# I'm a slavedriver **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2012, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717 "2012-06-10T13:40:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/21 "2012-06-10T19:27:04Z")
Ugghhh, my sympathies. I hear you can find the best hit men on Craig’s list. Discrete and cheap! Totally professional too! 🙂 My advice. Anytime anyone complains about anything respond with “quit your fucking bitching”. Its quite freeing. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/22 "2012-06-10T19:30:38Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > I must be even more eebil than you. My seven year old: > > 1. Folds his own laundry and puts it away (he can’t reach the washer and dryer buttons) > 2. Does the dishes daily > 3. Has to clean up his own room and his own messes > 4. Helps with groceries > 5. Helps with general housecleaning - like say we’re cleaning the house or something and he’s in charge of vacuuming > 6. I also make him [model my sewing creations](http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/321622_823862411382_1087064262_n.jpg) because I am [eebil](http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/197759_780445264692_3903076_n.jpg) > 7. And I taught him make coffee once, so I get coffee from him on the weekends > > I only pay him a measly $5 a week. I just love it that child labor is legal when it’s your own kid. I [picked up the habit](http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/644_548661541132_2063_n.jpg) when he was about four or so. > > Really - a big giant :rolleyes: to your pests, I mean, guests. What a cutie! ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/23 "2012-06-10T19:38:35Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Og forbid you expect people who are essentially living with you to be polite. Or your 17-year-old son to contribute to the upkeep of the household. > > I wish I could give you suggestions other than, if you can, get them the hell out of there. > > My guess is that when they say he should wash the cars, they mean their cars as well, correct? I’m sure they did. To add insult to injury I was informed by her that I am NOT to buy my son a car unless somebody (I guess mom) is going to widen the driveway. We already have 5 cars with only 4 spaces and there is not enough room for another car. I started to say well no, maybe the two people who are staying here temporarily need to pack up and move and take their two cars with them. Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped myself. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/24 "2012-06-11T01:24:25Z")
Some people just like to bitch and will bitch about anything. If you don’t like it and can’t get your mom to kick them out, you could kick yourself out (meaning, move out). You’re entitled to complain about their bitchiness, but you won’t change it. The next best option is to remove yourself from their sphere of influence. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/25 "2012-06-11T01:25:31Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Sounds like your house guests need to be sold to another plantation. :D:D:D > [@sahirrnee](#): > > I’m sure they did. > > To add insult to injury I was informed by her that I am NOT to buy my son a car unless somebody (I guess mom) is going to widen the driveway. We already have 5 cars with only 4 spaces and there is not enough room for another car. > I started to say well no, maybe the two people who are staying here temporarily need to pack up and move and take their two cars with them. > Maybe I shouldn’t have stopped myself. Works for me. I think your mom should throw them out. Tell them that they had their 2 months and more, and that she doesn’t care that he just changed jobs, he had a perfectly good job he quit because he didn’t like it. Life sucks that sometimes you have to do stuff you don’t like. ---
**Author:** ![Stendhal\_Syndrome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Stendhal\_Syndrome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stendhal_Syndrome)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/26 "2012-06-11T03:19:01Z")
My soon to be ten year old daughter: - Does her own laundry and folds it and puts it away each week. - Takes out the recycling twice a week to the bins outside in the backyard and sometimes helps me pull the bins up to the curbside. - Takes out the trash from the other smaller trash cans in the house as when they get full - Does her own dishes most of the time and cleans up after herself - Cleans her room and her study desk every weekend - Helps put away groceries and she is responsible for putting away her school lunch items in their proper places after I return from grocery shopping. - Clean the windows once every month I have recently started paying her a little money each week for her chores and she is slowly learning how to save her money and spend her money wisely to buy things for herself. She is awesome.🙂 I would’ve expected nothing less if I had a male offspring. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/27 "2012-06-11T09:15:32Z")
Our kids (boys and girl) had a similar range of chores when they lived at home. In addition, once they became teenagers (i.e. 13 and sometimes before), they had to **cook a full meal** once a week, and it could not be the same meal week on week. That way, once they left home, they could at least cook a range of meals from scratch that were edible (and, in fact, were darn good), clean house, do laundry, shop, iron. Oh, and the understanding that life isn’t always easy, or fair, and does not always come with a safety net. You know, be [adults](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2156475/How-tell-grown-up.html). :rolleyes: Si ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/28 "2012-06-11T10:17:14Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I have been informed by them that I am a slave driver to my 17 year old son because I (gasp) expect him to > > Mow the lawn, rake the leaves, shovel snow - depending on the season. > \*Unload the dishwasher. > \*Vacuum. > Feed the dog. > Take out the trash. > \>snip\< > Clean up behind himself and keep his room in livable condition. Ok. Now that we have his basic domestic skill set, I suggest that a good slavedriver would have him: Mow, rake and shovel their shit out of there. Unload the freeloaders. Vacuum some money from their pockets. Feed their dog to your dog. Take out the trash. (See item 2). Since he has to keep his room in a liveable condition, how come grandma gets to mess up her whole house with these boundary-stretchin’ eejits? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/29 "2012-06-11T12:44:33Z")
I agree these folks sound insufferable. A sideways question, though: why are you and your son living in your mother’s house? I’m wondering whether your mother feels that she has to take in relatives who need a place to stay, but maybe she’s a little resentful, and maybe the other relatives have picked up on that and for complicated reasons are white-knighting your mom in passive-aggressive ways. Do you have plans to find a place, or are you and your son permanent fixtures in the house? ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/30 "2012-06-11T13:19:14Z")
You and your mom should have a chat. It is up to her to kick the relatives out, but you can let her know that you will happily back her up. Failing that, tell her that you want her presence while you have some choice words with her guests. Tell her in advance what you are going to say so she has fair warning and then let loose on the others yourself. And tell them that every time they comment about how you raise your son, you will point out that he is better at sticking to a job than they are. If all else fails, consider moving yourself. It might be tough on you and tough on your mother, but putting up with hospitality-sucking, rude, ‘temporary’ houseguests may be worse. You’ll have to weigh all the options available to you. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/31 "2012-06-11T14:29:39Z")
What’s preventing you from moving out of your mother’s house? Even a modest apartment for you and your son sounds like it would be a much better arrangement than what you’re dealing with now. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/32 "2012-06-11T15:27:11Z")
My 14yo son has a similar list that he’s supposed to do, and does with varying levels of enthusiasm. Dish in the sink? If it’s there in the morning because he had to rush to catch the school bus he gets a pass. If it’s there in the evening because he couldn’t put it in the dishwasher because it’s full of clean dishes the top of my head wants to fly off. It sounds to me as if the OP’s son gets a lot of things right and deserves the same consideration when he misses a step as we all do. And yes, cleaning up the mess made in the house by a dog that isn’t yours is worth a ton of dishes in the sink. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717/33 "2012-06-11T15:38:05Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > What’s preventing you from moving out of your mother’s house? Even a modest apartment for you and your son sounds like it would be a much better arrangement than what you’re dealing with now. It may be a similar thing - my brother moved in temporarily with my parents when he got divorced 20 years ago, but they liked having him there to do the yard, heavy chores and make sure the VCR stopped blinking [:D] and so they didn’t have to either find a cat sitter or put the furballs in a boarding kennel when they went on vacation. IMHO nothing wrong with a multigenerational household. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-slavedriver/624717.md?page=1)