# I'm a married man. Why do you want me? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-married-man-why-do-you-want-me/50675 "2001-01-18T12:20:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-married-man-why-do-you-want-me/50675/1 "2001-01-18T12:20:09Z")
Okay, I’m not really married. But this thread is about the phenomenon of married men getting more attention from women. I’ve had friends tell me that it also kicks in when they just have a girlfriend, as well. Does this really happen? Why? Do men do this? What do women get out of it? ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-married-man-why-do-you-want-me/50675/2 "2001-01-18T12:36:25Z")
WAG: That married men are “safe” targets for flirting? Practice flirtees, kinda. Personally, I maintain a very hands off (so to speak) stance with anyone who is married or coupled. But I know the phenomenon exists. My ex~husband was a very goodlooking, gregarious guy. I couldn’t believe the number of women who would flirt with him right in front of me. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-married-man-why-do-you-want-me/50675/3 "2001-01-18T12:42:13Z")
From what my best friend tells me, who used to go after married men, there are a number of reasons. 1. Married men tend to be better sexually, from having more practice. A single guy without a girlfriend is doing really well if he gets sex once or twice a week. A man who is married (or in a committed relationship) often has sex a LOT. Before my recent problems with my wife, I had sex about 5 or 6 times a week. 2. A married man isn’t as likely to become possessive or controlling. You don’t have to make a committment to him, he can’t really complain about you dating other men. For some women, this is considered a benefit. 3. They are less likely to take you for granted. They have someone that they pretty much take for granted already, and they are looking for something new and exciting. You are the person who is adding spice to their sex life, who makes them feel special again. 4. Married men can be easier to control - they are afraid that you might tell their wives about the affair. Hey, I never said my friend was scrupulous. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-married-man-why-do-you-want-me/50675/4 "2001-01-18T14:15:21Z")
We discussed this in my Soc class. The same reason women in relationships get hit on more than they did when they were single. They’re relaxed, they look better, they don’t have that aura of desperation around them that they did when they were unattached. If they’re in good relationships, they even have that happy kinda glow that is very attractive. The hitters usually don’t even know that the hittees are married/attached, they just know they like what they see.