# I'm a real doper now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079 "2001-11-30T05:26:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/1 "2001-11-30T05:26:19Z")
I was called a “puddle of distended rectal filth”. in [this Pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1871238#post1871238). I got called bad, not-so-good names by not one but two people - in the Pit no less. I feel so special now I think may swoon. [sub] I’m rubber you’re glue…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/2 "2001-11-30T05:40:59Z")
Dammit, I’m not a real Doper! I’ve never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that’s about it. Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/3 "2001-11-30T05:42:34Z")
Congrats, by the way, I think. Behold the power of self-absorption. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/4 "2001-11-30T05:55:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*I was called a “puddle of distended rectal filth”. > \*\* _Distended_ rectal filth is the worst. Solidified rectal filth is better. That’s why people say, “You’d better get your shit together.” It’s important to keep your poop in a group. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/5 "2001-11-30T05:58:40Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s important to keep your poop in a group. Now that’s f\*\*kin hilarious! BTW Mermaid, you’ve always been a Doper now you need to attend a DopeFest and really show your love for being a Doper. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/6 "2001-11-30T13:30:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*Dammit, I’m not a real Doper! I’ve never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that’s about it. > > Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman. \*\* Why would we flame you, **Ogre**? You’re liked by most of us. Just not _well_-liked. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/7 "2001-11-30T13:38:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by techchick68 \* > \*\* > > BTW Mermaid, you’ve always been a Doper now you need to attend a DopeFest and really show your love for being a Doper. \*\* She’s already RSVP’d for the Cincinnati leg of DopeToYourDoor[sup]TM[/sup]! We can scarce wait to meet this alleged “puddle of distended rectal filth”. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/8 "2001-11-30T13:57:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*I was called a “puddle of distended rectal filth”. > in [this Pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1871238#post1871238). > > I got called bad, not-so-good names by not one but two people - in the Pit no less. I feel so special now I think may swoon. > > \*\* Congrats, **Mermaid**! Looks like you and I both have lost our [cherry](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101645). The part that really stood out was when I was told: > [@](#): > > …taking a break from you puerile antics to come pass your trifling judgment on the quality of my pit thread. Perhaps if I had been less diplomatic and more inflamatory it would have been less mediocre in thine eyes? Would you like to be called an eruptive spastic colon, or did you have something else in mind? I’m now a full-fledged member! [sub]Hehehehe…I said “member.”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/9 "2001-11-30T14:22:46Z")
Gosh, Mermaid and Superdude, I though you were both real dopers all along. I though I was, too! I guess not, though, until I’ve been cursed in the Pit… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/10 "2001-11-30T14:38:26Z")
Hey Superdude You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo. Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/11 "2001-11-30T15:05:08Z")
I got told I need mental help (like, really?? Newsflash!) Does that make ME a real doper? Zette ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/12 "2001-11-30T15:16:42Z")
You know, I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself. I just beat 200 posts yesterday – took me months. I’ve met lost of Dopers in person at Dope dinners and am planning heavily for the upcoming NYC Dopefest. I now realize it was all a sham. Everyone likes me, so I obviously have no prayer for becoming a “real” Doper in your eyes. I feel dirty. Hell, the other day I called a bunch of people delusional, whiny children with no respect for others and are worthy of nothing but being ignored – in Cafe – and only one person commented on a single part of my post, and not the part where I was derisive. This is dreadful. I need to piss somebody off. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/13 "2001-11-30T15:19:36Z")
::reads Superdude’s link:: Jiminy Crickets! Mentioned in the Pit! Whatever shall I do? :rolleyes: I was in the thread **The Mermaid** got it in too, but escaped before the filth-slinging began. **World Eater** was acting like an ass, and the discussion quickly went downhill after his “yeast infected hatchets” remark. Classy. As to **Waverly** ’s thread–I thought about elbowing in and defending myself a bit, but **Superdude** seems to have already taken care of that. (thankyou!) Besides which, judging from the speed with which it devolved into a dildo-naming contest, I really don’t think anyone cared overly much about the subject of the OP. Like you said **Mermaid** , I think it just means we’re special. Yeah, that’s it. Out of the thousands of posts to read here, they cared enough to comment on _ours_. ::Sigh:: **Zette** –I think that definitely counts. Schizo! Oops gotta go now pEEps, N’Sync on MTV RIGHT NOW!!, ther soooooo kewlies! bella–whose preteen days are far behind, and best forgotten ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/14 "2001-11-30T15:37:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > **…but Superdude seems to have already taken care of that. (thankyou)…** Aw…you’re quite welcome. I have milliseconds of chivalry, where I have to stick up for people. 'ts why I became a superhero. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/15 "2001-11-30T15:54:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Hey Superdude > > You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo. > > Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me > > sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. 😛 \*\* OH NO!!! :eek: **It´s Spreading!** it’s everywhere!, nuke this thread! **NUKE IT!** ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/16 "2001-11-30T16:08:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*This is dreadful. I need to piss somebody off. \*\* What the hell are you doing here when you should be attending to your post partum wife and brand new baby daughter, you, you, _bad guy_! Welcome to Doperville. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/17 "2001-11-30T16:15:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Frodo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > > \*\*Hey Superdude > > > > You know that sounds like a great name for a dildo. > > > > Mmmmmm Superdude Dildo. Yep works for me > > > > sounds much nicer than either the dried cat tongue dildo or the wild badger dildo. 😛 \*\* > > OH NO!!! :eek: **It´s Spreading!** it’s everywhere!, nuke this thread! **NUKE IT!** \*\* [There’s more.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=101645) ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/18 "2001-11-30T16:34:16Z")
**Rysdad** , I’m Army. I must work. See? SDMB is my work! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/19 "2001-11-30T16:55:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*Dammit, I’m not a real Doper! I’ve never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that’s about it. > > Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman. \*\* Shutup, you drippy fucksicle. The only reason no one has ever flamed you is the same reason you wouldn’t spend any time insulting a ant that bit you. You’re simple and one mental step above a rock – No one has flamed you because it would be a waste of words and thought, and you would just drool and giggle like you usually do. [sub]Feel better?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079/20 "2001-11-30T17:04:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mouthbreather \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > > \*\*Dammit, I’m not a real Doper! I’ve never gotten into any extended flame wars. I once had a thoughtful, mildly vitriolic exchange with Snooooopy, and I think Mr. Cynical once called me a fool, but that’s about it. > > > > Behold the power of mediocrity! I feel like Willie Loman. \*\* > > Shutup, you drippy fucksicle. The only reason no one has ever flamed you is the same reason you wouldn’t spend any time insulting a ant that bit you. You’re simple and one mental step above a rock – No one has flamed you because it would be a waste of words and thought, and you would just drool and giggle like you usually do. > [sub]Feel better?[/sub] \*\* [sub]drool…giggle[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-real-doper-now/96079.md?page=2)