# I'm a troll **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 17, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134 "2010-09-17T21:36:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/21 "2010-09-18T01:19:47Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > > This isn’t an “Ask The…” thread in MPSIMS you dimpled vaginal breakfast pastry! > > Cunt muffin? We are in MPSIMS now, folks. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/22 "2010-09-18T01:22:38Z")
What would you like to eat? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/23 "2010-09-18T01:22:54Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > > [@statsman1982](#): > > > > Cunt muffin? > > We are in MPSIMS now, folks. > > Just sayin’. That’s right, folks-food talk belongs in Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/24 "2010-09-18T01:46:51Z")
Ok, troll, I attack you with my two-handed broadsword…_clatter_ and with an 18 plus 5, I hit! I am rolling a d8 for damage-and you take 3 points damage. Who’s next in initiative order? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/25 "2010-09-18T01:48:39Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What would you like to eat? I keep hearing classical music along with this phrase on my head… [Robert Mitchum] “…Its What’s For _Dinner!!!_” [/Robert Mitchum] ---
**Author:** ![Robb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Robb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robb)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/26 "2010-09-18T01:53:06Z")
Do trolls believe Og is the one true Og? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/27 "2010-09-18T02:42:24Z")
Aw, really? But I wuz bein’ a troll! What do I need to do? Eat some billy goat’s gruff? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I ain’t no gruff-eater. I should complain about this action in the Pit. Aw, who’m I kidding. The modz’d just pat me on the head and shuffle me back here. “There there Mr. crispy vaginal breakfast food with lots of butter and strawberry jam…” Oh well. > [@statsman1982](#): > > > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > > This isn’t an “Ask The…” thread in MPSIMS you dimpled vaginal breakfast pastry! > > Cunt muffin? Waffle. One of the more brilliant pitting names. Ok, lessee… **BayouHazard** , _Ouch_ \* Regenerate \* \* dodge \* Now I get two paw attacks and a bite, and since I’m a pumped up supertroll, the product of a megalomaniacal 13 year-old DM, I hit at +20 for max damage every time! And I disarm you. And I eat the arm! You take 20 damage and attack at -4 until you can get a greater restoration spell. Good luck with that! And you know, it really isn’t easy being a wealthy professional. I mean, the wealthy bit’s pretty easy cuz I just gotta roll around in big heaps of cash all day long. But the money really makes it tough to concentrate on my job. And everyone always asks me for money and nobody really unnerstands ME, y’know. Uh oh…looks like we’re gonna have to retitle this thread: “I’m an attention Whore” I guess czarcasm called it in two. Someone should just urinate on me. ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/28 "2010-09-18T03:17:48Z")
(Tumbles, dodges and uses run feat…) (Pulls out superior regeneration potion from pack and chugs. Arm grows back, hit points restored.) _shrugs_ -Life’s good when you’re married to the DM, as I am.- _shoots troll with exploding heavy crossbow bolt from distance of 30 feet_ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/29 "2010-09-18T03:20:00Z")
Nonono, it’s “I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?” ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/30 "2010-09-18T04:55:36Z")
I for one do not volunteer to urinate on you, **Inigo**. What brought all this on? ---
**Author:** ![EVERYNAMEISTAKEN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@EVERYNAMEISTAKEN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EVERYNAMEISTAKEN)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/31 "2010-09-18T05:00:41Z")
Oh crap. I just got trolled. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/32 "2010-09-18T05:04:34Z")
Where’s your bridge? I want to tramp over it. ---
**Author:** ![rayman5321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/33 "2010-09-18T10:41:54Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I’m a troll, not a yooper. Do you live under the Mackinac bridge? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/34 "2010-09-18T18:36:31Z")
> [@EVERYNAMEISTAKEN](#): > > Oh crap. I just got trolled. Well, la-de-da - “I’ve been here for a month, and I’ve been trolled already!” Mr. SpecialPants. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/35 "2010-09-18T23:50:11Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > I for one do not volunteer to urinate on you, **Inigo**. > > What brought all this on? I was bored and I wanted to troll in the pit. Unfortunately I lack the focus and necessary level of vitrol to maintain a serious pit thread so it got moved here to suffer an ignoble death over the weekend, or else to be humanely executed Monday morning, probably by **SkipMagic**. But since we’re here, I owe you a welcome back drink. And I owe Cat Whisperer a drink for…well, she just needs one. And to everyone else here… [PARTY!!!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=578752) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/36 "2010-09-18T23:54:55Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I was bored and I wanted to troll in the pit. Unfortunately I lack the focus and necessary level of vitrol to maintain a serious pit thread so it got moved here to suffer an ignoble death over the weekend, or else to be humanely executed Monday morning, probably by **SkipMagic**. Since he’s no longer a mod, that seems unlikely. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/37 "2010-09-19T00:06:49Z")
[This is a link to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ). ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/38 "2010-09-19T00:17:37Z")
Trolls are real! When I was a kid we had one in the area who had a problem with his pants–seems they automatically fell when he got near a schoolyard. All the kids were warned and in about five minutes we’d determined that he lived under a nearby bridge in a hut made of dried algae. Of course none of us went under the bridge to check. But later I bought a troll doll, so I guess I was scarred for life. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/39 "2010-09-19T01:01:23Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > > I was bored and I wanted to troll in the pit. Unfortunately I lack the focus and necessary level of vitrol to maintain a serious pit thread so it got moved here to suffer an ignoble death over the weekend, or else to be humanely executed Monday morning, probably by **SkipMagic**. > > Since he’s no longer a mod, that seems unlikely. Oh, he’s euthanized so many of my threads he’d probably find a way. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134/40 "2010-09-19T02:10:41Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > [This is a link to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ). I actually have grown to kind of like that song. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-troll/554134.md?page=3)