1 by TKO. Jesus would get back up, but the ref would certainly call it after a few knockdowns. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/3 "2012-07-11T13:03:53Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Jesus was a man of peace, so I’d definitely take the Illuminati in round 1 by TKO. Jesus would get back up, but the ref would certainly call it after a few knockdowns. Revelation 19: 11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. 12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. 13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. 14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. 15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. I dont think so. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/4 "2012-07-11T13:04:38Z")
The Illuminati kill Jesus, he rises from his fatal wounds. The Illuminati realize he’s actually Wolverine, squeal and ask for his autograph. Then he kills them all with his claws and runs off, but unknown to him they were Doombots all along. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/5 "2012-07-11T13:05:13Z")
How about creation vs evolution? No evolutionists/atheists here? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/6 "2012-07-11T13:06:56Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > evolutionists You’re funny. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/7 "2012-07-11T13:08:29Z")
I’ll take Evolution in 6 games. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/8 "2012-07-11T13:09:15Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > You’re funny. The science books that we pay taxes for are funny, too. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/9 "2012-07-11T13:09:48Z")
Sorry, we’ve only got capacity for one rather pointless Illuminati thread on the boards right now, and it’s going on in The Pit so it has priority. Based on past experiences, that should flame out shortly. Can we pencil you in for next week? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/10 "2012-07-11T13:10:54Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > How about creation vs evolution? God creates the Garden of Eden, then a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_ evolves and eats Adam, Eve, and the Serpent. God says screw it and arranges a virgin _Tyrannosaurus Rex_ to give birth to Raptor Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/11 "2012-07-11T13:12:56Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Sorry, we’ve only got capacity for one rather pointless Illuminati thread on the boards right now, and it’s going on in The Pit so it has priority. Based on past experiences, that should flame out shortly. Can we pencil you in for next week? You can try to give evidence for evolution too. Its all connected. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/12 "2012-07-11T13:20:02Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > Revelation 19: 11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. > > 12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. > > 13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God. > > 14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. > > 15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. > > I dont think so. Whoever this is, he sounds pretty mean. He’d be a much tougher fight against the Illuminati than Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/13 "2012-07-11T13:22:55Z")
All joking and mocking aside, what’s the debate here? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/14 "2012-07-11T13:24:47Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > All joking and mocking aside, what’s the debate here? Let’s file this under witnessing. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/15 "2012-07-11T13:25:55Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > You can try to give evidence for evolution too. Nah, I’m good. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/16 "2012-07-11T13:27:18Z")
B ut but but if you don’t need evidence then that means you believe in evolution which means your teh evolutionist which means its just like a religion. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/17 "2012-07-11T13:29:43Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > B ut but but if you don’t need evidence then that means you believe in evolution which means your teh evolutionist which means its just like a religion. And shit. Im asking anybody to provide evidence for evolution (not natural selection, or ‘micro-evolution’). Thats the opposite of saying I dont need evidence. ---
**Author:** ![reef\_shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@reef\_shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reef_shark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/18 "2012-07-11T13:30:56Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > All joking and mocking aside, what’s the debate here? Jesus vs. illuminati, creation vs. evolution, take your pick. Again, its all connected. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/19 "2012-07-11T13:31:30Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > Im asking anybody to provide evidence for evolution (not natural selection, or ‘micro-evolution’). Thats the opposite of saying I dont need evidence. \*That’s \*what you’re asking for? I wish you’d just focus your thoughts and present an OP that got a coherent thesis/question/debate topic. One that actually matches up to your thread title. So far you’ve proven unable to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889/20 "2012-07-11T13:32:50Z")
> [@reef\_shark](#): > > Im asking anybody to provide evidence for evolution (not natural selection, or ‘micro-evolution’). Thats the opposite of saying I dont need evidence. I was addressing the deluded sir who insisted that he did not need evidence for evolution which is therefore only faith based. As opposed to yourself who rightfully believes in the evidence-backed Christian faith. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati-vs-jesus-a-debate-about-evolution/627889.md?page=2)