# I'm 44 and scared of monsters under the bed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2014, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137 "2014-07-15T06:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/21 "2014-07-15T18:04:44Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > I’m 33, and when I get up to use the washroom in the night, I sometimes get the urge to quickly get in to bed and get my feet off the floor…just in case something reaches out from under the bed. > > Rationality isn’t as strong in the dark. :o I do this regularly, and it usually scares the hell out of my SO ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/22 "2014-07-15T19:50:56Z")
**Runs With Scissors** , **TheFaerie** … I’m concerned that you seem to be ignoring the possibility of an aquatic monster inside the mattress. Perhaps the waterlogged corpse of a long-dead child, waiting until the wee hours to poke at you with tiny, bony fingers… ---
**Author:** ![boozilu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@boozilu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boozilu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/23 "2014-07-15T20:07:15Z")
I once read an essay by Stephen King saying he never hung an arm or leg over the side of the bed for just that reason. Under the bed is no problem for me, but the closet door is. When I get up to pee in the night, I have to walk right by that closet and anyone could reach out and grab me. PS – my brother, as a teenager, slept with a stuffed animal snake around his neck because, well, vampires. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/24 "2014-07-15T20:16:01Z")
I hope you don’t have a TV in your bedroom. Weird things can come out of a TV at night, even if it’s off. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/25 "2014-07-15T20:16:08Z")
> [@neofishboy](#): > > **Runs With Scissors** , **TheFaerie** … I’m concerned that you seem to be ignoring the possibility of an aquatic monster inside the mattress. Perhaps the waterlogged corpse of a long-dead child, waiting until the wee hours to poke at you with tiny, bony fingers… Now you’re just being silly. The aquatic tentacle monsters are the natural enemy of children, dead or not. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/26 "2014-07-15T20:17:10Z")
**neofishboy** , I was there when the brand-new, empty mattress was brought into the house and filled it myself. I am certain there are no aquatic monsters in it. (at least I WAS sure…) ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/27 "2014-07-15T20:22:44Z")
True story… I have often been attacked by the bed monster before going to work. After turning off the alarm, the bed monster would reach up, pull me under the covers, make me go back to sleep, and quietly observe me as I overslept. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/28 "2014-07-15T20:32:52Z")
> [@TheFaerie](#): > > **neofishboy** , I was there when the brand-new, empty mattress was brought into the house and filled it myself. I am certain there are no aquatic monsters in it. (at least I WAS sure…) You didn’t check inside the mattress for eggs, did you? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/29 "2014-07-15T21:06:43Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > True story… > > I have often been attacked by the bed monster before going to work. After turning off the alarm, the bed monster would reach up, pull me under the covers, make me go back to sleep, and quietly observe me as I overslept. all hail the snooze! ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/30 "2014-07-15T21:43:10Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > I have to have some sort of covering on me when I sleep no matter how hot it is. Monsters cannot get you through covers. Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/31 "2014-07-15T21:57:28Z")
Is the monster under your bed drooling?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/32 "2014-07-15T22:01:23Z")
[QUOTE=Runs With Scissors] Bonus MPSIMS: I’ve known adults who WILL NOT sleep with the closet door open. [/QUOTE] Well, that’s just common sense. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2014, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/33 "2014-07-15T23:15:21Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Wait until September/October. Then you can _actually_ feel the giant house spiders crawl across your feet. One did when I was brushing my teeth one morning. I caught it after I finished brushing, and let it go outside. And another did once when I was sitting on the couch. You live on the side of the state where the spiders are mostly harmless. I, on the other hand, live on the side with black widows, which makes me jumpy about spiders. I don’t see many giant house spiders here. Lots of wolf spiders. I don’t care about the make or model, I don’t want any of them crawling on me. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/34 "2014-07-16T00:22:43Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Well, that’s just common sense. Yessssss. All closet doors where I sleep must be shut. And by the same token, any closed shower curtains must be checked before I go to sleep near one. Jason Kruger could be in there! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/35 "2014-07-16T03:28:59Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Totally legit fear. I used to know a guy who once let his arm hang over the edge of his waterbed. It was ripped up quite badly by a monster that liked to hang out down there. He needed stitches. My monster like that has yet to attack me. It just sits in the crawlspace door, staring at me. Oldest is leaving town for a week and I will have to start leaving the propitiatory offerings. I don’t know how that will change the dynamic of the relationship. Started sleeping with a pillow on my head as a kid because I was scared by _The Haunting._ Still do it, but not to a prophylactic, ghost deterring extent, just to muffle noises and keep my ear warm. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/36 "2014-07-16T03:30:16Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Yessssss. All closet doors where I sleep must be shut. And by the same token, any closed shower curtains must be checked before I go to sleep near one. Jason Kruger could be in there! On the other hand, Norman Bates (or his mother :eek:) could be _outside_ the curtain. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/37 "2014-07-16T03:53:20Z")
> [@rjk](#): > > On the other hand, Norman Bates (or his mother :eek:) could be _outside_ the curtain. Noooooooo. Make it stop, mommy! ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/38 "2014-07-16T03:54:14Z")
My wife always sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the window since that’s where the sea monsters come from… she keeps them from eating me. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/39 "2014-07-16T03:57:17Z")
Hmmmm. So would it be weird to sleep with the bedroom door open and window open and feet hanging out of the bottom of the bed?:o ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137/40 "2014-07-16T04:24:27Z")
Every night before he goes to sleep, the boogeyman checks under the bed for Chuck Norris. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-44-and-scared-of-monsters-under-the-bed/693137.md?page=3)