# I'm a Noob **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2008, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962 "2008-10-01T03:28:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/21 "2008-10-01T17:01:02Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > **BaileyC** , it’s traditional for new members to start a GD thread about their political views. Your thoughts on religion would be welcome as well. The broader your statements the better; that’s just more to debate! Dopers are also _really_ big on conspiracy theory. The more outlandish, the better. If you have any crackpot theories that AmeriKKKa needs to wake up to, I encourage you to crosspost them to every subforum on the SDMB so that more people can see them. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/22 "2008-10-01T19:21:21Z")
Are you a noob or a nub? Oh well, welcome aboard! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/23 "2008-10-01T21:54:00Z")
Hi, **BaileyC**! Before I discovered the **SDMB** , I spent some time around the turn of the millennium on that Usenet site you mentioned. If you’re who I think you are, you’ve spent some time in the county from which I’m posting this message (check my location field). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/24 "2008-10-01T22:59:33Z")
**BaileyC** –art thou ready to submit to the Squid, the Castor Oil, and the Cream Cheese? If so…we got a **live one!** How far can we string this one, til he/she tumbles? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/25 "2008-10-01T23:06:29Z")
Are you a he-Bailey or a she-Bailey? And either way it is the custom for all Noobs to stand trial so the older of us inmates can confiscate possessions. You can provide your own defense but it must have better showtunes than most of the book numbers from _Man of La Mancha_. And don’t even think of ordering the veal today. It’s really cubed steak that they’ve switched the labels on. (Look for the sign of “Sloshy the Veal Calf” to know when its authentic.) ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962/26 "2008-10-02T00:19:23Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Waitaminit! > > You mean there was a choice? > > I was assured that it was both! > > :Starts plotting revenge: It _is_ both, but sometimes we let the noobs decide which one goes first. Oh, and I nearly forgot: Did you bring the chocolate and alcohol bribes, **Bailey**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-noob/465962.md?page=1)