# I'm 16. My therapist is in mid 30's. Is she into me, or am I reading into things? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2016, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494 "2016-02-18T22:54:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/21 "2016-02-19T00:30:04Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’ll give him a serious answer, it may not be helpful. > > It doesn’t make any difference if she is into you or not. If she is, and she follows through, it would ruin her professionally. She’d be done as a therapist. She might be prosecuted - even if statutory rape doesn’t cover it, some states have laws that discourage the relationship between a mental health professional and a patient. > > So drop it. Discourage her from inappropriate behavior for her own good. Find another therapist. It sounds like you need to be the grown up, which isn’t fair. > > True love between a sixteen year old and a thirty year old is rare - what isn’t rare is attraction. And if there weren’t the professional relationship, she would still probably have an issue with ages until you are eighteen. People go to jail for this. Unless you want to ruin this woman, drop it. If half of what the OP says is true, the woman’s career should be ruined. She has severe boundary issues, and could be extremely damaging to someone with real mental health problems. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/22 "2016-02-19T00:32:25Z")
16 year old sack of hormones spilling his secrets to a female type person? I’d have to see some actual proof that she’s into you and it isn’t just hormone related wishful thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/23 "2016-02-19T00:34:02Z")
Therapists can have a powerful influence on patients. They know you better than you probably know yourself, and know exactly which buttons they can push to manipulate your feelings. Doing so is completely unethical and will only end badly, particularly if your parents become aware of her behavior. She could lose her license, credibility and reputation. You need to ask her if she has personal feelings toward you, and if the answer is ‘yes’, you need to be the adult and terminate the relationship immediately. If the answer is ‘no’, then you should tell her that you’re uncomfortable with her actions and personal contact. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/24 "2016-02-19T00:54:31Z")
You should ask her to marry you then run away together to vegas. You parents might try and tell you that you are just infatuated, but DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! They don’t know how you feel! They are just jealous, and want you to forever be stuck at home under their boot heal. You two will live happily ever after for ever and ever. Sure, her career will be ruined, but with LOVE, you will make everything work out fine. Once you start a family, she can stay home and take care of the kids while you go out and get a job. And as a high school drop out, it might be tough. But your LOVE for each other will see you through TOGETHER! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/25 "2016-02-19T01:10:21Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > You should ask her to marry you then run away together to vegas. You parents might try and tell you that you are just infatuated, but DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! They don’t know how you feel! They are just jealous, and want you to forever be stuck at home under their boot heal. You two will live happily ever after for ever and ever. Sure, her career will be ruined, but with LOVE, you will make everything work out fine. Once you start a family, she can stay home and take care of the kids while you go out and get a job. And as a high school drop out, it might be tough. But your LOVE for each other will see you through TOGETHER! Just stop this. What is it about this sitch that strikes you as worthy of ridicule? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/26 "2016-02-19T01:13:27Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’ll give him a serious answer, it may not be helpful. > > It doesn’t make any difference if she is into you or not. If she is, and she follows through, it would ruin her professionally. She’d be done as a therapist. She might be prosecuted - even if statutory rape doesn’t cover it, some states have laws that discourage the relationship between a mental health professional and a patient. > > So drop it. Discourage her from inappropriate behavior for her own good. Find another therapist. It sounds like you need to be the grown up, which isn’t fair. > > True love between a sixteen year old and a thirty year old is rare - what isn’t rare is attraction. And if there weren’t the professional relationship, she would still probably have an issue with ages until you are eighteen. People go to jail for this. Unless you want to ruin this woman, drop it. This is serious, and it is helpful. Except that it is HER job to set boundaries. Yes, he should definitely discourage her and he should definitely stop seeing her. If I were his parent, I’d report her to her supervisor, because she needs professional guidance. I truly do not understand the comments that ridicule and insult the OP. I know this board can be tough, but c’mon. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/27 "2016-02-19T01:23:42Z")
If you think your therapist is into you you should be telling your parents you don’t feel comfortable seeing her anymore. It’s normal to feel attach to your therapist and being so young you really speak to your parents . I am with others I not about to click on your link who know you could also be a spam or hacker ! ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/28 "2016-02-19T01:28:25Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Just stop this. What is it about this sitch that strikes you as worthy of ridicule? I’m just remembering how utterly retarded I, and most people, was/are at 16. And was trying to convey that through sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/29 "2016-02-19T01:44:48Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Just stop this. What is it about this sitch that strikes you as worthy of ridicule? > [@snfaulkner](#): > > I’m just remembering how utterly retarded I, and most people, was/are at 16. And was trying to convey that through sarcasm. [Reply](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=19113494#post19113494) ---
**Author:** ![starryspice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@starryspice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starryspice)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/30 "2016-02-19T01:59:40Z")
In my personal experience, two of three therapists I have had have been on the edge of crazy themselves. One had a tick (which she didn’t tell me about, leaving me to figure it out on my own) in which she repeatedly looked over at something. I thought she was being rude and looking at the clock or something, so the next time she turned her head, I turned to see what she was looking at - not that I would have called her out, but I was just curious. Turns out she was looking at nothing at all - it was just a blank wall. Creeped me the heck out even though it must have been just an uncontrollable head movement. She was also far too interested in my mother’s childhood for me to think I was going to gain anything out of therapy, considering I had said I was interested in CBT. Another therapist I went to just talked a lot, and I mean a LOT, about herself. When I told her I was having fears about my (at that time still-unborn) baby dying because I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good mother, she launched into stories of how good she was with babies even though she had none of her own. Her stories lasted the rest of the session and did nothing to allay my anxiety. My point is, there are some really shitty therapists out there. There are some people who get through what must be minimal training and then enjoy spending the rest of their lives talking at patients rather than helping them through difficult times. Maybe there are some people who even enjoy manipulating people who are emotionally vulnerable. Whatever the case may be, drop this therapist and get a new one. Good therapists are out there, even if they’re hard to find. And they can really help you and give you strategies for dealing with difficult mental situations, so it’s worth the search. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2016, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494/31 "2016-02-19T02:00:42Z")
> [@applesauce](#): > > It’s a long story, so I didn’t want to unnecessarily clutter this forum: > > [Reddit - Dive into anything](https://www.reddit.com/r/needadvice/comments/44m7vy/im_16_is_my_35_yo_therapist_into_me_or_am_i/) Is her name Pork Chops? If so, you need to get with her ASAP. It’s destiny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-16-my-therapist-is-in-mid-30s-is-she-into-me-or-am-i-reading-into-things/746494.md?page=1)