# Illuminati.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [July 21, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850 "2003-07-21T04:01:14Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Nomadic\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nomadic_One)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/1 "2003-07-21T04:01:14Z")
How does one go about joining the Illuminati?
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### Author:  [@initech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/initech)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/2 "2003-07-21T04:20:11Z")
You’re in.
You’ll find your contact info buried deep inside the fine print of what appears to be an ordinary piece of junk mail. Inspect all direct mail carefully for the next several weeks.
Welcome aboard…
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### Author:  [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/3 "2003-07-21T04:31:24Z")
He knows too much.
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### Author:  [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/4 "2003-07-21T04:41:10Z")
Forget the Illuminati, pal, that’s high dollar. I can get you in to the Tonton Macoutes cheap, these days. There’s somethin’ to be said for being the biggest fish in a small pond.
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### Author:  [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/5 "2003-07-21T05:36:12Z")
This is no fnord such thing as the Illuminati.
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### Author:  [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/6 "2003-07-21T05:51:40Z")
Moriah is right.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/7 "2003-07-21T10:57:33Z")
If you are worthy, you will be contacted. Don’t hold your breath.
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### Author:  [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/8 "2003-07-21T12:08:44Z")
If you mean the mysterious Bilderberg group, a group of politicians, business people and afficianardos of something-or-other who meet up occasionally to discuss world matters, I gather it is by invitation only.
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### Author:  [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/9 "2003-07-21T16:32:20Z")
[You do not join the Illuminati. The Illuminati joins you.](http://www.google.com/search?q=illuminati+%22how+to+join%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off)
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### Author:  [@Nomadic\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nomadic_One)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/10 "2003-07-21T18:15:23Z")
lol…ok I was just wondering because I saw it on MEBs sig. _think it was MEB_ 🙂
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### Author:  [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/11 "2003-07-21T18:15:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by refusal \*
> \*\*[You do not join the Illuminati. The Illuminati joins you.](http://www.google.com/search?q=illuminati+%22how+to+join%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off) \*\*
I thought that was only in Soviet Russia. No, wait… this isn’t Slashdot. Never mind.
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### Author:  [@Nomadic\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nomadic_One)
#### Post date: [July 21, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/illuminati/189850/12 "2003-07-21T18:21:43Z")
Reading Slashdot = good laughs.