# I'm 44 and scared of monsters under the bed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2014, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137 "2014-07-15T06:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/1 "2014-07-15T06:01:00Z")
Well, between the bed and the wall. I have a waterbed, so if a monster is under the bed, he (OR she) can’t get to me. Every once in a while, my arm will flop over the side of the bed. I immediately retract it back, often while having to reposition my body. I cannot sleep with any appendage hanging over the side of the bed. I’m literally scared something will come up and grab it…in its hot, sticky, sharp, yellow teeth. And yet, because I don’t have A/C and have to sleep with the windows open five months a year, spiders regularly invade every square inch of my room, including my bed. A few times I’ve been bitten. Somehow I can manage that without spinning around in circles flapping my hands and screaming like a little girl (OR boy). Bonus MPSIMS: I’ve known adults who WILL NOT sleep with the closet door open. I don’t have to worry about that. Instead of a door on my closet, I have Greg Brady love beads. Except mine are like bank pen chains, with bigger nickel-plated beads. ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/2 "2014-07-15T06:03:07Z")
> [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](#): > > Well, between the bed and the wall. I have a waterbed, so if a monster is under the bed, he (OR she) can’t get to me. > > Every once in a while, my arm will flop over the side of the bed. I immediately retract it back, often while having to reposition my body. I cannot sleep with any appendage hanging over the side of the bed. I’m literally scared something will come up and grab it…in its hot, sticky, sharp, yellow teeth. You are validly scared, but of the wrong thing. What can happen is that you can squash down on the artery to the arm, which is on the underside of the humerus, between the arm and the ribs, up near the arm pit, and cut the blood flow off, and if you sleep like that for six hours, it can be permanently injured . ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/3 "2014-07-15T07:21:33Z")
Put your mattress on the floor. No more monsters. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/4 "2014-07-15T07:27:06Z")
Totally legit fear. I used to know a guy who once let his arm hang over the edge of his waterbed. It was ripped up quite badly by a monster that liked to hang out down there. He needed stitches. Of course, it’s possible you don’t even have a cat, in which case you are just being weird. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/5 "2014-07-15T08:22:36Z")
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I’m 47, and I currently have a waterbed frame, but when I have to sleep in a bed that’s raised off the floor, I have to jump in from about 5 steps away. Otherwise, the monsters will grab my ankles as I get in. And I also, like you and all other reasonable people, can’t let any part of my body hang off the bed, because of the afore mentioned monsters. Oh, sure, they laugh at us now, but who’ll be laughing when the monsters drag all those lazy bed-getter-inners under the bed to a horrible death? We will, that’s who. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/6 "2014-07-15T08:34:02Z")
I have to have some sort of covering on me when I sleep no matter how hot it is. Monsters cannot get you through covers. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/7 "2014-07-15T12:08:34Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Put your mattress on the floor. No more monsters. Oh, not to worry, they’d now lurk _above_ the mattress in the darkness (like a grue)… ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/8 "2014-07-15T12:24:33Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > I have to have some sort of covering on me when I sleep no matter how hot it is. Monsters cannot get you through covers. Anyone recall the Far Side monster snorkel? Ha ha! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/9 "2014-07-15T12:47:44Z")
Monsters under the bed; ha, what a wuss! OTOH, my sister convinced me there were hobgoblins in the basement. Till the day they sold that house (years after I moved out) I would _sprint_ up the stairs… just in case. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/10 "2014-07-15T13:35:05Z")
After reading _Pet Sematary_, I was never able to sleep without my feet covered again. > [@](#): > > Perhaps this is what people do with the inexplicable, he thought. This is what they do with the irrational that refuses to be broken down into the normal causes and effects that run the Western world. Maybe this was how your mind coped with the flying saucer you saw hovering silently over your back field one morning, casting its own tight little pool of shadow; the rain of frogs; the hand from under the bed that stroked your bare foot in the dead of night. There was a giggling fit or a crying fit… and since it was its own inviolable self and would not break down, you simply passed terror intact, like a kidney stone. Aw _hell_ no. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/11 "2014-07-15T13:39:38Z")
I’m 33, and when I get up to use the washroom in the night, I sometimes get the urge to quickly get in to bed and get my feet off the floor…just in case something reaches out from under the bed. Rationality isn’t as strong in the dark. :o ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/12 "2014-07-15T13:42:54Z")
> [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](#): > > Bonus MPSIMS: I’ve known adults who WILL NOT sleep with the closet door open. I don’t have to worry about that. Instead of a door on my closet, I have Greg Brady love beads. Except mine are like bank pen chains, with bigger nickel-plated beads. Now that’s silly. Closet doors work like airlocks. If your door is open, the monster can’t open the door on it’s side. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/13 "2014-07-15T13:55:26Z")
The father looks under the bed. 'Daddy, there’s something on top of the bed! :eek: ’ > [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](#): > > I cannot sleep with any appendage hanging over the side of the bed. I’m literally scared something will come up and grab it…in its hot, sticky, sharp, yellow teeth. It’s been hot here. (Well, hot for here; and I’ve become acclimatised to the cooler weather.) I’ve been sleeping with both feet dangling over one side of the bed in the stream of the fan (which reminds me, I should get a bigger fan), and an arm sticking out over the other side of the bed. The monster under the bed could easily grab me from either end. But we have an agreement. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/14 "2014-07-15T14:02:01Z")
Not only do I make arrangements to avoid the monster under the bed, this is the reason I always sit ‘criss-cross applesauce’ in my chair\* or otherwise have my feet off the floor. I can _feel_ the monster getting ready to grab my feet when they are not safely tucked up. \*The older I get, the less my knees enjoy this fear… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/15 "2014-07-15T14:11:21Z")
> [@stretch](#): > > I can _feel_ the monster getting ready to grab my feet when they are not safely tucked up. Wait until September/October. Then you can _actually_ feel the giant house spiders crawl across your feet. One did when I was brushing my teeth one morning. I caught it after I finished brushing, and let it go outside. And another did once when I was sitting on the couch. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/16 "2014-07-15T15:46:09Z")
Waterbed frame. so no monsters under my bed, but the closet door must be closed to keep the monster in. My husband will even close it for me if he notices it’s open after I’m already in bed. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/17 "2014-07-15T15:50:26Z")
Real news story: [Poltergeist Under Couple’s Bed Turns Out to Be Meth Head](https://www.vocativ.com/underworld/drugs/poltergeist-couples-bed-turns-meth-head/) My childhood monsters were never under the bed. I had a back room that was kind of like an attic, they hid back in there. To solve the problem of them getting me, 6-year-old me made rules they had to follow, like only moving one step each hour. I’d be awake before the even reached the door. I was a clever kid. ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/18 "2014-07-15T16:03:36Z")
Never had a monster in the closet nor under the bed… I think they were afraid of me… I usta train horses and big dogs,I’da broke it to saddle or put a collar and leash on it… ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/19 "2014-07-15T16:27:33Z")
this is why you get married - you let the SO hang an appendage over as bait. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/20 "2014-07-15T17:30:02Z")
> [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](#): > > Bonus MPSIMS: I’ve known adults who WILL NOT sleep with the closet door open. I don’t have to worry about that. Instead of a door on my closet, I have Greg Brady love beads. Except mine are like bank pen chains, with bigger nickel-plated beads. Whether or not I can sleep with the closet door ajar is a key indicator of just how spooky that spooky movie I was watching before I went to bed really was. If it’s lights out, door open, then it was a pretty lame movie. A good spooky movie might keep the closet door shut at night for a week. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137.md?page=2)