# I'm a danger to the world **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873 "2007-03-21T15:26:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/1 "2007-03-21T15:26:08Z")
I got adventurous this morning and tried to cook some eggs, with a pre-made “scramble” mix of mostly frozen veggies. In the ten minutes or so I was in the kitchen for, I managed to do the following: \*Spill half a mug of coffee onto the newspaper \*Start to burn the vegetables (note: clean up _after_ cooking, not during) \*Lightly burn my hand (note: The handle of the cast-iron skillet will in fact get hot) \*Set off the smoke detector \*Drop a raw egg on the floor \*Pinch my finger in the folding step-stool (note: everyone in my house is under 5’8, why the hell is the smoke detector up so high?) \*Step in raw egg. \*Burn my hand less-lightly (note: if you leave the previously-hot skillet on a hot burner, it will not magically cool off) \*Drop cast-iron skillet full of vegetables and eggs on the floor \*Burn my _toe_. \*Scare my dog so badly by screaming obscenities, she’s still hiding from me two hours later. At least my mother will be pleasantly surprised that I mopped the kitchen floor for her this morning. But I think I’m going to walk up to Taco Bell for lunch today; I need to cross four busy lanes of traffic to get there, but I’m pretty sure it’s safer. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/2 "2007-03-21T15:35:02Z")
**_Ninja_Chick**? You might want to, um… you know, rethink that a little. 🙂 Wanna hear about me pouring a gallon of boiling honey on my foot? I don’t know if it’ll make you feel any better. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/3 "2007-03-21T16:15:04Z")
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist] **_Ninja_Chick**? You might want to, um… you know, rethink that a little. 🙂 [/quote] Hey, my username is “Balance”, and I once tripped over a big yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” sign. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Wanna hear about me pouring a gallon of boiling honey on my foot? I don’t know if it’ll make you feel any better. Ow, ow, ow…boiling honey is like napalm for mead-makers. It sticks and burns. I’ve never spilled that much, but I’ve burned myself with the stuff far too many times. Sympathies for your ill-fated attempt at breakfast, **NinjaChick**. Hope you survive your trip to Taco Hell! ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/4 "2007-03-21T16:22:03Z")
[QUOTE=Balance] Hey, my username is “Balance”, and I once tripped over a big yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” sign. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Yeah, I’m a terrible pessimist who, at work, has long been called “Bitter Bob”, so I guess I’m a fine one to talk. [QUOTE=Balance] Ow, ow, ow…boiling honey is like napalm for mead-makers. It sticks and burns. I’ve never spilled that much, but I’ve burned myself with the stuff far too many times. [/QUOTE] Among the list of lessons I learned that night was “wear boots when mead making”. Hot honey + cotton socks… I got off lucky with only second degree burns. **NinjaChick** , check in occasionally so we know you’re not laying in a ditch somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/5 "2007-03-21T16:28:35Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] But I think I’m going to walk up to Taco Bell for lunch today. [/QUOTE] Now THAT’S dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/6 "2007-03-21T16:31:56Z")
I went up a tree with a chainsaw to cut off dead limbs when the tree started to fall. I dropped the running chainsaw on my arm. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/7 "2007-03-21T16:52:49Z")
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist] Yeah, I’m a terrible pessimist who, at work, has long been called “Bitter Bob”, so I guess I’m a fine one to talk. Among the list of lessons I learned that night was “wear boots when mead making”. Hot honey + cotton socks… I got off lucky with only second degree burns. **NinjaChick** , check in occasionally so we know you’re not laying in a ditch somewhere. [/QUOTE] Alive and well, thanks. I had to run up to the mall anyway, so figured I’d grab lunch there (there’s something so delectably _horrid_ about Taco Bell, IMO). No further injuries were sustained, and by, uh, borrowing some of my parents’ leftover chicken from last night, I’ve regained my dog’s trust. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/8 "2007-03-21T17:00:43Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] . . . No further injuries were sustained . . .. [/QUOTE] Tell that to your colon! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/9 "2007-03-21T18:29:54Z")
Wow, you cook like me! Just makes you want to cook something every day, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/10 "2007-03-21T18:57:30Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Tell that to your colon! [/QUOTE] I hearby nominate “Tell that to your colon!” as the new SDMB meme. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/11 "2007-03-21T19:10:33Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Tell that to your colon! [/QUOTE] I believe **Autolycus** wins the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/12 "2007-03-21T19:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Tell that to your colon! [/QUOTE] It’s about time somebody talked back to their colon. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/13 "2007-03-21T20:16:47Z")
My colon is talking back to me. (frrrrrrrrpp) :o ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/14 "2007-03-21T20:44:23Z")
Wanna see the scar on my arm from tripping over my own two legs? Let’s also talk about the concussion I gave myself on Saturday (dizzy, couldn’t walk straight afterwards, sleepy, had to lie down for a while) and the quarter-sized bruise on the back of my leg. Also, how I’ve apparently managed to _sprain_ my _foot_ without noticing. Hang in there, **NinjaChick**. You may end up in a full body cast someday but you’ve got a really, really cool username, and that’s what counts. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/15 "2007-03-21T21:15:15Z")
[QUOTE=Encinitas] I hearby nominate “Tell that to your colon!” as the new SDMB meme. [/QUOTE] Oh shucks, you’re making me blush! tell that to your colon) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/16 "2007-03-21T23:03:40Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Wanna see the scar on my arm from tripping over my own two legs? Let’s also talk about the concussion I gave myself on Saturday (dizzy, couldn’t walk straight afterwards, sleepy, had to lie down for a while) and the quarter-sized bruise on the back of my leg. Also, how I’ve apparently managed to _sprain_ my _foot_ without noticing. Hang in there, **NinjaChick**. You may end up in a full body cast someday but you’ve got a really, really cool username, and that’s what counts. 😉 [/QUOTE] Hah! I’ll keep that in mind next time I do something so spectacular it draws blood. “Welp, I’m about to pass out because _oh god blood_, but I’ve got an awesome username online!” Believe it or not I’m fairly coordinated when not doing cooking things. I’m not the picture of perfect grace or anything, but I (usually) can go about my life without serious injury. But put me in the kitchen and Something Happens; the best I can figure, I mentally de-age to the age of six or so. ---
**Author:** ![CoBa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@CoBa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoBa)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/17 "2007-03-21T23:19:59Z")
I am suddenly reminded of **the dreaded sparkler incident of DOOM!** It was not pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/18 "2007-03-22T02:15:00Z")
I once cut myself very badly with a butter knife. Backstory: my ex-boyfriend (still friends) had taken a job selling Cutco knives. I lived in a college dorm at the time with no kitchen, so I had no need for a big collection of kitchen knives, but I bought a butter knife from him. It was actually a nice knife- had a sharp edge. Moral of story: never buy knives from your ex, even if you’re still on good terms. I moved into an on-campus apartment with a kitchen, and used the aforementioned knife to cut open a plastic package. I miscalculated, and ended up badly cutting my left middle finger (I still have a scar, more than 10 years after). It bled a _lot_, so much that I was worried that I would bleed to death. Then I started really hoping that my atheist friends were right about there not being an afterlife, 'cause I _really_ don’t want to spend eternity explaining how I managed to kill myself with a butter knife… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/19 "2007-03-22T07:24:26Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Battery Acid] I am suddenly reminded of **the dreaded sparkler incident of DOOM!** It was not pretty. [/QUOTE] SHARE!! As for me being a danger; I’m not normally klutzy (tell _that_ to your colon) but I was in my chemistry lab and I managed to firstly, break the end of a distillation apparatus (I didn’t notice it in the tube and it fell out and broke). And then I knocked over a baby measuring cylinder. And told my partner that I would do the calculations; could he please clean up? ---
**Author:** ![dynamitedave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed655f/32.png) [@dynamitedave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dynamitedave)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873/20 "2007-03-22T09:25:31Z")
At times, I get to use explosives 😃 To help, I get my friend to top off the holes with ANFO and do the stemming. At least once every job, my friend says “Oops” :eek: Oops is not a word you want to hear when using explosives :smack: [Video](http://s82.photobucket.com/albums/j248/JustInCase_2006/blasting/?action=view¤t=Cartwright26-12-00.flv)😛 Click on each thumbnail [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-danger-to-the-world/396873.md?page=2)